Why can't you be your own person in a relationship?

from what you've said, it seems like you have a good relationship, just a little too much of one lol
you just have to create a little space for yourself. try and get some hobbies. since you're at school, maybe join some clubs. if there's anything you've wanted to do e.g. join a gym, read some books, develop your cooking skills, volunteer at an organisation etc. now you can do it. as for the schoolwork, maybe start studying by yourself or try and find study groups in your individual subjects. you'll be less dependent on your boyfriend and you might make some new friends too.

don't think of it as cutting your relationship out, you're just making your life a little fuller. it seems like he really cares about you so try not to neglect him.

when things start going well, we have a tendency for takings for granted. i know you don't mean to, it just happens but you CAN stop it from getting worse. if you don't separate yourself a little bit, you might come to resent him. and who knows? spending a little less time with him might make you miss him and realise how fantastic he really is.

best of luck hun

You're asking if you should ignore your gut just because this guy looks good on paper. Yes, he's helped you. But don't you think you would have grown as a person either way because of starting college? Certainly some things were to change about you, whether or not he was in the picture.

I agree you moved in with him WAY too soon. Now the life of your relationship may be based on a lease - and that makes no sense.

If it's time to end the relationship, do it now and move on. Staying just because he's "good" is the biggest mistake you could make.

I don't think you should be settling when you are only 20. and it sounds like that's what you are doing, because he's been good to you, supported you, and lives with you.

You didn't pass purely because you had his help! He might have helped you meet friends and pass, but in the end it comes down to you and it wasn't just him that made those things happen
I think now that you're more confident in yourself, you want to go and experience the world for yourself rather than living it through him. And that's ok, that's understandable!
You have to ask yourself if you're happy in the relationship, or is the fact that you feel stifled putting you off of a good relationship? If you're not happy, then you have some thinking to do about you and your boyfriends future. But if you are happy with the realationship apart from the stifling bit, then I suggest having a bit of time away from your boyfriend - get different accommodation, don't talk 24/7, get involved in hobbies and clubs or whatever and make friends like that.
Also, just before you're 20 doesn't mean you shouldn't be settling down. Some people do, some people don't - it depends on the person, their feelings and where they are in life. It's neither wrong nor right. Just do what you think is right, and good luck!

I went through something like this when I was 20- I thought that everything I had developed into during a year of a similar relationship was because of HIM. Please remember that who you become is because of YOU. Yes, we're all affected by other people, but you're definitely in a huge period of growth and change anyways. Ask yourself if he's helping you to become the person that you want to be, or if you're feeling held back. You can be in a relationship AND be your own person! I agree that you need to start a few nights a week doing something on your own, something that YOU want to do. Also, try living on your own. It's the greatest way to get to know yourself! Good luck!

Hmm by the way you have worded your post, I am not sure that you mean that you actually want to break up with him, or just start meeting new people. If you feel like you need some independence, then by all means start meeting other people and going out with them. It is good to have your own life and friends in a relationship. You also don't mention at all how you feel about him or if you love him, just what he has done for you. Sounds like you in some way feel obligated to him maybe. That is not a reason to be with someone. You should be with them because they make you happy and you love them. You are young so you don't want to close off all of your options. Only you can decide if you want to stay with him or not, but if you do, I think it would good be if you just establish your own identity a bit more.

Sounds to me like you need to shake it up.
If you love him so much, can't you be independent in your relationship. If you talked to him and expressed how you feel, wouldn't he understand and encourage you to get out there and live life (but integrate him in that mix as well)?
Sounds to me like you have a mindset of relationship or you and your own person. You CAN have both.

I second Janine22...

It's a very exciting and confusing time to begin to have an awareness of your own self...

There are 2 different issues here:
a) establishing your own identity, independence and confidence, and
b) whether or not you are happy/in love in your current relationship.

a) You shouldn't feel bad or guilty, or make it sound as if you are using your boyfriend as a 'stepping stone' into the world. If you don't give it ago and see if "...you can make it on your own..." you will always wonder and regret it later.

b) Are you content to be in this relationship because you have a wonderful person by your side to guide and watch over you? As in '...if aint broke why fix it?..." mettality?

It's hard to break out from our own comfort circle at the risk of saying leaving something behind, however the reward of gaining a whole lot more is just around the corner.

Good luck!

I was shy at first when i went away to school, and it takes a while sometimes to find where you fit in. Now that you feel more comfortable, why dont you try joining a club/playing an intermural sport on your own. Maybe there's a club for your major or an activity you would want to take a part in by yourself. Try it - you never know what could happen!

College is one of the easiest places to meet new people. Join a club, go to the gym, or just go out to parties. Establish your own group of friends or hobbies away from you boyfriend. It is important to have your own life and a relationship.

I second Pistil.

Easier said than done, but in college, you make new friends EVERYWHERE. Now that you're more outgoing, be more open to meeting people in your classes, at your job, or near where you live. Everywhere you go with college students, there will be people totally willing to meet you and probably befriend you. This isn't high school anymore, and people are generally much less clique-y. So arrive early to class and/or stay late so you can talk with classmates, even if it's just about the material. Join a study group. If you have a student job, get to know your coworkers. When there's a party, GO! With some alcohol in you, it's easier to talk to people and you may develop a few friendships (just be safe and don't drink too much).

Also, make sure to assure your boyfriend that you're on the hunt to just meet some more friends, and not a new boy. You can take him along to parties where neither of you know many people, but be sure to mingle and not stick with him the whole time. Slowly incorporate him into your new group of friends so he's confident of your intentions.

I think that getting your own place would be a good idea. I'm not sure how you would go about it, though, without giving your boyfriend the wrong impression.

Besides that, I agree with everyone above who's said you need to get out and do some things on your own to meet new people, whether it's through joining a gym, socializing more in class, or getting involved in some clubs.

There's no reason to dance around the subject. You're young and I'm assuming you're both young. And maybe he's ready to go out and "find himself" as well. Talk to him about it. If you're living together then you should be able to have a conversation about something that affects you both so much. Maybe you should both move out separately even if it's temporary or you may both find out that you're just not meant to be. There's a lot of ways to go about this, but don't make yourself second-fiddle to the "buts".

Dude, you're in COLLEGE. As several other posters have said, there are tons of different groups and clubs that you can get involved in on your own. It's a great way to branch out and meet people regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not. Find something that you're interested in, and take a crack at it -- a theatre troupe, an intermural sports team, the school paper, a political group. Living situations can be hard to bounce in and out of, so try cultivating your own interests and making some friends on your own before changing everything else about your life. Starting slowly can be a lot easier and way less stressful than turning everything upside down on a whim. Once you've started to meet more people, you can re-assess if your relationship and living situation can handle it or not.

Sounds like the perfect example of having to love yourself before you canlove someone else. Maybe you need to take time and do someting purely on your own.

If your question involves the following: "should I STICK with it?"
then....NO...express your concerns and make sure you make it clear is about what YOU want out of life...
If you feel your relationship is a chore or something you should "stick" with...you're not in the right path.

handle your business...I say don't move in with him. Not only for your particular situation, but in general, i don't recommend it.

Live on your own (or other girls from school) and enjoy taking care of yourself.
don't get too wrapped into any man who can do this for you..because if and when that muthaf*cka leaves, you will be in shambles. so learn to walk alone first.

join the debate team...it will help you learn to stick up for yourself, and be firm in your decisions (such as this one).

Plus, there is always some hot guy with a great GPA on the debate team.

Well i'm confused. do you want to break up with him because you want to see other people? Or just because you want your own life? You definitely can and should have your own life while still being in a relationship. Make your own friends!

Do you have a hobby that he doesn't? Start participating in it. Or join some campus group (now that you have confidence) all on your own. Also, maybe next year find a friend to move in with. Just tell him that she needs a roomate and you want to help her out or whatever the case may be. I definitely think a year is too early to move in with someone.

Either way, I would just try to find things that are YOURS and embrace them