I'd tell her to go for it.

I'd tell her it's okay. What good would it do not to?

Definitely let her go for it! Your crush is going to suddenly like you because the girl he really likes isn't responding to him.

This way, you would be making 2 out of 3 people happy, instead of right now when no one is really satisfied. Plus, your friend may eventually resent you for preventing her from exploring the relationship.

You can't stop them, no matter what you say, so you might as well save face and pretend to be okay with it. It sucks, though. I tend to attract female friends who love to pull stunts like this, and it's really a crappy thing for a "friend" to do.

I totally agree with Stacey Cakes. I don't think it's anyone's fault, and your friend was respectful of your feelings from the start. Hey, he decided, and you'll get over it eventually.

id pretend im totally ok with it, even though id be pretty bummed. its all about saving face and not looking desperate

Oh man... dealt with this more than once. I always seem to be the odd man out, whatever. It's a total ego-killer, but who wants to be with someone that likes someone else more, not me. So even though you're completely bummed/hurt/sad... you have to let it go and say it's ok.

So how come when people write for advice on this topic, the majority of comments say it's off limits to date someone your friend has a crush on? Now everyone thinks it's ok? I've seen quite a few letters where the friend says it's ok with them and most of the comments say it's probably not really ok with the friend so don't do it. Interesting.

how would it be in my power to prevent 2 people who like each other from being together?

yes, my feelings would get a little bit hurt at first, but I'd grow past it eventually... plus, he's not going to like me any better when I'm the reason why the girl he wants is not with him!

Plus, with time I'm sure I'd be seeing more as a friend, given that he would probably hang around as my friend's boyfriend, and my crush would fade away (my crushes on people tend to "wear out" when I suddenly become too close to the person in a friendly way. I stop seeing them as potential lovers, but maybe that's just me).

how would it exactly be in my power to prevent two grown up people who like each other from being together?

Sure, my feelings would get a little bit hurt at first, but with time I would grow out of that. Plus, how could he like me any better when I'm the reason why the girl he wants is not with him?

Besides that, having him hanging around as my friend's boyfriend would make me see him more as a friend, and my crush for him would eventually fade away. (my crushes on people tend to "wear out" once I become too familiar with them in a friendly way, I stop seeing them as potential lovers.)

Maybe that's just me though.

everyone deserves happiness. its not your chance right now. and maybe he didn't deserve you. so, move on. be happy for you friend and even though one door closes there is always another open.

let her have it. I want my friend to be happy.

I can also think of something that would make this a lot more difficult. If she was the girl who always gets the guys. Resentment would definitely make it harder to get over.

HayleyStark - I think when posters are against it- it usually is because the question is from the other side. If I liked my friend's crush -obviously advice would be to stay away even if she claimed to be OK. This Handle This question is for what I would do - so I would have to let my ego and bruised heart slide and let them be happy together. I want the best for my friends and if I knew they liked each other I would feel terrible knowing that I am the reason they stayed apart. Of course, if the tables were turned and I liked my friend's crush -even if she said OK - I would wait until I was 100% certain she was over him or at the very least- not hang out with him in front of her.

try to get over him while letting them hook up

Let her have him. He's not into you but your friend might have a chance of happiness. Its not worth fighting your friend for a guy.

I'd wish them well.

I met my husband when my roommate in college brought him home because she had a crush on him. We have two kids and have been together happily for 12 years. Why would anybody stand in the way of that for a friend they say they care about?

HayleyStark I think Geebers is right, if I was in this situation I would tell my bf to go for it but I can almost guarantee that she wouldn't because she wouldn't want to hurt me. The same applies vice versa and if she told me she was fine with me dating HER crush I still wouldn't but I'd appreciate her offering. I guess it's all about understanding each other well

Been there, done that.

There wasn't really much I could do about it. My friend and my crush were going to be together, regardless of what I thought or said. It was on *me* to deal with it. Fortunately, I found other things in life that were much more meaningful to occupy myself. It's a good thing I did...

Now, 6 years later, I am SO glad that she jumped for it and he didn't like me. Turns out the guy is a total narcissist (Seriously, no joke! he fits ALL the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder to a T; we've looked it up in the DSM), and made her feel awful all the time. Only she could have put up with such horribleness for so long [he would have been *dead* if he had dated me] - and we've become closer friends, actually, BECAUSE of him [we are united in our intolerance of this guy].

The moral of the story/advice: let your friend jump for it, even if you still like him. You will gain *nothing* and lose EVERYTHING if you try to stop them. They were meant to meet in life, let it be. Maybe a few years down the road, you'll thank the heavens above it WASN'T you - or at least, it wasn't you then. Something better could stop by! Also, it's not worth losing a good friend over. That's my two cents.

You've got to say you're cool with it and allow them to be together. Even if you're not okay with it, they'll probably do it anyway. All resisting will do is guarantee that you're left out of their lives for as long as the relationship lasts.

I've been the person two friends liked. I started dating one before the other broke the news to me and it was utter hell because my bf and I felt guilty and selfish. Trust me, just allowing them to be happy is the best thing you can do for everyone involved.

i honestly never liked a guy my friend did, and vice versa (being that they never told me).

so i honestly don't know what to say.

i say it's greesy.

if this were middle school, i say b*tches should call dibs. if the guy doesn't like you, then he's a jerk, and we move on to the next cute guy. we try to pretend like we're much more mature than 13 year olds, but it's not true.

b*tches get just as jealous.

like i said, it's greesy.

lol. y'all be sitting here saying "don't stop someone's happiness", as though they're gonna get married.

it's cute ...but honestly, what are the chances they'll be together after 3 months of hot sex, ego trips, and trusts issues???

would you really want to be with someone who likes someone else more? you deserve someone who has eyes for you and only you.

let them date. and move on to someone else.

If this guy knows that you like him and he likes another woman he's not going to be with you so you might as well "let her" go out with him.