You’ve been close with your best friend since you were kids, and you’ve witnessed her love life every step of the way. After a difficult end to a doomed engagement, she’s been having a hard time moving on.
Next thing you know she’s taken up with a man 20 years older than her. He spoils her rotten, and seems to care about her deeply. You know some people think that age is just a number, but something about their relationship dosen’t sit right with you — from what you know, it seems like he’s made a habit out of dating young women. Now she’s confiding in you that she sees herself marrying him, so how do you handle this?
Opening Ceremony
Flexfit
No Romeo
Ummm...let her date him. It's not going to matter what anyone tells her anyway!
1Just be happy for her! When and IF he does hurt her all you can do is be there for her. But, at least give the guy a chance. It could be true love!
2as much as i would want to hold her down and tell her how i feel, i would let her do what she feels is right, who am i to step in the way of love?! plus i wouldn't want to risk my friendship.
3The girl's in love, if I say anything she'll just assume I'm jealous, or I don't "get" what they have. There's nothing I can do, just be there for her.
4uh, i just found out one of my friends is dating a 39 year old guy (she's 26). it's kinda gross, but whatever. i would just deal with it the way i'd deal with any of my friends' boyfriends....just stand by her no mattr what.
5Sometimes those guys do settle down and marry one of their younger girlfriends - unless the guy has a known history as an evil skunk, there's no point in getting involved.
6Handle what? It's her life!
7well if we're talking about my best friend, i would just kinda indirectly state the obvious, kinda like "some people have done well with large age differences, and some havent. as long as u truly feel u'll be happy with ur decision now and in 20 years, then go for it. just make sure u consider all factors :)"
8something along those lines. and then just be there for her.
As long as she's happy, I would be fine with it. Besides, there may be genuine love between them, even though there's a considerable age difference. That's possible. JMHO.
9I don't think a woman dating a man 20 years older is a big deal at all. In fact, I gravitate toward men 15-20 years older. They are mature, they have their lives together, and by that time they know exactly what they want. It's much easier than dating a 20-something.
10This is completely not relevant... but could that woman's face be more obviously photoshopped to be skinnier??
11i'm married to a giy 20+ yrs older then i. i don't see a problem with it/ if shes happy i'm happy.
12On the other side of the coin, I am significantly older than my bf, and it works. Its not something I set out to do, I have dated my own age, and older...it just came down to personalities.
I don't see him as some sort of "prize", he's just my bf. We get along because we are similar, similar things matter to us, we share music interests, we appreciate what the other one brings to the relationship and we are both very honest.
If anything he had to get me to stop worrying about the difference, and I am glad I finally let that go, because it was stupid.
Try not to assume the worst, or a stereotype..in the end, it really has to be the person first, not the number over their head.
13tell her as long as she's happy , go for it!!
14Haha, it's like a page out of my life - my best friend IS doing this (however, there wasn't a sad engagement, but a bad break-up).
At first, I had a hostile reaction to it - he was married at the time, then he got divorced "because of her," even though he was married for 10 years - but he's growing on everyone and it seems he really cares about her. She is happy, and I am not going to stand in the way of her happiness because there is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
15Funny, i just recalled knowing someone that is dating someone 20 yrs + her senior. It's caused some issues with her family so i've asked when she's giving him his walking papers. She too wants it to be over.
16Who cares about age? I dated a guy 12 years older than me for 2.5 years and he was wonderful. The age difference was funny sometimes "hey when I started school you were just leaving!" and that kinda thing. ;p
It was cool though. As long as you are both mature enough it can work so I would leave her to it!
17I don't see any of my best friends doing this, and if they did I wouldn't care. One of my friends ONLY dates older men (some of them 60!) because that's just what she's attracted to - who am I to judge (and why would I?)
18I'm adopted and have no idea who my biological parents are so I have a strict policy about not dating anyone old enough to potentially be my parent. I won't pester him/her about it but I WILL call their significant other mom/dad. They'll just have to deal w/ it. heh
19Age can just be a number, but it isn't when a person is attractive to a person because of age.
Some men are attracted only to young women and in this case I find it unsettling and shallow. Women are no better when they are looking only at the older man's money. In those situations, eventually, the woman grows older and/or the man grows bored or the woman finds someone with more money.
Your friend may not be a shallow sugarbaby, but you should not approach the topic anyway(unless losing the friendship is a risk you are willing to take).
20I have thought about this a lot actually! My 45 year old boss is dating a 25 year old girl, and he has major peter pan syndrome. I would encourage my young friend to think about the future! when you're 50... he'll be 70. Ask her what her parents think?? Does she REALLY love him, and is she not secure in finding someone closer to her age?! What's in it for her, nice gifts? C'mon, lets be honest here!! Who is she fooling!
If she's totally fine with changing his diapers, I guess I'd be cool with that.
21I'm 18 years old and I'm in a serious relationship with a 38-year old man. I know this is a risky age gap, and I believe that as much as I love him, I remain very watchful of him. For example, does he demonstrate an attraction to younger women in general? Does he buy me things in order to keep me happy? Most importantly, does he expect any sexual favors? Every younger woman dating an older man should make sure of this if they want to move on into marriage.
22I'm 48 yrs old, divorced and haven't been asked on a date by ANYONE in at least a year! I and met a 27 year old guy online yesterday who wants to meet me. My first impression was "Geeezzzz! I have a 27 year old daughter!" and I told him that. It didn't deter him at all. He thinks I'm super attractive, he kept saying he wants to get to know the person behind that smile, and I thought...I can either sit here and wait for a guy my age to ask me out, or I can go and meet this guy, enjoy myself (hopefully) and forget about the age difference. Whatever happens, happens.
23I am 26 years old and my BF is 20+ my senior. I have been with him for a year now but my family has never met him they know hes older than me. He has been great to me the past year hes so diffrent then all the other boyfriends that i've had that are closer in age to me.
24I don't think age in general should be a problem. If he seems like a bad person that's another story. It depends on the friend. I would hope I would be close enough that I could talk to her about it and let her know I worry. Or at least just discuss the possibility of him growing old way sooner than her. See if she's thought about it. Some people are naive when it comes to love. Unfortunately they usually have to grow out of that themselves. Just be there for her. If handled right there isn't any reason to lose a friendship.
25I am dating a 49 year old and I am 27. Here is the deal, they can all play mind games as I am sure you can too, there is no connection to their maturity level and it sure doesn't mean they are better in bed. Take it or leave it, and just find your happiness no matter how. You can date any age as long as you are having a good time and it's a mutually respectful thing. Good luck.
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