Do you have any reason in NOT forgiving him for an honest mistake? What if the shoe was on the other foot? Mistakes happen, we are not perfect and people should not go around assuming the worst.

Unless, you know otherwise, Give him his just due! I think he would do the same for you, wouldn't he?

Sounds fishy but give him one more chance, if he fails, let him go, he's just not that into you.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

jeny is right! what's with the text?
i had a guy do the almost exact same thing, and after the text i didn't really hear from him again. so sure, if you really really want to, text him back with a funny joke that makes it seem like you don't care "i'll forgive you just this once!" or something stupid, and see what he does. but if he doesn't make a grand gesture, then move on. frankly even if he had slept all night long, he should have CALLED you, not TEXTED! and he should be sending flowers and making it up to you TODAY!

FINALLY, I caught someone who doesn't think we MALES have any BRAINS !

WHERE DOES IT SAY FEMALES ONLY?

For your information my dear Jeny, I have contributed to groups that are wives who have husbands, Mothers who have Sons and Daughters and also Grandparents who have Grandson's/Granddaughters, all whom are fighting a WAR which I do not support but yet am there for each and every one of them in uniform!

I use to be an NCO who MOTHERED young soldiers in time of war, I kept most of them from getting killed or maimed and I've held my fair share of our young in my arms while they are dying!

I have no more purpose in my life then come here and give advise to those who need it the most, regardless if it's right or wrong.

It's not that males dont have brains it that you have completely different opinions or would rather fight for the guy then look at the facts and delve into the psyche of the guy who STOOD HER UP.

In this case, women realize that it was weird he didnt call her. He texted her the next day instead of calling her after he woke up or (if it was REALLY late) texting her when he woke up. Women realize this means he was probably lying about falling asleep or he just doesnt care enough to call. As a guy, you should be giving us advice like "If I fell asleep and woke up after our scheduled date I would have called ASAP to apologise" or explaining that sort of thing instead of just going "give the guy another chance! no harm no foul! C'mon, give him a break!"

By the way, what does being an NCO have to do with giving relationship advice? I partially agree with Jeny on this tho yea, technically this isnt for Women Only it is aimed specifically at women.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

@ Fallen85

First, I did not say give him a break! Unless, she otherwise have any doubts about the truth, give him a chance until proven otherwise.

Second, I believe that you should re-think about my being an NCO not giving advice to females who have males in a war.

Third, I am in no way trying to disrupt anyones feathers here, am here to help those that need another persons advise,views,thoughts and opinions regardless of it's being a FEMALE or MALE!

Forth, Before you start bashing someone over the head with your ego, do a little research and you will find that my 1st post is seeking the advise of women on a subject that I need help with!

The OP says that the plans were tentative, which means not set or not final, so I think you should give him another chance. If he didn't want to hang out with you, he wouldn't have contacted you again.

If they were "tentative plans", then they were tentative plans. He doesn't owe you anything more than a simple apology. No flowers. Sheesh!

Give the boy a second chance and if he fails again, then by all means, deem him unreliable or uninterested. Get more than "tentative plans" this time, too.

Well wow.. I'm assuming my original post was taken down for a reason.. I'm not sure what 'NCO' is or what you 'mothering' soldiers has to do with this post but i'll move on..

This same exact thing has happened to me and when I gave him another chance, it shows that I'll put up with crap like that and it will happen again.. If he really was interested in hanging out with you, he either would have A. CALLED to reschedule or B. said screw the nap because i'm genuinely interested in meeting up with this girl. So, in my opinion, he's just not THAT into you..An opinion is, however, just an opinion so all I can do for you is share my experience because as I mentioned, you'll still do what you want and if anything happens in the future where you feel the need to post another 'what do I do...' scenario, I will undoubtedly be here to share my experience then too!

Good luck!

I think it's a believable excuse-- I can't even count the number of times a short nap turned into me waking up in the middle of the night. So yeah, maybe he should have called instead of texted, but if your plans were tentative, then I don't think you were actually stood up. IMO, you should always have a back up plan for anything tentative set with a guy--even if it's watching a dvd by yourself. People make mistakes, and I think this can be forgiven, but if he does it again, then move on. Just don't sound too eager or disappointed in your response.

I say "give him a second chance" IF he asks you out again. Don't bother asking him out. Let him contact you and let him do all the footwork.

You say that you have had your eye on him for months. I wonder if this means that you have been pursuing him? Did you ask him out? Because if you are the one who has been chasing after him, then I would stop now. Maybe he said yes because he was kind of interested, and then wasn't interested enough to not take a nap/blow you off. It sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse to me. But if I am wrong and the guy is really interested, and really sorry, then he will phone you, apologize and ask you out again. If he doesn't do any of this, then move on. Good luck to you.

wow...the controversy!

it's really not that serious. he overslept, hopefully it isn't an excuse. Give him one more chance to take you out, if he stands you up again, delete his number.

this happened to me once... I got stood up, and he claimed his friend got sick and he had to take care of her. I gave him another chance and he was an hour late. No more chances after that!

This has actually happened to me before....both sides. I would give him one more chance, and get you're plans set....nothing "tentative" that way if he happens to flake out again you can call him on it! If something like that does happen again, he's obvs not someone worth your time. Good luck : )

Hey, it was an honest mistake, and you two aren't even in a close relationship yet. And was it a text or a voice message?

if he was really that into you, he wouldn't have fallen alseep & forgotten to call you, he would have been excited enough to see you that he wouldn't have fallen asleep. not worth giving him another chance.

I'd say NO. He's probably on drugs or something if he just passes out sleeping for the rest of the day and forgets a date.

Drugs?! Are you kidding me? He just played golf all day & he wanted a nap. I don't do drugs, but if I've spent the day doing a physical activity a nap could easily go several hours and before I know it I wake up & it's dark outside. Sure, maybe he should have set an alarm, but taking a long nap does not mean you are on drugs.

Team Sugar, where do you get this horrible stock photos?

I agree with the others here. Give him a second chance if he asks you out. If not, move on.

I also had this happen before. After a couple of days, I called to find out what was up. He basically said the same thing, about napping and was busy. In a funny way, I told him no future dates or romantic involvement. We both laughed. We still talked and he turned into a good friend. It just wasn't meant to be. Do what feels right to you. Give him another chance if you want, but on your terms. There are men who honor their commitments, tentative or not.

Give the guy another chance!

But I'd only give him one more chance. If he doesn't make it to your second date, come hell or high water, then I'd write him off.

Nope

Looks like this post has been doctored because the first few comments indicate that he text messaged but I don't see that anywhere in the post. I absolutely hate it when that happens. Why strip out critical info? And yes, texting vs calling is important!

Honestly, you are really into this guy so you are likely to give him another chance because you like him so much. In the scheme of things, giving him one more chance hardly represents any kind of risk, right? I mean, if he screws up again, you really have your answer and you've lost a day of your life.

If it was just a mistake then he can make it up to you and you'll know right away that he's interested.

But my take is that he's not into ya.

pop, I was wondering the same thing! I kept re-reading the post to see where it said he texted. When it said "he left a message" I actually took that as leaving a voice mail message. You don't "leave" a text, you "send" a text. (or at least I don't talk like that )

I think you should give him a second chance. He fell asleep and slept through the day. I've done that before! Geez Just give him a second chance and see what happens if he doesn't show up again what's lost? I believe in taking chances in life and you sound like you really like this guy. If you don't try to get together with him again I think you'll probably regret it. And who knows what you'll be missing out on if you don't go for it?

The original post did say he Text her the next day saying he fell asleep etc. Team Sugar... who edits these things????? You're supposed to be editing for clarity.. BIG difference between texting someone and calling them.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

This happened to me once. I believe it was an honest mistake, but in my case, it was indicative of how much of a mess the guy was. I say give him one more chance, since the plans were tentative, but proceed with caution.

Ah thanks Fallen, I agree big difference between texting and calling!!!

I used to see a therapist and he gave me good advice for dating... the three date rule goes like this:

You should be able to figure out within three dates whether or not someone is right for you. NOT if that person is the ONE, but you should be able to figure out whether or not there is potential for a relationship based on this.

The first date is generally a write-off because you are both on your best behaviour and nervous. Personality traits are disguised or hidden.

The second date is usually more of the same, the nerves are still there but some personality traits may begin to shine through. A comment here or there will slip in, he/she will maybe crack a joke that might not sit well. You will learn info about job and family life.

By the third date, You will see the real personality. Mannerisms and behaviour will be relaxed. If that person chews with their mouth open, they chew with their mouth open!

So my advice is this... if your guy didn't make it past Date #1, then he didn't pass the test. For the first date, he should have been on his best behaviour and shown you that he was interested and wanting to make it to dates number 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. (Golfing for the day or not!)

I was thinking the same thing nowhere does it say he texted it says he left a message. It would be nice to see the whole post some of these comments make no sense. Back to the post. The plans were tenative so unless there has been an agreed upon time I do not take it as I have plans that are written in stone. There are plenty of times I have been out all day and take what I think is a short nap with my dog only to wake up in the dark. Playing golf can take all day depending on what time your tee time is so chances are he got home in the late afternoon and thought I will just take a short nap only to wake hours later. I would say give him a second chance if he called you but if he sent you a text with no second chance that is just lazy.

i say give him a second chance. i've fallen asleep many times and woken up way later than i had planned. it is a little bit sketchy just because if i really care about something i'm supposed to be doing later on, i set an alarm or tell a roommate to wake me up. but still, the fact that he apologized is good. he probably wouldn't have called or texted at all if he didn't want to hang out. just be a little wary and don't be shocked if the same thing happens again. even if it was an honest mistake, it is a little irresponsible and i would be really annoyed by it.

I'd text him back saying "If you hadn't taken such a long nap yesterday, you could have taken one with me tomorrow. Too bad!"

And never talk to him again (unless he f*cking grovels).

It won't serve your purpose, but the next girl he would have stood up without the lesson will thank you.

I was tempted to tell you to forgive him, because it's really no big deal, but then I realized that it IS a big deal. If you're into someone and about to go on your FIRST date with them, you definitely can't sleep because you're excited - and if you do take a nap, to have more energy when you see them, you definitely set an alarm! I don't know, I can't imagine being into someone and sleeping through my whole first chance at spending the evening with them. And if someone did that to me, I think I'd have enough self-esteem to blow them off.

(and listen, if he cares, he'll try again. Trust me, a guy will NOT stop trying after one failed attempt if he REALLY wants you. He'll actually get even more into the chase...)

Personally, I say let him go. My last boyfriend pulled that kind of crap when we were first getting together and I still gave him chances. BIG MISTAKE. This type of excuse shows his character right away. I'm sure that if you do start seriously dating this guy there will be more and more red flags. I'm sorry if this is the wrong advice but it my personal experience and I for one will not fall for those excuses again.

sh*t happens, and if you like the guy give him a chance. we all make mistakes. but if he does it again, i'd drop him. give him a break, if you don't, you might regret it later. good luck to you!

One more chance. I mean, who hasn't slept through something (for me, it's mainly classes)? However, if he keeps telling you "something came up" whenever you have plans, take that as a sign and ditch him.

Um, if he didn't even bother to call you, and he decided to just text you to apologize...oh man, that's just bad manner. I hate text messages because it feels so impersonal, like he's trying to avoid taking complete responsibility.
So I'm pretty torn about it. Wait until he asks you for the next time, and give one more chance since you seem to really be crushing on this guy.
If he's not even trying, then move on.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

Aww, he don't even like you enough to call you when he woke up.

I wouldn't hold animosity against him. But I wouldn't be all thirsty to set up another date. I think i would just be put off.

i hate wasting time. you could've been on a date with a guy who actually has the nuts to cancel properly.

Of course he gets another chance?