Ugh. That picture made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Haha, Piper, me too! I can't figure out why his picture was there at all.

Ut was there to remind you how repugnant liberals are

* You think censorship is absolutely wrong; except when it's applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine.

That's not funnny. I don't get it.

"You think censorship is absolutely wrong; except when it's applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine." sounds like a true enough statement to me.

I saw a clip on O'Reilly last night of an upcoming movie lampooning Michael Moore. It looked hysterical.

Best Diet aid out there, Jabba the Moores mug

"You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism"

"You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun. "

My personal favorites

There are You Might Be a Conservative If lists floating around. Here are few that stood out.

You Might Be A Conservative, IF...

... you complain about the “liberal media” (CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, etc.) on any of the numerous conservative political radio talk shows.

... you have a bumper sticker that says “Insured by Smith and Wesson.”

... you believe the hole in the ozone layer to be a myth created by crazy liberals.

... you believe the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion.

... you have faith in economic policies such as “trickle down economics.”

... you have a button that says “I’m not prejudiced, I hate everyone.”

... you’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

... you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of b*tches.”

... you’ve ever called education a luxury.

(referring to photo)

Finger lickin' good, eh? Eh? .... EH?

Anybody with me? Helloooooo?

geez amy, isn't that extreme - even for us?

My favorite...

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

togleson I liked that one too.

Running the risk of being labeled a conservative... education IS a luxury.

Webster's defines luxury as "something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary". I think education fits that bill.

i love these lists. i write them sometimes too. but mine are far too mean to post here.

I like these lists. They often cast the parties in the worst light possible. I feel sorry for anyone who believes that any of these lists accurately portrays any group, except for Liberals, that is.

Okay, lili, I'll step up to your post. Sorry that it's a little long, with the cutting and pasting and interspersed comments.

You Might Be A Conservative, IF...

... you complain about the “liberal media” (CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, etc.) on any of the numerous conservative political radio talk shows.

-- I don't complain, life is too short. I acknowledge reality and move on.

... you have a bumper sticker that says “Insured by Smith and Wesson.”

-- Well, I don't, but I'll bet those vehicles are broken into less often than the ones which say: "Impeach Bush".

... you believe the hole in the ozone layer to be a myth created by crazy liberals.

-- Other than misrepresenting the propaganda, I'm not sure it has been proven conclusively that this is an unnatural development or human-caused.

... you believe the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion.

-- Not surprisingly, this erroneously cites the American tradition. the Declaration of Independence, however, reads: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Given that these were western Europeans, I don't believe that they intended "Creator" to mean Allah, Buddha, or anyone other than the Christian God.

... you have faith in economic policies such as “trickle down economics.”

-- ...because jobs are created by welfare recipients and minimum-wage workers. Uh huh.

... you have a button that says “I’m not prejudiced, I hate everyone.”

-- This has been my credo for a long time now, but I prefer to refer to myself as an "equal-opportunity hater." I believe that makes me more egalitarian than someone who supports affirmative action.

... you’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

-- I'm actually pro-choice, but can understand the stance that someone might believe in giving a baby a chance for life, but still want to execute someone who wasted their opportunity and harmed others.

... you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of b*tches.”

-- As contrasted with a liberal, who would probably admire England's Neville Chamberlain.

... you’ve ever called education a luxury.

-- As many years as it took me to finish my Bachelor's, while working full-time and raising a family, I'd say it *is* a luxury. The liberal element in this item, however, is the implicit devaluation of blue-collar work. (Presuming that this is a liberal's take on conservatism, s/he is obviously looking down his/her nose at someone who would consider education inessential.)

Just a funny list from the internet, parallel to the one linked in the post. I'm not sure there was any need for an enthusiastic defense, but you were thorough.

Just sharing alternative viewpoints.
IMO it's helpful for us understand our differences.
Plus, there were some points to be made.

Okay, so where's the offensive and denigrating list about conservatives from the Sugar site?

Um, did you see liliblu's post above?
I can add a couple.

You might be a Conservative if:
...you spend time thinking things through instead of making an immediate, instinctive decision.
...you think change for merely for the sake of change is not enough.
...you remember when audacity was a bad thing, and still think so. As per Merriam Webster, "bold or arrogant disregard of normal restraints"
...you do the math on politicians' proposals before reaching a decision.
...you remember when common courtesy really was, and miss it.

(BTW, The courtesy comment is not directed at anyone here, it's just a general pet peeve of mine.)

CityGirl was that to imply that the Sugar site is biased to the right???

It is very funny to see how defensive people are about the "You Might Be A Conservative If..." references on a thread that links to a Townhall feature doing a takeoff on liberals.

If I were defensive, I wouldn't have spent the time on a detailed reply.

In my experience, those who accuse others of being defensive are generally unwilling to hear a reasoned rebuttal.

Sorry you don't get the humor, because it really is funny to read this thread. It's everything you need to know.

Gosh its hard to read the comments through the haze of self-satisfaction!

Hmmm, I would have said self-righteous pomposity, but that's close enough.

Self-righteous pomposity and haze of self-satisfaction? Seems harsh, but ok...

"Ugh. That picture made me throw up in my mouth a little bit."

"Haha, Piper, me too! I can't figure out why his picture was there at all."

"Ut was there to remind you how repugnant liberals are"

“You think censorship is absolutely wrong; except when it's applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine.” That's not funnny. I don't get it."

"You think censorship is absolutely wrong; except when it's applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine." sounds like a true enough statement to me. I saw a clip on O'Reilly last night of an upcoming movie lampooning Michael Moore. It looked hysterical.

"Best Diet aid out there, Jabba the Moores mug"

"You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism" "You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun. " My personal favorites”

"(referring to photo) Finger lickin' good, eh? Eh? .... EH? Anybody with me? Helloooooo?"

"geez amy, isn't that extreme - even for us?"

"Running the risk of being labeled a conservative... education IS a luxury. Webster's defines luxury as "something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary". I think education fits that bill."

"I like these lists. They often cast the parties in the worst light possible. I feel sorry for anyone who believes that any of these lists accurately portrays any group, except for Liberals, that is."

I'm surprised the Townhall list was even posted. Didn't we know it would devolve into this kind of bickering? Aren't we all trying to be nicer?

I feel bad now for even posting that quip about minimum wage, but I thought maybe it would stay funny and friendly.

torg actually thats the only one i found funny!

the others ones i just didnt find funny

"(referring to photo) Finger lickin' good, eh? Eh? .... EH? Anybody with me? Helloooooo?"

"geez amy, isn't that extreme - even for us?"

These comments were amy's and yours, respectively.
Since party lines seem to have been drawn ("even for us"), that on is on the blue side of the line.

Dave's comment #3 was obviously tongue-in-cheek, he even flagged it as such with an appropriate emoticon. Besides, Dave has proven himself to be quite middle-of-the-road here.

Snarky remarks about celebrities who have intentionally created controversial public personas are not pompous or self-righteous.

I fail to see how any of the other referenced comments are self-righteous, pompous or self-satisfied.

I didn't think the list linked was that funny, either. But then I think we stopped trying to be funny with things like,

"You might be a Conservative if:
...you spend time thinking things through instead of making an immediate, instinctive decision."

Obviously implying liberals make immediate, instinctive decisions. Which isn't really even trying to be funny or clever, just sort of harsh.

torg, perhaps Liberty and Citizen thought we had cooled off enough to have a sense of humor. Oops, guess not. But it seems it only degenerates into name-calling if particular folks pop in.

I'm confused, was comment #20 supposed to just be funny? It was a little mean, and I don't get it if it's supposed to be a joke. I thought I had a pretty good sense of humor...

torg, #20 was not laugh-out-loud, but a bit tongue-in-cheek.
I didn't see anything mean in it, though.
The bit about courtesy was more a matter of daily life: driving, supermarket shopping, etc. I noted that it wasn't intended to apply here.

Steph, I don't see why my comments should have offended you. I simply don't like Michael Moore, and unless you're secretly the big man himself, I'm not sure why that's an offense to you. And I couldn't figure out why his picture was here because none of the stories had anything to do with him.

Also, I don't think my comment about education was being defensive, I was just making conversation. I thought that's what this site was for.

"I fail to see how any of the other referenced comments are self-righteous, pompous or self-satisfied."
Laine, self-righteous, pompous and self-satisfied came from you and Cab - that's how you both characterized the comments.

I intentionally included comments from Amy and me - they were at the beginning of the thread and did represent the initial blue responses.

Sorry if I missed the joke. The other ones were more obviously ridiculous, so it was clear they were jokes, since of course no one actually thinks "the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion." Yours seemed to be saying liberals make rash decisions, want change for the sake of it, think being bold and arrogant is good, and don't do the math on a politicians' proposal. It also sort of said liberals are not so much with the common courtesy, though you did say you didn't mean anyone here. When people are rude when driving or supermarket shopping, how do you determine if they're a conservative? Do you ask or just make an educated guess?

Lain - I'm not sure if I should be insulted that you called me middle of the road. Am I not good enough to be conservative now?

BTW - I'm gonna chat here and stay away from the religious(border fanaticle) discussion about gambling). Those guys are freaks.

That made me wonder, too! Maybe if middle-of-the-road means not-militant.

stephley, your comment #27 seemed to be casting the noted earlier remarks as pompous and self-satisfied. I'm sorry if I misunderstood your comment structure.

torg, my remark "...you remember when common courtesy really was, and miss it" was more a reference to the fact that many "traditional" values are perceived as being old-fashioned, and conservatism is often considered old-fogeyism.

If anything, it was self-mocking.
Of course, if my point was unclear, then it was not funny.
My fault.

On the other hand, isn't Obama's whole campaign founded wholesale change and audacity?

Dave, sorry, you're just not as nutty as some of us.
You'll have to try harder.

:workout:
I'll get right on it. It may not work since I did marry a screamin liberal.

Hey there's nothing wrong with being "middle of the road". I believe I'm better able to see both sides of the spectrum that way. I think everyone needs to take it down a couple of notches and stop taking everything so personally. I thought both lists were funny. Because if you look at people on the extremes from both sides they usually fit their stereotypes and it's hilarious really. Why can't we have more sense of humor in here. Why do we have to take ourselves so seriously. I know politics is serious business and all, but come on. Life is too short to get so angry/offended over something that was supposed to be funny. Lighten up. Oh and that was directed and any one person or side. It was more for everyone.