I swore for years that I would only get married in December, and now I am having a May wedding. I wanted a tight, mermaid dress but that will not be appropriate with my venue and time of year, so I am going for something sweeter and more romantic than dramatic and sexy. So keep on loving your dream dress, and you can certainly feel betrayed by your friend. I wouldn't say anything, just keep in mind what kind of friend she has been. I promise you find a dress that you love just as much, if not more when it is your turn down the aisle!

You can pretty much just learn your lesson and feel flattered that she liked your dress so much. it probably is taking a lot of stress off of her knowing that it's a beautiful dress that's now there, and that her close friend is so fond of it as well. Learn your lesson though and keep some things to yourself until you get there (like dream homes, vacations, even bargain deals and baby names!).

But let her have it and just be happy for her. you'll find one that's right when the time is right for you.

hahah i would act the same way too. so many times i have showed friends a hot new dress or top i wanted and BAM! right after i bought it they have it in a different color or EVEN GOT IT BEFORE ME! and this my darling... is why i know longer share my fashion jackpot with my friends. haha

If you were engaged and that was the dress you were going to purchase, then thats a different story.

However, between now and when you do get married, so many things can change. Your hubby might not like the style, you decide to get married on the beach, or in a religious ceremony that dictates covered shoulders, etc.

Speaking from personal experience, I thought I found THE DRESS in a magazine. I went to the store and was SO excited about trying it on- it looked terrible! Granted two dresses later I did find THE DRESS, but it was disappointing. Im happy about it now though, what I saw in the magazine was very trendy and what I ended up with was more vintage high fashion- something that I could see a future daughter wanting to wear. I also had a friend that was SO blinded by the "I want THIS dress" that she didnt see that it was not flattering on her at all- there was no changing her mind though.

This is the sort of info, like baby names and your dream engagement ring, that you keep to yourself so that your friends dont decide that its also their perfect thing. But youre out of luck, its like claiming a baby name when you arent even in a relationship and dont plan on having children for years. Your taste will probably change before you get married anyway. You are definitely within your right to tell your friend that it bothers you that she wants your dream dress, but if she picks it anyway, suck it up let it go and tell yourself that if you still want it when YOU are getting married that you will look better in it anyway

I'd be pretty pissed. I'd show her something else, and say that it would look fantastic on her, make her look unique, classy, chic, and thin ; )

You already sound like a crazy bridezilla and your not eve ENGAGED! haha Let her wear the dress. Who cares. Maybe you will find one even better when you get married and you can poo poo all over the old one you 'thought' was perfect.

I know it sucks but really- it is a dress. Anything can happen in a few years when you DO get married. And honestly- if you wear the same dress- will anyone REALLY notice? You both have different body types -and I am sure the dress will be tailored to your specific tastes and body anyway.

I'm sorry, childish, petty, whatever, that would piss me off. I hate when my friends do stuff like that. I've learned not to tell anyone things I like or am planning on buying. I have a lot of women around me that do this type of thing to me CONSTANTLY. One is a neighbor and she is actually starting to look like me. Makes me want to beat her at times.

Then I realized that she's just a sad person with no style of her own what so ever.

This reminds me of that episode of The Office with Phyllis' wedding, where Pam realised the ENTIRE wedding is based on the plans she made for her (then called-off) wedding to Roy.

get over yourself. maybe you shouldn't have told her. or maybe the dress will look horrible on you. either way, you sound really immature for getting so mad about it.

Don't say anything. Make the dress will look bad on her and she won't get it, or maybe it will look bad on you and it's a moot point. I fell in love with a picture of a dress and then when I tried it on, it looked AWFUL on me. it's not worth fighting over, since it's doesn't appear that you've both even had the dress on.

i'm glad everyone agrees with my initial response. don't tell her you're upset or anything about the dress, but perhaps you could keep future "my favorite" things to yourself.

and don't worry about your "the dress" until you need one!!

I wouldn't worry over it at all. Neither of you have tried on the dress from the sounds of it, and it may not look good on either of you. When you do get married you may not even feel the same way about it by then. It will depend on the location, time of day, and type of wedding. I wouldn't worry about a dress before I even got a potential groom.

You will find another dress. Simple as that. If she doesn't wind up getting it, then you still have your dream dress. However, it's true that what you see in the mag's won't fit you well or will not be what you expected when you try it on. So be open to new options!

I don't think I'd be even remotely interested in wedding dresses if I wasn't engaged. And what if your size changes or something between now and when you get married? Or your tastes?

This reminds me strongly of that episode of 30 Rock where Tina Fey buys a wedding dress.

I didnt know my dress was "the dress" until I tried a bunch of them on. Keeping things privately is a great way to not have others steal your ideas... Let her have it... Im sure there are many great dresses in store for you... when your time comes...

this happened to me sort of, but for prom not for a wedding that may or may not even happen. i was dres shopping with a friend and i described to her my perfect ideal dress. she found exactly what i described in a store we went to and brought it to me. i thought it was so i could try it on, but then she said "im getting this." i was upset. In the end, i got it anyway, and she got something else. anyway.. in that case, we couldnt have both had it because it was the same event. your wedding, if it happens, is probably not going to be even the same year. you will probably find something different and if you dont, who cares? its years away most likely.

Get over it - you're not even engaged??!?!?!

I've already planned my wedding and I'm not even dating anyone. I've showed everyone my plans so they all know its mine! I would kick someone if they took my wedding plans or my children names.

This is sorta like stealing a baby name, which happened to my friend. I say, you should try to help your friend, no doubt, but I would just keep my perfect dress to myself just to avoid this kind of a situation.

I think you are being incredibly immature. It would be one thing if you were planning a wedding but you said yourself you are not even engaged. What on earth would you say? I am trying to imagine the conversation and it makes me laugh. Grow up and get over it. We all have a vision of what we want our wedding to be and mine has changed dramatically over the years.

Hey anyone remember that SATC episode where that "friend" of Charlotte's stole her baby name (stella)??? HAHA- this is reminding me of that. I mean I felt bad for Charlotte but I also thought "seriously...it is not a big deal...get OVER it."

I suppose I would be a tinge bit annoyed- but this doesnt seem like something to be so upset over (especially not to the length of saying like the OP said- "betrayed" - betrayed is when your friend steals your man...not your dress).

seinfeld... the episode where george lets the name "seven" slip hahaha

I, too, would be upset about this if it happened to me. But while the dress may look pretty, there's a really good chance it will look way different on you. When you do get engaged, you'll find your real "dream" dress as soon as you start trying them on. Don't worry about it. Just be happy that your friend looks good on her wedding day. And wedding dresses are all fairly alike, no one's saying you can't get one that's similar!

Let her have her shine on with that wedding dress. Don't hate!

Let her have her shine on with that wedding dress. Don't hate!

Imitation is a best form of flattery. Let it go.

geebers---its was "shayla" LOOOL
girl, ur not even engaged
from now until u do im sure there will be more amazing dresses out there
i had a "dream" dress in mind and ended up falling in love with one that i would initially never think of.
i miss my dress i wanna wear it again
oh yea....so be happy for her...but i'd probably pipe in somewhere along the line "u do know u stole my wedding dress, right" kinda like a joke but not a joke

Sorry but I might be a little annoyed about someone picking the same thing I picked and I think some responses are kind of rude. If I ever get married though, I might not pick a bridal dress in the first place though since being in a bridal store makes me feel bored out of my mind. But like other people said it might not even seem that great when you actually try it on and you might find a dress you like more later. Just don't tell anyone about it.

dear...just tell her how flattered you are the she chose the dress YOU suggested...make a huge deal about how she FOLLOWED YOUR ADVICE...she will drop it in a second...no selfish bride wants to be told what to do...and no selfish bride wants anybody else "stealing" the spotlight.

Keep in mind tho...when the time comes...that dress might not be "the" dress for you.

I have never been into the -You cant get it if I have one- thing. who cares? all of my friends take each other style and incorporate into there own. that's how the world works.

If you still like the dress when its your time to get hitch.... just get it!

trust me when I say, no one at your wedding will think "oh my gosh... Sara had that same dress 4 years ago" I mean really.....

@likethoseshoes: i was gonna say the same thing!

if you're gonna be that much of a bridezilla, you never should have shown the dress to your friend. people take other people's ideas all the time. hope you learned your lesson! cause you can't 'claim' a dress if you aren't even engaged.

My sister is like you are. If I happen to have the same song as her on my iPod she makes a big deal about me stealing her music. Or she claims green was her favorite color first, stupid things like that. I'm not going to not have/do certain things just because she does them too. That's silly.

It's so annoying and immature.

Besides, that dress might not even still be available when you get married...or it might be out of style...or maybe your taste will change. You just never know.

Let her enjoy her dress.

That's why I keep things like this to myself!

I smell immaturity. Grow up and take into consideration there are new wedding dresses every season. You might find something better later on.

I have a lot of things that my friends have, or borrow things from them, or borrow other things to them.

This happens mostly with music, and it's actually good a good thing because you can share cds, info, etc. last year, I showed a band to a friend by november, and the 1st of march we went to their concert together, if it weren't for her, I would have had to go alone!

So to me, it's actually a good thing... really! I mean, maybe in certain aspects it can get on your nerves a bit, but you manage that like a grown up and get over yourself! I mean... who thinks they're really that awesome so that other people want to be like them? (except maybe celebrities, in which case it can be true) That's so vain and totally not admirable! I wouldn't want to be like someone like that!

lol im 16 and im already looking for mine! lol

I know the feeling. Hell, once I told a "friend" what mascara I wanted to buy, and she bought it the same damn day, and rubbed it in my face because I had to buy a cheaper, no name mascara. How childish can you get? She's also the same person that took two of my shirts out of my bag when I went to her house, and she had pics up on her myspace wearing her "new shirts" - I had to call her mum, and her mum found them both hidden, and she both of them back to my house [the "friend" said she only had ONE of my tops...hmph].

Dude, if you don't want people taking your "thing," [or your f*cking clothes without asking] then don't share it with the world. But in your situation, let it go. You'll find another dress that will be even MORE stunning. Don't sweat it!

@sarahPuffy: uh, i can't tell what brand of mascara someone is wearing! why couldn't you two just get the same kind of mascara? that seems kinda childish to care about something as unnoticeable as that. along with the immaturity of calling your friend's mother to get a shirt back.

/just sayin'

Hey Girl!
As a newly engaged gal (he proposed on the 4th of July!) I will say, don't stress over this. Seriously if you both like the same dress, whatever!! Trust me I have changed my mind tons of times on what kind of dress I want, and now that I'm engaged I have a new "dream dress". And I'm sure when I go dress browsing it will change again.
I could almost guarantee that you're going to change your mind over and over again-all my girlfriends did!
Just let your friend be an idiot and claim the dress..seriously the chances of you still loving that dress by the time you get engaged are pretty slim. And if you do both end up wearing the same dress-your wedding will be way after hers, and most people won't even remember that you wore the same. And you could always change up the accessories and style it differently.
Think about it-if Carrie and Charlotte wore the same dress on 2 separate occasions, would it look exactly the same? I think not..
Good luck and let your girlfriend be ridiculous. Trust me being engaged is the greatest feeling in the world, be a good friend and let her have her moment.

I was sixteen sixteen years ago. Do you know how much styles have changed since then?

Eh, your friend choosing the dress you love is a non-issue. If she chose the GUY you love, that's a different story.

Advising someone that they can wear their friend's wedding dress at their own wedding is ridiculous. It's a once-in-a-lifetime dress -- who would want to show up in something that their friend has already worn?

You guys are being rather harsh. She asked whether or not she was being ridiculous, you don't have to hit her over the head. I, for one, think that her friend was beat up. A wedding dress is a huge deal. I would be mad and I'm not even into weddings that much.

It's a dress, wear a different one at your wedding.

Don't ruin your friend's wedding by claiming the dress- you don't want that to come back to you when it's your turn- how would you feel in her shoes? Plus is it weird (from an about to be bride's perspective ..) for you to pick a dress before you are even engaged!!!!!!!!!

A few dress suggestions from my experience for when you are at that point
1) How a dress looks online isn't how it will look in the store or on you
2) You don't know it's the dress when you SEE it- you know it's the one when you TRY IT ON

I am always shocked by women who have planned "their" wedding when they aren't even dating anyone. Isn't the wedding about BOTH people? Obviously the dress is up to the bride, but it usually complements (or dictates) the rest of the wedding - which should be based on mutual decisions made by the bride and groom. If I was a man and found out a woman had already planned my wedding day without taking anything I wanted into consideration I would be freaked - and upset. It's one thing to dream, but it's another thing to not even consider your groom's plans.

Bridezillas freak me out.

Also, who are all these people who are pissed at their friends for buying the same or similar stuff? That's so weird...Who care? Worst thing that can happen is that you wear it on the same day, which would probably be funny and a great conversation starter.

Also, within in several basic styles and shapes, aren't all wedding dresses pretty much the same anyway? I could probably go to two weddings two weekends in a row, and not notice the brides were wearing the same dress if it was within the "standard set" of bridal gown styles.

lol jkat- "but I found THE dress I've been dreaming about since I was five...it's off-white, strapless, it's very modern and has clean lines, but there is some subtle beading. It's PERFECT and there is no other dress like it ANYWHERE."

Do yourself a favor, and don't ruin the experience of finally getting to try on and pick out a dress until it's time. It's so much fun, when you have an open mind and are willing to try on different things. They all look different on than in the ads and you really don't know until you try. You will know the one when you have it on. Wait and then you can really enjoy it.