Dear E. Jean,
I’m 24, just graduated from college (it took me six years to get through school — I transferred four times), but I finally did it. Now I have my whole life ahead of me and I really don't know what to do with myself.
I'm an art history major and currently interning for a prestigious museum in the city; but I'm not sure it's the path I really want to pursue. I've thought about going to grad school for art and business, but isn’t that just a great way to postpone getting a real job?
I'm living at home with my parents. My social life is so-so, my sex life is nonexistent, and I'm at least 50 pounds overweight. I'm a big dreamer, and I have many aspirations, but I can't seem to get my head out of the clouds and into an office. As I'm sure you've already noticed, I'm also incredibly indecisive.
What I guess I'm trying to ask is this: How can I get myself to grow up and start doing something with my life?
By the way, this is the first time I've ever written in to anyone regarding advice. I'm guessing you probably don't have the time to read all the letters and might have an assistant/intern reading (deleting) these for you, but any advice from anyone would be appreciate — Royally Stuck
To see E. Jean's answer read more.
Miss Stuck, My Sublime Nitwit,
Oh, for godssakes! Stop yammering and get a job! Choose the best company in the field you’re interested in RIGHT NOW and get a job. Be the “coffee girl.” Start in the mail room. You want a thrilling life? Take a risk. You’re wasting waaaaay too much time concocting the perfect “path” for the “whole life ahead of you.”
You are the path. Repeat: You are the path. You are the person you choose to be. And right now you’re choosing to be a dithering, roly-poly little goose who lives with her mommy and daddy.
Your life is not “ahead” of you. Your life is right now. Respect the moment. Get a job. Run with it, fix things as you go, earn some money, move out of your parents' house and start your damn life!
P.S. And don’t drive yourself crazy. We’re all morons when we start out. We just shift course as we go. And by the by, I do read every single letter which comes in, and I can promise you: You’ll have a brilliant life if you get off your hiney and take action.
To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com.
Theory
Hot Diamonds
Petite Mendigote
Great advice. I'm the same age and in grad school in a field I'm not particularly interested in. It's kind of annoying watching everyone I know pass me by getting on with their lives in prestigious med schools or law schools while I'm both stuck and blowing in the wind at the same time.
Hmm.
1YAY E. Jean!
E. Jean's right Honey.........you need to get off your A** and do something. So what if you get a now job while you search for your IT job? Maybe if you get up and do something and start moving you won't be 50lbs. over weight.
Getting off your ass and getting a job and not wasting your parents well earned money on a good education should be starters for growing up and getting your head out of the clouds. They paid for an education that you should use any way possible and I'm sure it will be well appreciated no matter WHAT office you get into at this point. They are probably wondering if you are going to be one of those people that end up sponging off them for the rest of your life while they wait for the day their "Baby" is going to be a woman and let them have THEIR time.
2well, i'm glad the poster came to this conclusion herself because i was about to say it, in a less than kind way: "I'm also incredibly indecisive."
friggin right you are!
get movin, and good luck!
3Agreed. I am about the same age...but I thought about what I wanted, and thought about how to get there..asked tons of people who are doing what I wanted to do for advice..and got there. Graduated at 22...now I am 24 and working my dream job
4I'm 27 and still don't really know what to do with myself either. That is pretty normal. BUT while you figure it out, look for a job doing anything even remotely related to your major or what you might want to do. I was a Soc major and looked at marketing, advertising, secretarial jobs, etc- now I do research for a law firm. Not the greatest job, but it pays well, I moved into my own place, and I had time to figure out more of what I wanted. For example, I decided not to go to law school after working in this law firm. Plus you will get some job experience! Most people don't know what they want to do when they graduate, and fewer work their dream job then- you have to work your way up. So- get a job, and then think about whether you want to go back to grad school. Your work experience will never hurt.
5ehadams, I worked at a law school previously and now work at a law firm (not as an attorney) and I too decided not to go to law school. Blehhh!
Anyway, I'm 23 and I don't really know what I want to do with my life. But I do know what I love and I think focusing on that and identifying what your passionate for will definitely help POINT you in the right direction. Mind you, POINT not GET you there.
6Great advice! You just have to go for it. Get the attitude that you want to be somebody and you will!
7I left law school after 2 years and am now in grad school and following a plan that I feel fits me better. On I'm 25 finished undergrad at 22 and will be done with grad school summer 09.
8Kgkgt, what didn't you like about law school and what are you getting your masters in now? Just curious.
9LOL, 24 must be a time of much contemplation - that's how old I am...but I think the important thing to remember in this equation is this - do what you want to do at this age, not necessarily what you NEED to do! You are still young! =D
10wow leaving law school with only one year left?! that's crazy!! Did you just realize you didn't like it? Good for you for making that decision, many people just stay and "settle."
11E. Jean, you're the greatest!!!
12Oh man. 24 is the year. I'm there, though I'm actually at the job already... I am just looking ahead and having a "ok, now what?" moment. I went to college so I could learn a lot and get the job. I got the job and then I thought it would be good to get the relationship. I got the relationship and the job. Now what am I working for? A paycheck for my rent and student loans so I can continue to live here and keep my boyfriend. Oh man, adulthood is thrilling haha.
At the same time, my mom can't nag me (as much) anymore because I live on my own, I get to see my boyfriend pretty much whenever I want, and I get to decide how I spend my money and how I spend my time. Having that kind of control over one's life is actually thrilling and scary at the same time. I wouldn't have it any other way (though I'd give myself a better paycheck and maybe go back and not eat out so often, of course).
13Post New Comment
Please share your opinion with our community, but make sure it is on topic and follows our Community Rules. We moderate comments and prohibit personal attacks, threats, spam, lewd images, or the promotion of your personal website.