Uh... I got my boyfriend to help me with this one.

He says "If the sex is good, there's no reason to compare. I never compare my new parters with the last partners because every girl is different and exciting! New body shape, new pom pom size, new noises, new moves etc etc. Sex is just so good it's hard to be bad, ever."

So, coming straight from a guy who has had his share of partners... I'd say you have nothing to worry about.

Also, it's pretty hard for a woman to be bad in bed. Some guide rules: Move. Dont just lie there. Move! Lift your bum to meet his thrusts, run your hands all over his body, wrap your legs around him or lift them higher so it goes deeper... theres nothing really wrong a woman can do as long as you're not hurting him.. or yourself.

I dont think you have anything to worry about.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

You're not ready to sleep with this guy. Has he been tested lately for STDs? You know most guys have NO symptoms. Make him get tested before you sleep with him again.

Your gut's telling you this isn't right - so don't force it. You need to wait a long time to make sure he's committed to you and sees the possibility of a relationship, since that's clearly what you want. If he really likes you, he'll have no problem talking about these things, seeing the doctor and waiting till you're ready.

its never a good idea to know "the number"
if u didnt know , ud be having a good time
but i agree with luisamapacha....he should get tested

First of all, I agree with Luisa. I think that you need to insist that he get tested, because there are things like HPV and herpes that can have no symptoms, and you can still get even if he wears condomns,(from areas of the skin not covered by the condomn) so please keep that in mind, and make your own health the # 1 priority. The fact that he has been with so many people just dramatically increases his chances of having something, especially when you consider that 1 in 4 people have herpes now.
Just to let you know, that to get tested for these two things will cost him money, I am not sure exactly how much. As for his experience, I wouldn't worry about it. It is very likely that many of the times he has had sex were either short term flings or one night stands. So if you were in long term relationships, it could actually be possible that you have had sex more times than he has. The number doesn't really mean that much, what is more important (I think) is the sexual/emotional connection that you two feel for each other. It is important to be honest with your partner. If you can have sex with him, then you should also be able to talk about your feelings with him. If I were you, I would stop having sex with him for now, and tell him why. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel. If he is a loving, caring partner he will be the one to make you feel better and ease your anxieties about this. Also, I agree with Fallen85. It is pretty tough for a woman to be bad in bed unless she smells bad down there or is a 'dead lay' and just lies there (which actually is still pretty good in a guys mind because at least he's getting laid). If you are neither of these two things, then you have nothing to worry about. Communicate your feelings with your partner!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30 women?!

That's... quite a lot. Why is the number so high? Does he tend to move from one woman to the next? Alarm bells would go off in my head too. I would also want a clean STD test presented by him before he went near me!

Your insecurities are justified... but stay safe first.

safety is always key. that aside i agree with Fallen. also remember, there is a reason he's not still sleeping with one of the other girls and it has nothing to do with how bad or good they were in bed- it has to do with liking them and having a connection. and it sounds like you have a connection, therefore he should be very into having sex with you- and is probably not even thinking of partners past. so loosen up and have fun with it and you'll be fine!

I don't see the big deal about the number among other commenters. He's an older man, so he's bound to be experienced. I don't get it...

Anyways. He's with you for a reason, and I'm sure that when he's with you - sexually or otherwise - women of the past are the last thing on his mind. Talk to him about it - at this rate, the only person that can ease your fears is your Beau!

I've been with too many men to count, and my boyfriend's been with only 3 girls (me included). And he's the ABSOLUTE MOST AMAZING MIND BLOWING sex partner I've ever had. I mean, OUT OF THIS WORLD.

And I have a theory about that -

pay attention, this is very important:

he's very good in bed because he's had long-term relationships, and that's where you develop enough intimacy and comfort and appreciation for the other's body to REALLY LEARN IT. So, please, get over it - you're probably much more attentive and detail-oriented (which is awfully important, a lot more than being good at "gymnastics" or than accomplishing incredible feats of gory sex) than a lot of his ex-partners.

It's really easy to go out and hump - and put your legs up in the air and look like a total slut when you're going down on him; but that's not what he's going to expect and want from you. That's just NOT good sex. Don't think about exotic developed technique or whatever - just be yourself, and enjoy it. It's very important, and that's what makes great sex - when you're enjoying what you're doing, when you like touching the guy you're in love with, and your attention is fully onto him.

Also, some men won't admit to it, but when they do open up they confess that sex is a million times better with someone they care about than with a passing fling. It's about the emotional content of the act, not about the crazy position. So if he cares about you, he'll love it! Sex is about chemistry, you know - so you could be a total sex bomb and it would not work because you guys aren't compatible. And you could be a virgin and the feeling is so THERE that his mind is blown. Just have no expectations, feel comfortable with yourself, put the emphasis on your feelings for him and how sweet what you're doing is, and don't push yourself.

Don't hesitate to mention your concerns to him; I'm sure he'll reassure you, and as Sarah said, he's not going to be thinking about his exes - he's going to be thrilled to be with you - NAKED. Yoohoo! It's touching, too, that you're not too sure of yourself; I'm sure he'll find it endearing and be very gentle.

And finally, 30? Please, that's really not that many either. And it's certainly not a certificate for being a great lay. I was with a few guys who were total wh*res and had sex with hundreds of women and they couldn't do anything else than pump away into the night. Who wants THAT?

Good luck and have fun!

Being almost 30 doesn't make sleeping with 30 women ok; 30 is a lot of women to be screwing around with. And from what I see, "almost 30" can also mean he is 27 or 28 and that is still A LOT of women. I think you need to get him to get tested for STDs. And, if you're worried how you're going to perform, you're not ready. Sex is about being in the moment and you'll forget about your insecurities once it happens. Just enjoy yourself and he will too.

Wow great advise!!!

Just to share some of my exp. My bf has slept with MANY girls as well. Altho my problem wasn't me being insecure but I had alot of questions/concerns. I think the best way is to communicate, if the guy really cares and wants to be with you for the long run, he will not run away from your questions and adress all your concerns. It's actually a good way to figure out his true intension.

Also, experiences do matter - so, I say lucky you, you no longer need to train him hehehe...

Hey don't be insecure. please yourself.

karlotta --- pump away into the night --- LOL!!!

Because he's with you and not them.

My bf's number was 60! I just about fell out of my chair when he told me that. But he is the best guy in the world, and we have been together for 3 years now. I'm very glad I managed to overcome my insecurities and move on as we now have a very good relationship. I used to be very jealous, to the point of destruction, but I know my boyfriend is very devoted to me, and I trust him more than any other past boyfriend. I never, ever worry that he will cheat on me. I'm more at risk as I haven't been with that many guys and I easily flattered by attention. But that said, I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend of course!

But my advice would be to not ask questions you don't want the answer to. In the long run the details are not important.

My bf had a high number too but it didn't matter to me, even though my number of partners was 1/3 of his. If it will bring you peace of mind, maybe having him tested is a good idea. Otherwise, you just need to relax and let things happen, and don't over-think it because that's one good way to kill the passion.

If you're insecure about your bedroom skills, there are books out to help guide you. The comments of, if he hasn't said you're not as good as the others, then don't worry about it. Talk about what turns each of you on and what you like. Those conversations could be a huge turn on. For me, I get turned on mentally, as well as physically.

Also, both of you should get tested. But if you've already had sex without protection, then you will definitely want to get tested. Don't sweat the being good in bed. Check out books and the internet.

Thats why you should never know your significant others number To be honest though, I used to worry about this with my boyfriend as well, and I eventually just started to pretend like I was the best he has ever had. I think it helps to gain some confidence.

in response to Janine22, ive heard there is no way to test for hpv for men
and I agree with tidalwave, if he's with you, he's not with them. sometimes we are way too harsh on ourselves, obsessing about things that other people don't even notice, until you put a lot of emphasis on it because of your insecurity. this kinda fear probably makes you really self-conscious and freeze-up, and then of course sex won't be good at all. sex is a lot more than technique as it is an act of love. as with anything that you want to come out good, you gotta do it with love. you can probably learn too: look at it as a challenge! a learning experience. you might be "inexperienced", so take it as an opportunity to learn.

30? 60? I couldn't get over that. I'm not saying it's wrong. It's just something that would be wrong for me.

I agree w/ Luisa that you clearly aren't ready to sleep with this guy. It's just not good if you shake every time you are ready to get intimate with someone.

karlotta you crack me up lol i agree - i was dated a guy briefly who "pumped away into the night" LOL and his number was over 100. and the thought he was like this sex god. trust me, he wasn't lol.

Make sure he doesn't have STDs, and make sure he's not a player.

I know his number sounds intimidating, but maybe he's had his share of playing around and now he's looking to get serious. Try to put it out of your mind, because you can't change the past. What you can do, is make sure his motives are pure and that he really does feel for you.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

Think "quality, not quantity".

If he likes you enough to want to be with you intimately and otherwise, than he's not focusing on other girls. He's just so happy to have you naked that is all he can think about. Men can't focus on more than one thing at a time anyway so if he's looking at your body he can only think about you -haha.

Don't worry about experience, he probably likes that you're not as experienced as his and he can teach you some new things and help you experience things you've never done before. Think of it as an adventure, and it'll be so much fun.