You're reaching a point in your relationship where you each decide how much you respect the other person's opinions, feelings, wants and needs. 3 years in long-distance is too long, and it's not healthy for any relationship. Remember that he has his life and you have yours, and you may be growing apart. You need to come to terms with how he likes to spend his time. Otherwise, move on.

It sounds like you are trying to mother him or control him.

It's really hard to go from long-distance to living with someone. It's very, very different and going through an adjustment phase is to be expected. You need to talk some of this through with him and see if it improves.

If it doesn't improve, it probably means this relationship isn't going to last. Ultimately, you have to like living with a person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

I've had a long distance relationship for over a year now. I'm not sure how "long distance" it really is.. but let's just say we only see each other about 3 times a month. So, I know where you're coming from. I've occasionally done the mothering thing and I have found myself flipping out over dumb things. Long distance is pretty trying but I think once you just take a moment to chill out, think things through, and confront him about it; things will be okay.

You don't want to be so negative all the time, I get that. I think that the situation is fixable with a long talk, some quality time together and some relaxation time on your own. You just need to learn to accept what he does with his time, and let him accept what you do. If you are not able to do that however, it's probably best to end it. You don't want to be with someone you can't deal with.

Go to my profile, look at my pictures of the "Cheat Sheet"

I was doing relatively the same thing. The "Cheat Sheet" saved my relationship.

Good luck!

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

I'm not proud of it, but I totally know what you mean. I go through this a lot. I'm naturally very possessive- not just of my boyfriend, but of everything I like and care about.

I too feel upset when my guy does something dangerous despite my opinion. But you have to realize that he is a separate being, and while you may not make all the same decisions as him, you still have to respect him.

It's a lot easier for me to coolly let my guy go out if I'm occupied as well. Whether it be purposely making dates with my girlfriends to be out while he is out or buying a new book just to read for the day, keep your mind on something else so you don't feel the need to hang onto him.

Being clingy and slightly controlling may be sweet, but only if you are able to give him leash as well when you know he's perfectly trustworthy. Seriously, what do you think he's doing if you can call him anytime and he'll pick up and you'll hear his best guy friend saying hi to you in the background?

He loves you for a reason- and he'll want to come back to you soon enough.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you

You received some excellent advice.

At some point, I think you're going to learn that you cannot control another person, even if you mean well. If you try to, you're going to fail because the other person thinks and feels for himself. He doesn't need you to do that for him. Typically, a man is not going to substitute your judgement for his, even if you're right.

However, I understand your concern, as my husband is foolhardy like that, too. You did your job by warning him. The rest is up to him. If he doesn't get it, let him continue to skate downhill. LET HIM LEARN. Just have your first-aid kit ready. Also, locate the closest emergency room in case you need to take him there.

I think you've gotten some great advice here. You say that you know you're blowing things out of proportion and can't help it - you need to learn to pick your battles if your relationship is going to work in the long term. When I'm in a crabby moon I know I have a tendency to be nitpicky and get mad about things I would otherwise brush off, and when I get this way I know I need to make a conscious effort not to overreact. Recognizing that you're blowing things out of proportion is the first step, but you also need to make a conscious effort not to do so. Whenever he does something that angers you, slow down for a moment and say "am I really mad about this? is it worth it? why am i mad about it?" If anything, maybe you'll identify some patterns to explain why you've been getting so angry in the first place.

On a totally unrelated note - come on Dear, can't you at least edit these things before you put them up??? I'm sure none of the group therapy authors would mind you cleaning up their spelling and grammar.

I'm not sure whether this is a new town or old town you are living, but perhaps you need some of your own friends and hobbies there. It can get tiring to live with someone especially if they are the only ones to hang out with, and they go out with their friends.

Did he do this downhill thing before you two lived together? Do you do anything that he doesn't approve of but merely accepts?

Just take a step back and breathe. How much does it matter in the grand scheme of things. Are you angry because you didn't 'win' the argument or does it acutally effect you or relationship a lot. Is this fight worth it? Pick your battles hun...because you are two different people coming together and you will ahve differences..

How much does him skating downhill (and other little issues) matter to you? Enough to ruin your relationship? Think about that next time you want to flip out on him.

That is what happens when you move in together. You see all the things they do first hand and you feel like it's all happening at once and it's a little overwhelming. If you know you're overreacting than you need to work on it. It should pass but not without some work. Stop yourself when you start ranting and just say "I'm sorry I just don't want you to get hurt when you're skating down hill" or whatever is appropriate in the situation.