Your friend has always had an insecure streak in the midst of large groups. She tends to become a different person, you assume as a way to compensate for her own fears that the real her just isn’t good enough. But lately she seems to be taking this to a new level.
At a recent party with a group of some of your other friends, you overhear her lying about what she does, where she lives, and where she went to college. She then proceeds to make up a completely phony story involving you. You’re shocked that she’d just blatantly lie to your friends and you think this should be addressed. It's going to be an awkward situation so how would you handle this?
Tamaris
My-Wardrobe.com
RED Valentino
Hello, my ex-boyfriend.
1I would ignore it at first, then I'd start saying "really? is that what really happened?"
OMG. This is my neighbor. She's very nice and me and my SO became pretty close to her and her husband when we moved into our new house 2 years ago. We hung out all the time and went a lot of places together. Our kids are the same age and get along great.
Last year a close family friend of mine moved next door to her (we live across the street). She also became friends with them. WELL, over the past 6 months or so, we (my close family friend) have come to realize, the neighbor CONSTANTLY lies. Whether it be about stupid stuff or serious stuff. We haven't figured out how to handle it yet. But we know she makes stuff up about all of us and tells the lies to the other parties. She has been caught out and out lying about things many times.
So if anyone actually has advice about how to handle this I would appreciate it. We have really backed off from them big time and the kids are starting to suffer from it.
2I would tell your friends that the story involving you isn't true. But if she wants to lie about herself, there's not much you can do.
3i'd call her on it in front of EVERYONE
4screw that
I SOOOO had a friend that did this. Not necessarily in front of me, but she would lie to get attention. For example, if she saw someone out at the bar that used to date one of our friends or something, she would create these elaborate stories to the guy or girl JUST to have them talk to her the rest of the night. She was constantly trying to get on people's good side and thought she had to give good gossip to do so....Problem was the gossip was all LIES. I completely stopped hanging out with her...
5I have a friend who does this all the time! I've confronted her about it, I let her know that shes insane and if shes going to telling lies involving me then she needs me to give a heads up.
This particular friend lies about her age (among other things). The first time she did it infront of me I had no idea what was going on. Someone asked her her age and she said 22 - I was like "ummm Hello, your 24!" she then said "Oh, yea - I forgot - yea Im 24." I later learn that she does that on the reguluar and sometimes messes up on her own lies.
It catches up with you.
6Aysh I know a girl like this, she's the typical geeky girl who wants to be accepted by the popular people ...so basically she's their dummy, does some of their homework, etc. and they let her into the group. Her whole existence is so sad, she just feels she needs to be part of the whole popular/wealthy/cool crowd, and basically those people hardly even know she exists.
7I once hooked up with a guy she liked and I didn't even know she liked him, but after that she just kept reminding me about it every single time she saw me, and then she went on to tell a few friend that she was dating him and that she had gone to the movies and dinner with him. The whole time this was happening the poor guy wasn't even in the country, he was in Mexico! And when he found out (because people kept asking or congratulating him on his new 'relationship') he was completely weirded out. When she realized he knew she had been saying stuff and he had been in mexico and people knew she was lying she turned her story around and made it seem like she was pissed at him for going out and telling everyone they were dating.
The list of weird things she lies about goes on and on...I feel sorry that she needs to pretend to be someone she's not just to feel accepted, when in the end she just embarasses herself.
I would gently confront her in front of my friends, and say nicely, "Sweetie, that's not true. You misremembered." I would probably touch her arm as a sign of goodwill.
And truthfully, after that experience, I would distance myelf from her. We wouldn't be friends anymore. Her pathelogical lying is a red flag. She's somewhat insane, as she disconnects from reality. To me, she spells trouble. I don't want troubled friendships.
8I had a friend come in from out of town and we were goofing around in Hollywood, and there was a press board in front of the restaurant we were going to for some big event so we were taking pictures in front of it to feel like movie stars (hehe). We were walking away and these guys (we both have boyfriends, but these were just nice guys, whatever) came up to us and was asking what we were doing there/what the event was. She was just like "Oh, well I'm a professional singer" (please, she sings at like, bar mitzvahs) and I was just going along with it to not call her out. Then they started talking to us more (like I said, they were nice, not hitting on us or anything) and she just grabbed my hand and was like, "um, well my FIANCE and I have to be going now, would you mind?"
I mean I don't care about the gay thing at all, but it was just so completely absurd it was embarrassing!
9Ha, this is like half the people in my office!
I would tell my friends outright in front of the girl that she must have her story wrong because I wasn't involved in that one.
10The friends will figure out the rest for themselves. No need to create a nasty situation.
People who lie all the time get caught and then no one believes anything they say, so I don't feel obligated to point it out to them.
I know someone who does this. I am at a loss of how to approach this individual. I have back away from our relationship and know anything this person says is not worth much.
11*backed
12She has issues - I'd just call her out and have a chat if she's your friend - not necessary a confrontation, but clearly she has issues.
Otherwise, I second Gooniette - liars get ignored/caught eventually so save some energy.
13That's actually a bit creepy to me.
14this describes a couple of friends I had back in high school.
15At first I'd stay silent, then I started to ask them "are you sure that is how it was?", and then at last I started to act naive and fight them "I believe you're in the wrong... it's technically impossible that this and this happened while you/ I were/was doing this and this..."
Lastly, I'd eventually call her out on it. Maybe. But anyway, all of our other friends knew the truth anyway... because she did it to them too!
Jackass!
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