I didn't experience the exact same thing but similar. My friend chose her bf over doing the right thing - wasn't even all about me. anyway I cut her off from my life and I couldn't be happier.

But if this friend of yours is very important to you, then like Dear said, talk to her or email her. If she truly is your friend, she will explain herself to you in a civil manner.

My friend did this with his gf. What was different was they were blatantly talking about me! I quickly snapped at them for being rude and said that I was leaving. And, of course, my friend immediately called me to apologize the next day.

And like tomatoshirt and dear sugar, if this friend is important to you. I think you might have to calmly tell this friend what she did because people in love are sometimes clueless.

this is totally wrong. Its happen to me too. I went to a night club with a friend and her boyfriend, we starting dancing and stuff but as the like prolonged she began her mushy stuff. (Me and my beau had just broken up so I was devastated) my friend also assured me that her and her man wouldn't be all mushy in front of me. But she didn't anyways. I felt so awkward. I wanted to go home bad. It was horrible. Never do that again.

You should have conronted the issue right then and there. I doubt they realized that it was rude and I am sure that if you had told her that you thought their behavior was rude and you were really looking forward to spending time with her, she would have understood.

Instead, you took an extremely rude path by simply leaving without saying goodbye! This makes you look bad to both of them and I am sure that they did not understand why you did that. I highly doubt either of them realized how rude they were being.

I think you were extremely immature and should just call your friend and discuss it. Tell her what is bothering you and why she made you so upset.

I have to agree with TidalWave completely. You could have resolved this from the get go by pulling her aside and telling her how you felt instead of leaving her without saying a word. Instead of expecting her to apologize to YOU you need to apologize to HER. I know you feel you are right in this, but you have to swallow your pride and tell her why you did it and that you regret that you handled it poorly. Hopefully she is a good friend and will apologize back for her poor behavior as well.

Hmm. Well I guess I'm in the minority but I have left too. I think it was pretty rude what her friend did and I wouldn't have wanted to waste one more moment. However, I would have let her know I was leaving.

I totally have to agree with Dear on this one. Just leaving without saying goodbye or telling your friend that her actions and those of her boyfriend were making you uncomfortable is rude also. Call, apologize and hopefully let this experience be water under the bridge.

Wow.. she didn't even call to make sure you weren't abducted and murdered at the festival when she realized you were gone? That's some friend.

I disagree with those who say she probably didn't realize she was being rude. Of course she realized it! How could she NOT notice that you were three feet behind, and neither she nor the bf were speaking to you?!?! But people in new relationships pretty much don't care. Honestly, it looks like she's made her choice, and until the newness wears off, or they break up, she isn't going to be much of a friend. I wouldn't bother dealing with it until one of those happens.

You need to let her know... getting all wrapped up in some guy is fine but when you have a guest please act appropriate...this IS NOT highschool.

...On a side note was this ComFest in Columbus, Ohio? That would funny if it was

I think the whole thing is a bit harsh to be honest. I think people in new relationships tend to be focused on each other and we all know that. I think it would have been rude if her friend had promised they wuold be spending time alone or not told her the boyfriend was coming in the first place. i think all those saying how rude the friend was for ebing into her boyfriend are forgetting that we've all probably mad ea firend or two feel this way when we were first in love. Not to mention couldn't the whole thing be perception? After all if you're the kind of person to storm off without confronting a situation you may also be the kind of person who get upset about things and blows evrythign ut of proportion. I think all in all you both could have been better friends to each other and maybe should look into becoming alittle more mature.

i experienced something almost exactly like this (driving three hours to see a friend who pretty much ignored me for her BF when i got there). i left the first time (but did say goodbye). against my better judgement, i went back again a few months later, only to be treated the same way. this time, i did say something to her. but she didn't handle it as maturely as people here are suggesting: she blew up at me, accused me of not caring about her happiness and asked me if i wanted them to break up (of course i didn't...even if he was a jerk). it was a lose-lose situation for me. it took me a long time to get over, and even now, years later (they're still together), it still hurts a little (i'm a hanger-on).

if you do decide to confront her, i hope your experience is better than mine. but if i had to do it over again, i would just keep my trap shut, move on and hope that she'll one day realize how poorly she treated you.

oh boy....

oh, and i disagree with those saying 'we all do it.' yes, the beginning of a relationship is fantastic and you do become engrossed in your new "other," but there's no excuse for treating friends like that, especially if they drive a significant distance to see you and/or you don't see each other all the time. my relationships with friends may have changed a little when i entered a new relationship, but i've always made an effort to include my friends or make up for lost time with one-on-one, "girl" time.

Hi everyone...I'm not sure if you're suppose to remain anonymous on these dear sugars, but after reading this I felt the need to make a slight correction. I really do appreciate reading everyones advice because I am truly at a crossroad on this one, because this friend normally never behaves like this.

So my correction...of course I did not just leave. I'm not quite sure if I omitted that in my original message or if dearsugar did, but no matter. I told both of them that I really wasn't into being the "third wheel" that night, and her bf actually said the following to me... "everyone gets stuck being the 3rd wheel sometime." She actually did apologize, but the behavior continued, and actually got worse at fireworks time. (At which time I told her I was gonna hit the road)

I guess what bothers me the most is the event was very misleading. I was under the impression that we girls were getting all dressed up to go out which was not the case. Like I said, I'm all for being in love, but not so blatantly in front of a friend that hasn't seen you in a long time.

Ha and Jaxon..it was actually Summerfest(good ol' Milwaukee, WI), which is one big overglorified carnival.

Okay, after reading lovelie's response, I would say that your friend most likely will never apologize until after she's broken up with her boyfriend (which will happen, because he sounds like a jerk). She also doesn't like much of a friend either.

ugh, I was still on your side even before you clarified that you let her know you were leaving. You had every right! People can be so freakin' rude sometimes. Believe me, I have experienced selfish friendships like this! SOOO FRUSTRATING.

lol, apparently I am bitter.

oops, I just realized I gave no constructive advice. LOL some help I am.

Anyway, I do believe you deserve another apologogy (other than the one she gave you before the fireworks), but I hate to tell ya that it probably isn't coming. People can be so set in their own ways that they don't even see the faults in their actions. oh well. Still, it isn't necessary to end the friendship completley. Just remember this situation and be wary next time. She clearly isn't the most genuine friend on the block.

I'm glad you came on to clarify, lovelie.

any person in their right mind would be offended by that kind of behaviour. come on, its in bad taste to third wheel anybody. had there been at least one other person u can hang with, they could be as mushy as they please. heck, we were newlyweds, but when my sis in law was out with us alone, we'd definitely take that into consideration. lovelie deserves an apology, and if not shes not worth it. shes one of "those" women who give up everything and everyone for any random guy. tsk tsk.

this has happened to me only so many times.
and while I never left, I tried to politely find an excuse (a transparent lie) to leave. Of course, I wanted my friend to realize the actual reason I was leaving, but if I had said it, I would have been called jealous (call me passive aggressive, but many people who are in love feel that the whole world envies them), so I gave my weakest excuse and let her do the thinking later. Once this happened once or twice, she realized that going somewhere to watch her make out with her boyfriend wasn't as fun as she thought it was, she started to leave the boyfriend at home or be a little more discrete in terms of the way they displayed their affection to each other.
But, there's also another possibility. I have always felt that certain people (not saying this is the case) actually get off on doing that, like it's a turn on for them for some reason (to make people feel jealous? uncomfortable? insulted? there's people who like doing that), and you can tell especially if it happens like another poster above said and they actually talk about you, and they stare at you while doing so, so you know what they're talking about! (that's not being distracted, that's being purposely vicious)

So my advice:
if it's the first case (she doesn't realize she's making you uncomfortable) then try to talk to her and tell her you don't mean to make her feel bad, but you just can't help feel left out hanging around with her and her boyfriend.
if, however, you feel she's the type of person of the second case, then don't sweat it because you don't even need to have someone like that in your life.

She just sounds like an idiot in love. It's forgivable, but you need to tell her that she screwed up. She probably hasn't called you because she's just as immature as she sounds, and she can't figure out how to handle the conversation that's coming to her. Call her and say your peace!

Well, lovlie, I think you did the right thing. You tried to talk to them about how you were feeling and then told them you were leaving when things didn't change. I think she owes you a big apology, but since she is such a good friend, you should cut her some "eyes of love" slack. I would say give it a few days and call her if she hasn't called you - and next time you make plans to go out, make sure it stays a girls' night out!!!

Maybe they have yet to realize that you had left them

Just kidding. But seriously, sometimes timing with these things isnt always perfect.

And everyone is the third wheel at some point in their lives, and you just have to make the best of it. I dont know, make an ass out of yourself, try to be funny, but do something so they notice you and cant ignore you while you walk behind them!!

I have definately been the friend often times who was JUST STARTING a relationship when my friends came stay with me.

It was just bad timing at times; you cant really plan these things but you just do your best to make sure your guests are having a good time.

And then when they get all b*tchy and weird when they realize they dont have you all to themselves...well sometimes there's not much you can do about that.

Thanks everyone for your advice. Like I said, I'm really at a crossroad with this one. Not only that, I really have been questioning my other friends if I was just being irrational about this. It is good to know that it is not in my head and complete strangers affirm my reaction, cause sometimes it is hard to see things from outside the situation!
Thanks again everyone! :)

The fact that she didnt call to see what happen proves that shes not a good friend. I guess you should be happy that this happend because now you know what kind of person she is. I wouldnt talk to her in a very long time. You dont need ppl like that in your life.

Thank you for clarifying lovelie - now that I know these additional facts- I am on your side and want to change my advice. If you said this to her and tried and she STILL didnt say sorry - then you deserve better. Don't bother with your friend - she will come around when she realizes she may have no friends with this poor behavior. I was never this way when I first started dating my BF- in fact I consciously made sure to include my friends - they were more likely to tell ME to hang with my BF rather than other way around. And her boyfriend has the nerve to actually tell you "everyone has to be third wheel" Oh NO way douchbag - everyone does NOT have to be anything that makes them feel like they are not welcome -I would be absolutely pissed and left.

Lol geebers. Yea I would say that his line about the third wheel was the deal breaker for me. I am usually a pretty patient person, but this guy, man, he put the D in douchebag.

Wow!

When relationships first start off they are in cloud 9, trying to get to know each other, etc. If this friend is that important to you, give her a call, email her..tell her that you're hurt and upset by the rudeness. I'm sure if she really is your friend, she'll understand and apologize.

And the next time anyone does to you, control the situation by stating that you feel left out or uncomfortable and then leave. So that way, you look like the bigger person instead of just running off.

This is definitely a case of your friend being gaga and basically hanging you out to dry. If this is the first time she's been smitten, she should be forgiven. If she's a repeat offender, kick her to the curb.

I wouldn't wait around for the call, though. They're probably too busy making out on the couch. I'd honestly lay low and not contact her. If my experience of the world holds true, she'll be heart broken and/or bored in 3 months and come back crying.

Nope I'm with Geebers (the updated advice!). She knows perfectly well that she behaved badly but doesn't care right now and that's regrettable but somewhat understandable. My advice (and speaking from experience) is to definitely not call and instead try and work on forgiving her in your own time and space based on your previously strong relationship. If she's worth having as a friend she will call once she's over her initial euphoria of having a bf and realises how important her girlfriends are (this would be a good time for her to lend you those shoes of hers you've been eyeing off as a peace offering ). Then you guys can get back on track and it's just a (almost) funny memory. If she doesn't call she's not worth it and you'll just have to chalk it up to experience!

(sorry about the epic post!)

That b*tch knew she was being rude! all thirsty up on her man like 7th grade.

f*ck her and her donkey-head boyfriend.

they weren't worth you telling them off. don't f*ck with your so-called friend anymore.

(excuse me if i'm a bit edgy. first day of period. same adivce applies though).

I don't know about everyone else, but I think it's rude that she brought her boyfriend along to begin with. If I was going to drive 2 hours to go see a friend who I hardly ever see, I would want some one on one time. And if the situation was reversed, I would never bring my boyfriend along.

I would have told this 'friend' that I didn't drive 2 hours to be a 3rd wheel, and would have left promptly as well.

yeah. i agrees sundaygreen.

the friend knew she was on thirsty-mode with her boyfriend. she coulda atleast suggested that she bring her boyfriend to. then it could be a couple's thing.

but she didn't go that far, because she really just wanted you to see how cute her boyfriend was, and he's sooo sweet. and he's a great kisser. and don't you think he'll be a good father one day . . .

b*tches.

Dear is absolutely right on this one. If you want to be her friend still call her and explain yourself. She's probably waiting for you to call her. See if you can see her again with or without the bf on your terms. Don't exclude him from everything you two do or he'll resent you and she'll end up feeling the same way.

If you decide she's not worth it than just forget about her. If this is a one time thing than you owe it to yourself and her to get over it and work it out.

Men come and go..but girl friends stuck with you through it all and pick you up when they leave Boo to sh*tty girl behaviour and inconsiderate assholes.

I have SO been there before! I know how it feels, it sucks! You did the right thing by going home. Just forget her and what happened that night and don't let it bother you. Friendships grow apart but you don't want someone who's going to forget about you so easily and ignore you even though you haven't seen each other in a long time while she snuggles up to her boyfriend all night. Forget her!

Where does Dianna say she left without saying goodbye?