When you're in a relationship and ready to take that next step, waiting for him to get down on bended knee can feel like an eternity. But if a friend gets engaged before you, it can make the waiting game even more unbearable. I've never been in the engagement race before, and while I know it's not about who gets a ring first, I do know that jealousy can easily get the best of you. One would expect someone's first reaction to a friend's engagement to be that of excitement and joy, but if you're waiting in the wings for your time to shine that reaction could be resentment instead. Of course you can't help how you feel, so do tell, have you ever been secretly disappointed by your friend getting engaged before you?
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Et Vous
Graham and Green
theOutnet
of course!
1I want to be engaged!
I will wait, I don't mind, but when I find out a gf of mine is engaged I instantly want to be too!
Not disappointed - I'm always happy for them, whether it's an engagement or a pregnancy - but secretly I wonder what's wrong with me, or what mistakes I made. (i.e., did I not push him hard enough? should I have waited to move in? am I not meant to have that kind of relationship? etc., etc.)
2I was the first of my friends to get engaged. I do know that one of my close friends was horribly jealous when I got engaged. She got engaged a few months later, though.
3I never felt jealous but I do know that when major things like engagement, marriage and pregnancy don't happen around the same time, inevitably friendships can be affected. Not because of jealousy but simply because priorities and lifestyles change. So whenever one of my friends announce a big news, I feel a change is coming and it makes me sad a little.
4I have been lucky with a resounding NO. Most of my friends got married before me and while being around them with their planning and parties I was content with what I was doing career-wise so not jealous. I think I irritated some of them by not obsessing about finding someone so any awkwardness was on their end. When my now husband proposed I was not expecting it and happy with our relationship at that time. I didn't have the lag time in a relationship wondering why I wasn't engaged yet. I know I got lucky and not everyone gets the timing and circumstances I experienced.
5When it's supposed to happen, it will happen!
6I'm jealous every time I hear someone is engaged. I am getting used to it cause it's not happening for me for a few more years.. boyfriend just started med school.
7No never....... but I have been extremely over the moon happy for her.
8I don't get as jealous so much as nauseous
My boyfriend is prepping for law school
so we're going to be waiting awhile (I don't want to start our life together in debt), but it's definitely overwhelming when everyone is getting engaged as of late...this past summer at least
9 of my friends got engaged, some who have been in relationships for much shorter periods than I am in (about a year, etc.) or they're younger than I am.
It's weird, because although I am happy for them, I always feel strange on the inside - I don't want to say jealousy, because I know now is not the time for me to be engaged, but I guess I'm confused as to how they're ready so quickly...I have to remember everyone is ready at their own pace
9I don't get as jealous so much as nauseous Eye-wink My boyfriend is prepping for law school so we're going to be waiting awhile (I don't want to start our life together in debt), but it's definitely overwhelming when everyone is getting engaged as of late...this past summer at least 9 of my friends got engaged, some who have been in relationships for much shorter periods than I am in (some of them have been together for less than or about a year, etc.) or they're younger than I am.
It's weird, because although I am happy for them, I always feel strange on the inside - I don't want to say jealousy, because I know now is not the time for me to be engaged, but I guess I'm confused as to how they're ready so quickly...I have to remember everyone is ready at their own pace Eye-wink
10Not jealous...just happy for them! Everyone is different. I never got hte hurry to get married...life is NOT a race. And why would you want to race to the end when ..well the the end is death? Oh dear that sounded a bit morbid! But just enjoy what you have at the moment (single or attached). Stuff happens for a reason. Though I am quite sure I already know WHICH of my friends would be jealous and depressed if one of the group got engaged...and it is not an attractive trait..and makes them bad friends!
11Let me clarify, I mean bad friends because I know these indviduals will sulk and get hte girl who is engaged down...and also get people to pitty them for attention. I dont' mean you can't be jealous or feel sad because a friend is engaged...just don't drag other's down and make the person that got engaged feel bad! You are entitled to how you feel!
12i dont have any super close friends who have gotten engaged, at least not anyone my age, but when i hear about girls i know who are younger than me, i get upset, totally irrationally
13i recently felt this way when my best friend announced that she was engaged to her bf of 4 months. iv been with my bf for 4 years and we seem more serious than them. im still very happy for her.
14i think there are degrees of jealousy
on a scale from one to ten
1 being aww i want that too, and
10 being im gonna sabotage this
i think one is pretty normal but people who lie between 5-10, i personally keep my good news away from them. yes people, i believe in the "evil eye" [scary music]
15Yep, a friend of mine got engaged just a month ago. I was jealous for a couple of weeks, to the point where I was making myself miserable. I had to sit down and realize that what I have with my boyfriend is great, and when it's our turn to take that step, we will. Until then, I'm just going to continue to enjoy our relationship!
16last year, I got engaged, one of my friends got engaged shortly after that, and then another one of my friends...7 months later, my engagement broke off and I was left to plan my friends' weddings while dealing with my recent heartbreak...burn! haha...oh well
17I too wonder when will be my turn but I'm happy for them. Jealous yes but not to the point where its malicious or hurtful.
18No, not jealous at all. My friend thought I was and picked a fight with me. I was like "No dear, get over yourself." Now that I'm engaged, I've noticed she tries to one up me with wedding plans, I just shake my head and move on.
19Not jealous, just sick of having to hear about all the little, teeny tiny details. Yes I plan on getting married someday but I don't want to hear about all that planning crap right now.
20I haven't been jealous, but feeling along the lines of "when will I finally meet the one?".
I've never wanted to marry any of my ex-boyfriends, so there was no relationship envy, a la "why has her boyfriend proposed before mine?". I also dread big weddings (I plan to elope if/when I find the one), so I'm also not jealous of the attention/gifts/pampering a bride receives.
21Definitely NOT. It kind of freaks me out, as I can't imagine getting married or having children anytime soon, even though people my age are dying for that ring and complain about it all the time. I would probably run for the hills if I was proposed to now.
22Most of my close friends are engaged and one is newly married. I currently am not in a relationship and haven't had the best luck in the past. I am truly happy for them and they don't wear me out with details. I wouldn't say I am necessarily jealous of them, I just wish I had the same happiness that they have.
23My room mate just got engaged over the summer. I couldn't be happier for her!!!!
24No, I'm not the jealous type. I'm happy when good things happen for my friends.
25Being single, I have gotten a little jealous before.
26no way! its one of the most exciting times of a girl's life - and she should know you have nothing except happiness for her!
27A little jealousy on the inside is probably pretty normal... but it's when it starts interfering with the happiness of the friend that a problem arises. And for the record, not all people who are engaged want to inundate their friends with planning details. I only report when something big has been decided, and it's to the two people who want to know.
28I can't say I ever felt disappointed, but I did feel a twinge of envy a few times when friends were meeting the right guy and there I was, perpetually single. I was always happy for them, but unhappy for myself.
29"its one of the most exciting times of a girl's life"
god, i hope my life isn't that boring that getting engaged would be a highlight.
I was once--but not so much because my friend was engaged but that she was marrying this guy that my ex & I would hang out with. We were kind of the serious couple, relationship-wise, and they are a really fun, but odd couple. Anyway, we loved them, but it was kind of assumed that they wouldn't make it while we were talking about marriage. And then my ex & I broke up after 2 years and 4 years after our friends started dating they got engaged. I was more upset that I screwed up my relationship and her engagement party just made me think about my failure. Marriage scares the hell out of me--I will delay it as long as possible.
30no...the first thought is me planning their wedding.
all of my close friends know this...so the next thing is always planning and color schemes.
i don't feel jealous of them, i'm happy for them.
most of them are a bit older, so of course they are settling down or getting remarried.
for me, i'm not trying to get married right now.
31Nope I was very happy and excited for my friends who got engaged before I did.
32A couple of years ago my best friend got engaged and I was living with a guy, who was never going to marry me and I was insanely jealous. But she called off the engagement and I moved out and by the time she got married to a great guy, I was really happy for her. I think it's all about where you are in your life, if you are happy then you can be happy for other people.
33Two of my best friends completely stopped talking to me after I got engaged.
34Bry, that is really sad. I absolutely love when my friend's are engaged or married. I freaked out when my bestie called with the news. I couldn't wait to see her (I was at college at the time). This year alone 2 of my girls got married. Another one is planning. I'm totally excited. I love to help plan the wedding and attending engagement parties and bridal showers. We know how to keep it SPICY!
35None of my friends have been engaged yet but my twin brother just got engaged and I'm not jealous as much as shocked and sort of weirded out - it's one of those my whole family always thought I'd get married first and no one thought he'd ever get married. Different with siblings than friends though I suppose.
36I did - because I wanted so badly to get married but we were waiting until we could have financial stability, and it just was SO hard to see my friends get engaged - I was happy for them, but wished it was me.
37I have, but only because she is doing a big wedding. We didn't do anything big at all, so I'm a little regretful on that, but I'm super excited for my friend anyway!
38I am currently going through this. My best friend just got engaged, and I have been an emotional roller coaster. Of course deep down I am so happy for her, but I am bitter. I am not going to lie.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Whenever "wedding" talks can up between my friend and I, she would always start to help brainstorm wedding ideas for my wedding. Then she got a boyfriend and even then all wedding conversations were only about planning my bf and I's wedding. I always told her that her bf and her (of 1.5 years) would be engaged and she could start playing "what if" too. But she always brushed this off claiming that wasn't happening anytime soon.
So while I wait for my official engagement (we decided we are ready, it is just about him asking) my friend out of the blue gets engaged.
It is horrible. On top of that, we have a lot of the same styles/tastes and all the ideas I had thought about for my wedding are coming up for hers. I just don't know how to balance trying to be a great, supportive, and loving friend with the jealousy/bitterness I feel towards the situation. The timing sucks.
Everyone is different and my bf and I have our own plan that works for us, I just need some advice on how to curb these new emotions.
39I've never been the jealous type until the past year. i did feel jealous when someone got engaged. I've been with my bf for 3 years now and all of a sudden everyone I knew got a bf and got engaged! Embarrassed to say I did have that feeling.
40I thought I was going to be proposed to recently however I completely got the wrong end of the stick and was disappointed. I got back to work to find that one of my dear friends had proposed to his girlfriend and are now engaged. I'm really happy for them but I feel a bit sad, rather than jealous .. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he's said that he definitely wants to marry me, have children with me but he's just not ready. I guess I just don't understand how he knows he wants to marry me and have a family with me but he can't ask yet .. we've been living together for over two years and been together for four. We're both 29 and I can almost hear my clock ticking.
41I don't know why people tend to be in a rush to get married & "grow up". My bf & I have been together a little over seven years and I'm still not sure if we'll ever get married. My ex "bff" (lol, she always liked to refer to me as that) got engaged & became a total bridezilla....looking back at various instances, it seems like she was constantly trying to one up me in all sorts of silly things. I don't think this is a true friendship and as such when faced with that sort of "friend", you're better off without them in your life.
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