As long as you know you still have feelings for your husband, I guess it's okay! And plus, you KNOW that you would never be able to get away with it. I'm gonna say forgive. Everyone has thoughts like that at least once, I think.

Well honestly I don't believe you can help who you are attracted to. But the fact that you say you would go through with it if you wouldn't get caught, that's unforgiveable.

Basically you are saying you want to cheat on your husband you just don't want to pay any consequences. How would you feel if you husband wanted to sleep with one of your friends and his only concern was you or her SO finding out?

Kristin said it better than I could have. If you actually felt guilty but accepted that you have normal feelings and would never do it- that is totally different but you are acknowledging that you would. Having thoughts are forgiveable but to say that you would cheat if you could get away with it?? NOT FORGIVE.

Even though they are just thoughts- how horrible would you feel if your husband had those thoughts about one of your friends? I would never be able to handle that - I think when you start having those thoughts, no matter how much you love your husband, someday you'll do something you regret that is unforgivable- I think people cheat because they are too afraid to leave the person they are with even though they aren't attracted to them anymore- this is a dangerous road and it always starts with an "innocent" thought . . . .NOT FORGIVE for me too!

I choose undecided. Every woman on this site, including myself, has had feelings of "if I could get away with it" ideas. The difference is coming fourth with this thought to your boyfriend AND acting on it. That's unforgiving part, (acting on it) which you haven't. I don't want you to feel guilty about these thoughts. Because when you do, you'll have the urge to tell him. Which is a bad idea.

If you said something like, "If my husband would allow it I would do it" (like in an open relationship) - then I think it's forgivable becausde... to each his own, ya know?

But, because you said you'd do it "if you could get away with it" (ie: behind his back) - I think that's pretty unforgivable.

WOW! I would forgive because life is too short but seriously?! If I were your husband I would get out now. Seriously this one blows my mind, aside from your marriage, you are wanting to do damage to another marriage! Like almost said everyone has had a feeling like this, but acting on it just because you'd never get caught.

Clarby, I didn't think about that! You're right. That would be ruining two marriages. I think I will still forgive, one: to stick with what I said and not go what everyone else said (LOL) and two: you KNOW you can't get away with it, so that means you won't, right?

Not forgive. You lack integrity and maturity.

It's ok to fantasize and want... just don't act on it!

cjmara, agreed. Exactly.

You know you'd never get away with it, so you'd never do it.
Provided it's just a THOUGHT and you are devoted to your husband then who cares?

O damn, She's married...lol I didn't read that part.. You nasty girl you! LOL just kidding babes.

I agree with Kristinh1012. Your statement is very selfish, Not Forgive.

Why did you get married in the first place then?

forgive

...what else could you do? you don't plan on who you desire. and you can't really change it, either. the best you can do is fake and suck ir up, but it doesn't change the truth.

I guess, f you are not doing it, then it's forgivable.
But I you actually do then yeah that's bad. lol.

Then again people don't listen, they do what they want. lol.

um... from a married womans point of view they are just thoughts but i think that sometimes all women do think about cheating. but as long as they stay just that its not bad.

Forgive- you will never get away with it, so you will never do it

I say not forgive because married or not ( although being married does make it slightly more worrisome) you aren't simply attracted to this man. I think people keep forgetting that there is a distinction between simply being attracted to another person and actually taking that to the level of thinking about cheating with that person. I know we can't help being attracted to other people, I mean we're human and people catch our eye sometimes, but dwelling on the thought and getting to the point where you would disrespect your relationship by considering acting on that feeling is pretty low. And I don't know how people can be willing to mess up their own relationships and someone else's. I'm sure if some woman wanted to sleep with your husband if she thought she could get away with it you wouldn't forgive her.

FORGIVE! They're just thoughts. But if you actually went through with it...whole different story!

I chose undecided and heres my reason why.
It's definitely forgivable to think about it - we all have our little fantasies.
Unforgivable (for lack of a better word) to act on it.

I agree with Kristinh1012 and bransugar79

If there is intent or follow through, unforgivable.
If there isn't intent or follow through, forgivable.
So really, the thoughts itself is forgivable. The decision to turn it into reality however is a separate thing itself.

Thats just bad.

As long as you don't act on it. Thoughts are just thoughts and our mind plays tricks on us. But honestly how would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot and your husband was saying I'd wanna have sex with someone else? Not so hot is it?

tough crowd...

if it's a thought, then forgivable. but actually going through it and you would be cheating, unforgivable! if you're not going to feel guilty, go ahead.. but not forgive

Okay, this is ridiculous. The only thing that stops a person from doing anything bad is the possibility of getting caught. Sure, some are morally upright, but...For the most part, if there wasn't a chance of a person getting caught committing murder, cheating on an exam, cheating on a person, or whatever, they would go through with it. It is exactly that fear of being caught that makes a person decide not to go through with it. Absolutely forgive! This is human nature, get over it!!

So why did you get married? It doesn't seem like you have a solid idea of what commitment means, same with what cheating means. That is mental cheating in my books. That is behaviour that I could never condone for myself, or for anyone else. Great, you don't want to get caught and hurt people... but you don't seem to have a single shred of respect for your husband or his friend's wife. If you had respect for them, you would never even consider any of this. Presumably your husband trusts you... how sad it is that you have misled him like that. Harsh? Perhaps, but maybe getting married wasn't the right thing for you; it needs a rock solid base of love, trust, respect, and much more... many aspects of which seem to be lacking on your side of things.

unforgivable. its totally wrong. whats with that line 'I want to have sex with my husband's married best friend'? huh? so if he wasnt married it would make a difference? no it wouldnt. because hes ure husband's BEST FRIEND. thats bad enough. worse, hes married. worst, YOU are married and ure fantasizing other men. i would never wish a wife like u upon anyone.

i wish it was me she wanted. that would be awesome!!