A "Dear John" letter is the quintessential breakup tool if you can’t bear to say goodbye to someone’s face, or at least it used to be back when people wrote letters. With so many outlets for communication these days, if you’re going to back out of the direct breakup, it might just be easier to get him on the phone. But letters and well-written emails can actually be a great way to say what you really want to say to someone. So I wonder, have you ever written a letter to end a relationship?
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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Written a Dear John Letter?
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I haven't written a Dear John letter to end a relationship, but I definitely write letters, well now I use e-mail, to express my feelings sometimes to significant others. I feel like if I try to talk on the phone or in person I get all tongue-tied and nervous and nothing comes out the way I want it to, so writing it out helps. Even if I don't send the e-mail, it still helps me to write down everything I want to say before talking to the person and using that as a sort of guide.
1The only person I would have done that to, I figured he was too dumb to read and comprehend the letter anyway, so I ended up doing it in person after all.
2I did it once about 4 yrs. ago.I believe he still has the letter.
3I cannot say I would not write a letter or an email, but I have never broken a relationship in this way.
I admit that I snarled at the "who writes letters anymore" option.
4I sent a break up email to a boyfriend I was living with bc he stopped coming home and I wanted to get it over with. he didnt have a cell phone and I figured he would get the email before I would see him again in person. I was so tired of him and his behavior and talking to him wasnt working anymore- he was doing drugs and drinking heavily, so I sent the email and layed it all out for him so there was no misunderstanding. It was a relief to send it.
5A really good friend of ours just got his heart broken this way recently. He had been dating an older woman for over a year and 1/2. One night he went to her house and there was a TYPED letter taped to her door for him. I felt so bad for him. He was really upset.
6I've written an email, because the whole thing was long-distance, and wasn't exactly a serious "relationship"anyway.
7I texted someone to tell him I didn't want to hang out with him. In my defense! We were only seeing each other for a month or so and we never talked on the phone. He lived an hour away, so saw each other once a week. He was boring anyway...he was pretty pissed, so I called to apologize. oh well...at least its not a post it note...? hehehehe
8I've done it a couple times, but it's a punk b*tch move so i don't do it anymore.
9I've had it done to me! It really sucked...even worst that he was trying to be so logical and nice about it. If I ever see him again....
I found out later he was engaged. Geeze.
10I've done it by email (I express myself better in writing, and it wasn't really a serious relationship yet, anyway).
Incidentally, the guy's name was John.
11never have but wish i had sent one to my ex husband before we divorced, yeah yeah i know im being spiteful but i dont care
12OMG, looseal, I didn't even think if it but our friends name is JOHN too that had the letter TYPED to him. We don't EVER call him john, we call him taco.......don't ask why, it's been so long, I couldn't even tell you.
13i did the email thing. i was seeing the guy for a couple of weeks he was living 2 1/2 away. we saw each other once a week, maybe.
14That is horrible and really tacky. Tell the guy to his face.
15No, I can't imagine being in an intimate loving relationship with someone, and then, when it ends, having it end via a letter. I love writing letters, but they are meant for romance, not bad news.
16Nope. It's cowardly.
173 years ago I broke up with my douchebag ex-boyfriend via a message on facebook. I figured it was only appropriate, since in the entirety of our 6 month "relationship" that's how he chose to communicate with me (whenever he felt like it, that is).
18I'm a big writer and will write people and express things to them in that way. But when it comes to breaking up with someone, I'm old school and do it face to face. I think that's called respect.
19Yes, but it was actually to end a friendship with a girl, not to break off a relationship...I regret it to this day and hate that I didn't have the guts to just talk with her face-to-face.
20I don't have much experience dating people, but the first time my current boyfriend broke up with me, he sent it in an e-mail. Imagine how appalled I was to come home after 16 hours on campus, sitting through an hour and a half of traffic, starving, then get a break-up e-mail. I would never do that to someone. They deserve the truth in person!
21Breaking up in person is the only way to go..
22I just did 2 days ago.
We were having problems. I can't get him to sit still to talk to him. He was too busy to pick up the phone... It's not that he was dating another woman -- he is just a very selfish man. Everything is on 'his' time...usually.
I left him a voice-mail to call me back (and I did blow off some frustration, I'll be honest).
I got fed up and just said, "F*ck it. I'm so sick of this crap!"
Then I just wrote him a lengthy email -- and it was actually a pleasant. I was honest in my reasoning. There was no name-calling or nastiness.
Sure it's cold and impersonal. I'm so annoyed with him that I just don't care... I'm not sure that he even has feelings to hurt.
We were together for almost 2 years, btw. And you may say, 'don't you owe him more than that?"
Believe me, I TRIED!
By the end, I just wanted it to be over. I couldn't wait until HE decided when the time would be.
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