If anyone besides me is wearing a white/ivoryish color at my wedding, there will be some problems. I think its disrespectful to the bride. Is her day, let her have her damn color. By bf said she wanted to wear a cream colored suit to our wedding and that idea was quickly squashed. I guess some brides don't care but I like to stick to tradition.

Totally inappropriate to wear white unless you're the bride.

I too, am surprised by how many offenders I've seen at weddings!

I would never wear white to a wedding unless its not the primary colour, and clearly part of something else, like a white top with a cute patterened skirt....but in general I am far more likely to wear another colour anyway.

If someone showed up in all white at someone else's wedding I would consider it the height of bad form, even IF the bride is wearing red.

There are so many other colors to wear, I don't get while anyone would choose white for a wedding.

No! No! No!

You NEVER wear white to a wedding. It's totally unacceptable.

I recall a very tanned woman wore a white style toga dress to a wedding I attended. (this was several years ago)
I thought she was the tackiest, most inconsiderate b*tch ever.

Never!!

not very respectful

What if the *bride* is not wearing white? (And you were prevised of this before you dressed for the event.)

Then it seems just fine. (Or maybe I'm just an easy-going gal on this front.)

I thought not wearing white was obvious but I was wondering how people felt about wearing black? I've done it before but have more recently been hearing about how it's a faux pas. I was also told this week that wearing red to a wedding is wrong since you don't want to be "that girl" but I had never heard of that before and didn't realize that there was a stigma to wearing a red dress.

I don't think I'd wear white to a wedding just because I don't usually wear white. But if it was my wedding and someone else wore white, I don't think I'd care.

Nevr thought of black being a faux pas...hmmm.

Black red and white are traditionally colors you shouldn't wear to weddings because of the stigma: white because of the bride, black because it is to somber like a funeral and red because it is the brazen color of an ex lover and could be seen as offensive. I don't know about black or red but I do think wearing white to someone else's wedding is rude if they are wearing white too. My new mother in law was not only an hour and a half late for my wedding she showed up in an all white suit after my husband had specifically told her not to wear white.To be honest there was so much other stuff going on that day that it never occurred to me until he mentioned having asked her not to after the whole thing was over. I wasn't really uptight about people not wearing white because I didn't feel threatened at all that anyone could steal my thunder on my wedding day. Besides my only goal on that day other than becoming a wife was to look so good I made my husband cry as I walked down the aisle and that mission was accomplished.

I have been to a couple of weddings were someone else is wearing white. I think that is a horrible Idea unless the Bride wants you to.

Thats a Huge NO NO!

I would never wear white to someone elses wedding! I was out at a store looking for a dress to wear and the sales women thought I was crazy for saying no to a white/silver dress. I thought that she was crazy for thinking that I could wear it to someone elses wedding!!

Whoa -- red, black; good, bad? Way too many rules for my comfort.

I guess I'm just an unconventional person by nature. I cannot recall what anyone wore to my wedding ten years ago other than Mr. Mouse and myself. . .Oh, nope -- I do! My best gal (substitute for bride's maid, I s'pose) wore this totally crazy lime green dress. (She was the cutest; it was all very funny and enjoyable.)

If there had been a rule for my wedding, it probably would have been: I don't care what you wear, we want you to be with us.

But we were very non-traditional about the whole deal.

I *do* try to consider the bride's wishes when I attend the weddings of others, though.

I just had this conversation this weekend. I thought it was common knowledge you shouldn't wear white since that is what the bride will be wearing. I don't get how people don't understand that.

As for wearing red... those people just love attention. Someone wore a ridulously low cut red dress to my wedding, which I thought was super rude since the attention was supposed to be on me!! She is just one of those people though, that always has to be the center of attention, even on MY big day!

Never, ever. Total disrespect (black or white).

I have mixed feelings on white. I've been to one wedding where the very elderly mother of the groom was wearing a cream suit with brown accessories. I thought that was ok, because she's an old lady and maybe it was an honest mistake, and besides it was cream and brown boxy suit. However, I attended a wedding a few weeks ago where a middle-aged woman with a very gross dark tan and bleached blond hair was wearing a white strappy sundress. That was over the line to me. It wasn't just wearing white, it was wearing white in a "notice me" kind of way.
Regarding black at weddings, I wouldn't wear black to a wedding in the south (where I live) because my Southern grandmother would kill me if she found out. In the North though, I think it's ok. Red I think is fine, unless the outfit has a plunging neckline or thigh-high slit. The most important thing to me is to not compete with the bride in the number of people looking at you, which also means super-ugly outfits are out.

White should never be worn at to a wedding. If it is part of the design ... like a print with a white background, ok... but as a pure white dress/pantsuit? no

And I think black is ok. Especially if you are attending a black tie wedding or a more formal evening wedding that's not specifically black tie.

I've heard that about red before... but never really thought about it in relation to a wedding. I don't wear all red anyways.

I don't know why everyone thinks its rude because that's what the bride wears.

Not all brides wear white, that is such an old tradition any more.

For instance, I'm not wearing white i want the colors I want for wedding and white doesn't fall into that.

If someone wore white to my wedding i wouldn't care.

"If there had been a rule for my wedding, it probably would have been: I don't care what you wear, we want you to be with us."

A nonny mouse, that would be my rule too! Which came in handy when the maid of honor's luggage was lost and we thought she might have to walk down the aisle in a sundress or jeans.

I personally never saw a problem with that.. unless you actually rent a bride's dress and people get confused about who's the bride and who's the guest.
In fact, a friend that just got married married in a little short dress with a very coloful pattern, and told everybody before the wedding that they should go in different bright colours, or white if they felt like it... most of people went there in black and white... boring!
I never understood the whole "I'm the bride, I should be the only one in white" bratty thing. It just seems so childish, and on top of all you're supposed to be mature enough to get married! come on!
Maybe it's because of the whole white dress connotation... it's supposed to symbolize virginity, and seriously... how many brides nowadays are actually virgins? (I know there are a lot, but they're not the vast majority of them however) It's like... I'm a virgin and personally I like to wear white because it symbolizes it... but if I'd follow the criteria some brides do, then I should be offended that they're wearing "my colour" when the only virgin thing about them is the cotton wool their sweaters are made! please... give me a break!
That being said, of course if I know the bride doesn't want anyone else to wear white then I wouldn't do it in a million years... that would be deliberately vicious.
But the day I get married, anyone can come in any colour! Hell, I doubt I'd marry in white anyway! (I think I will follow my mom's steps and marry in a stunning Jessica Rabbit-like red dress)

I never agreed with how the focus is always put on the "bride" but not the "bride AND groom", it's about "us" not "me me me", on my wedding day I'm not thinking about "it's all about me" I'm thinking "Wow I'm finally with my life partner!!" HOWEVER, since bride's dresses are usually white, it's just not a good idea to match her. As for making other rules like no red or black, who cares!

I think over all only the bride should be in white or in the same color family that is a tradition I do like to see. As for red, I look great in red and I agree as long as you are not wearing a plunging neckline or a micro mini than it does not matter. I do not think it is a look at me color unless the person makes it that way.

no-no.

I'm attending my cousin's wedding this weekend and this issue came up. I have a gorgeous cream-coloured dress. I think even that is too close to a white dress.

I'm just traditional.

Its just plain wrong to wear white to a wedding or a solid color of the brides colors (dont want to be mistaken for a bridesmaid) It is the brides day to shine and to stand out.

I would never wear white/ivory to a wedding, even if the bride isn't wearing white/ivory. To me those colors just represent the bride - I know it is very old fashion of me but I'm a sucker for tradition, most of the time. I've been to plenty weddings where the bride changes into a different color dress for the reception - a lot of red for traditional Chinese weddings. I think black and red is okay depending on the wedding. For example, a black tie wedding. I wouldn't wear black to a beach wedding. Its all personal, varying from each bride and each wedding.

I wouldn't wear white to some one's wedding ... then again, I only ever go to Asian weddings and white is the color of mourning.

white, yes, disrespectful to the bride especially if she cares about those things. But, black and red is fine. My colour scheme is royal blue & black, so I have no hatred against black and think that it can look really tasteful if done right.

As for red, considering I almost went with the traditional vietnamese red ao dai.

It really isn't the colour that does disrespect in the case of blue & black, it's the intention and location.

Personally, I don't care at all about the attention. I'd rather someone take some of it away because it's kind of overwhelming to me! I think people are at the wedding/reception for one reason: to celebrate a couple spending their lives together. No one can take away from that by wearing one color vs. another.

If you are asked to wear white, then I think its fine, otherwise I would say definitely don't wear white.

My aunt turned up in an all white outfit on my wedding day and I was ready to send her back to TX!

This is a big no no! I would die if someone showed up at my wedding in white/ivory. It's my wedding and they can get there own!

At my wedding, my aunt showed up in an off-the-shoulder all-white dress. She's not the type to do it by accident, I'm sure she did it on purpose to stand out and look glamorous. She certainly did stand out but I think that for her own sake she should have picked a different color. When you're in your 70s, it's not a good idea to wear a dress that will invite comparisons to the 28 year old bride.

I had a beach wedding and wore champagne while the bridal party and guests wore white. I'm cool with others wearing white. The white dress thing is really a new phenomenon that started to be popular less than 200 years ago.

I'm super traditional in just about every way when it comes to wedding, but this business of not wearing white because it's "the bride's day" is just ridiculous to me. I got blessed out by some chick once upon a time at a friend's wedding because I wore a white sundress, and my response to that was, "Yes, I'm so sure that I, in my white cotton sundress, am constantly being confused with the beautiful bride in her floor-length satin gown and veil. Why, we're practically twins!"

This whole color-Nazi business smacks of control-freak Bridezilla to me. I can't imagine, on my wedding day, noticing one single thing anyone else is wearing. And I certainly can't imagine ascribing nasty underhanded motives for anything my guests are wearing. There's so much that's wonderful and magical about that day--why on earth would you waste your time thinking about someone else's dress?

I personally couldn't care less what color people wear to my wedding. Brides need to get over their egos. You aren't a princess, sorry.

I would never wear white to a wedding--certainly not my own.

Unless someone is showing up in a white ball gown with heavy beddings I would care less. But again I am someone who if I ever get married wants my bridesmaids to look at freakin hot as possible because they are my family and friends.

i always thought that you weren't supposed to wear white,black or red, for the reasons mentioned. Now perhaps ivory should be taboo too since a lot of brides (even first timers) are going with ivory dresses these days. I think any patterned dress would be a good bet though, even a pattern with the taboo colors. And grey is in style right? No excuses to wear the taboo colors ladies! It is not that hard to CONSIDER what you put on when you are invited for such an important event.

I would probably wear off-white because I'm a bit traditional, and I don't want to give the impression that I saved myself. I think having people walking around in dresses that are the same color as the bride's gown is tacky, so I might mention the color of my dress on the wedding invitation. I would also insist people don't wear red or low-cut, not because it would take the attention off of me, but because boobs & general skankiness can be very distracting to ME (And no, I'm not a lesbian!).

i agree with wadewifey. I don't wear white. Not even black because I'll think I'm going to a funeral. I think the bride should only wear white.

I would never wear white to a wedding, Ive worn black once but the wedding was very non-traditional, it was a Vegas wedding, very 'anything goes.' Red I'd never heard of but I wouldnt wear a red dress anyway, reds for clubs, its not very formal. I would be livid if someone wore white to my wedding. Id probably go balistic.

Definitely no white at a wedding. Imagine my surprise when my mother-in-law showed up to my wedding in white... We'd even discussed that my mom was wearing green and the bridesmaids were in purple... Shouldn't have been too hard

I'm with kikidawn; it's okay if it's part of a tasteful print but solid white or ivory is not acceptable.

I would never wear white or black to a wedding. Unless the bride asks guests to wear a certain color. I have heard of "black and white" weddings where guests were asked to wear black or white. Other than that type of situation...I wouldn't do it!

I like red, but since it's a wedding color in many cultures, too, I err on the side of caution and avoid both white and red for weddings. Pastels and Jewel tones (other than the reddish ones) tend to be safe bets. Yeah, something with a multicolor pattern is probably even safer.

Never heard of the problem with black. Don't most suits and tuxedoes come in black? I would understand how it would be weird, however, if you were wearing a huge black funeral veil...

I don't want to piss off the bride, and even if she doesn't mind, I don't want to have to deal with people getting in my face about what I'm wearing. That would just be a major pain in the ass.

I coudn't care less what color my guests wear. I agree with erinridgeway. How could you confuse a guest wearing a white cotton dress who sits with all other guests, to a bride wearing an elaborate long white gown/dress who sits upfront where guests look up to? If the guest is wearing a white ballgown or something similar, then that's a different story.

I will never wear white nor red to a wedding though unless requested by the couple, just to be on the safe side and avoid conflict. But I also think that it's a little too demanding of the bride to mention what color she's wearing and to demand guests not to wear the same color.

In my country, the parents of the couple and primary sponsors usually wear something in the white color family.

If you'd rather NOT be ridiculed then DON'T do it. Unless of course the bride says you can wear whatever you want, or requests white. However, going by proper wedding etiquette, don't do it. If you're a selfish attention wh*re who couldn't care less about anyone else, then go for it -- I guarantee you'll get all the attention you deserve.

@ sonya Very to the point girl!

I think if the bride or groom asks specifically that no one wears those certain colors then it is okay. I personally think that if you have had sex then you shouldn't wear white. I don't see black as a funeral color. I don't care what anyone wears to my wedding as long as it doesn't look like my dress and it isn't too bright or too short.