Dear Sugar,
I have a guy friend who asked me to be his guest on an all-expenses paid trip next weekend. We have been friends for about a year, but I'm curious to see if it will develop into something more while we're away. I've always been very attracted to him, so how can I tell if he's into me too? I don't want to put myself out there first and get hurt. — Interested Izzie
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Dear Interested Izzie,
Before you go on this trip together, I think it would be a good idea to make sure you're on the same page. Since the jury is still out on whether or not men and women can just be friends, I'm leaning toward thinking he's interested in you as well, but before jumping to conclusions, I think a talk is in order. A vacation is supposed to be fun and relaxing, so getting there and being let down will no doubt put a huge damper on the weekend.
Being fearful of getting hurt is a perfectly normal apprehension, but chances are, he feels the same way. You have to assume he feels something for you — why else would he ask you on this trip? — so if I were you, I'd approach the conversation in a cheeky manner. Flirtatiously ask him if you'll be sharing a bed, or ask him if this will be a romantic weekend or an adventurous one; if you give him some inkling that you're interested, he'll most likely do the same. Follow your instincts on this one, as they most likely won't lead you down the wrong path. Good luck and have fun!
Korres
Beyond The Valley
DKNY
Maybe it's just me but, it's usually pretty easy to tell if someone is into you or not.
1Well, would you be okay with being just friends with him if it turned out he wasn't interested in you "that way?" I'd just GO, and have a fun trip! Make that your priority, just to have a good time. Odds are he is interested in you if he asked you on this trip. But just play it cool and don't make romance your only goal.
the only way this could be a problem IMO is if you were NOT interested in him that way and did not want to be caught in a situation like, where you share a bed. Then I'd be sure to have the discussion with him prior to leaving!
2i disagree with dear - i wouldn't ask him or talk to him...i would have an awesome trip, with a friend, and if something develops then something develops. i mean, there will be drinking, lower inhibitions, no responsibility....it will be amazing fun and most likely he is interested if he invited you in the first place, but at the very least, you are his first choice to hang out with for a week of relaxation so just go and don't worry so much!
3I agree with skigurl. Just relax and see what happens. Don't put yourself out there first if you're not comfortable with it.
4Have fun!
Enjoy your vacation and the company of your friend.
Because you're already bracing yourself for possible future hurt, I'd advise you to prepare yourself for all possibilities -- if the two of you become intimate, do not automatically consider it a demonstration of his desire to continue a romantic relationship with you. He might just be interested in a fun fling with a cool gal.
Or he might not be interested in you at all.
Be perceptive and don't worry yourself needlessly. Keep sharp, use your intuition and make decisions that serve your best benefit. Thank your friend for his generous gift.
Have a great time!
5this is pretty much a set up for you to hook up!
6free vacay!! woot woot! lol just go with the flow girly!
If he's a good friend, staying friends could not be so bad, I've lost good guy friends to relationships before.
7Agree with skigurl. Have an awesome time and if anything happens (which it probably will), great!
8Also with skigurl on this one. If you have the talk or start flirting before the trip, it could get SUPER awkward spending a weekend with just him. Just relax, and then you can have fun whether you end up hooking up or not!
9I reckon if he wanted something with you, he's had a year to to kick something up.
10I don't recommend having 'a talk' with him before going... at all. He will bring it up if he's interested in something happening, trust me! Otherwise, you need to step back a bit, get ready for a great vacation, and go with absolutely zero expectations other than to have a great time.
11I'm so confused by all the don't say anything or ask questions comments. I think if you want to know .. ask. If there is something on his mind but not on yours and you wait to get there and he expects you to sleep with him are you going to do that just to "go with the flow"? And what if you do hook up wjile you're down there and it's just a hook up to him but it means more to you or vice versa? I think you could avoid confusion and hurt and making a good friendship awkward by just asking a simple question. I mean it seems like something is up since he's asked you to come and it's all on his tab, but you don't wan to be put in the position where he thinks you "owe" him just because of that.
12I'm also with skigirl on this. Why do we girls always have to analyze and question and put it under a microscope? Go on the trip and see where it takes things. You'll know soon enough if he just asked you along as a friend.
13I say go on the trip and have fun....make sure you wax your snatch and be up on your birth-control. Condoms are fun too....
if something goes down, then great. If it doesn't, then great. you got a free trip!
14Exactly! No one wants to be used as a rag.
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