Go to therapy.

You should trust what your guy says.IMO you are making a huge something out of nothing and that will definitely scare your boyfriend off and not because you believe you are both intellectually and financially in 2 different places.I agree wih the other poster.You need therapy ASAP.....Good Luck!

Everyone's journey is different...there is no need to compare yourself to others. Rather than focusing on negative, useless thoughts you should strive to be the best you you can possibly be. Always look forward, in order to reach your potential and maybe even be an inspiration to others.

You really need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. And you need to stop worrying about what MIGHT happen next year. Even if you move in together, he doesn't have to know how much you make. You simply tell him what you can afford rent-wise and work with that budget.

I too think counseling is in order. Either that or start taking a class now - something at a community college, or online, or start studying on your own. Why not work extra hard at your current job and apply for a management position?

There are a million answers out there, but you sound too depressed to hear any of them. Hence the counseling recommendation.

Do something, instead of throwing yourself a pity party.

You'll be fine. Just work hard and believe in yourself. Dont lose sight of your goals. I dont think you need therapy.

First off, don't move in with him.

Keep your pocket change and stay where you are . .. especially if you're going back to school.

Don't feel bad about you hunny movin' on up in the world. It's okay. hold your head up. your time will come.

Be a supportive girlfriend, and focus on your career goals at the moment.

I don't know what your situation is, or what you want to major in at school, but if things are a bit tight, take 3-9 units versus the average 12. it's better than saying, "i was gonna . . .".

i think she (the OP) is stuck in a rut. she feels like she's behind. i would too if i were in her shoes. but it's never too late to go back to school and get the ball rolling.

she needs to have supportive friends and family to motivate her. reassure her. once she starts school, she'll be alright. there are more oldies in the classes than you know.

in college, i took a political science course (lousy gen. eds!) and there were about 3 persons over the age of 50. there were confused most of the time, (not because they were old, but because they were slow).

my point is, don't look at your age. keep it pushin'.

Support and encourage yourself the way you did for your boyfriend. How come you can give that to others, and not to yourself??

You're worthy of encouragement and support, too.

Also, stop comparing yourself to others. Stop using others to measure your self-worth. It's an innaccurate measure. Everyone is unique, and have their own special path in life, so it's impractical to compare.

Whenever I feel insecure about myself in relation to others, I remind myself of my favorite fable "The Tortoise and The Hare." I tell myself,"The tortoise won the race." He was not the fastest, not the most talented, and not even glamorous. But he won. He was diligent, persistent, and went at his own (slow) pace. He did not compare himself to the hare. In fact, he didn't have a rat's a** about the hare. He had his goal in mind, and he worked towards it in his own way. And he won.

So for now, you may be the tortoise. But don't be so short-sighted. In the long run, you may end up the winner. Feel better.

I'd talk to him about it and just tell him you're so proud of him and wished you could be already settling into your career. I'd highly doubt he cares about where you are in your career if he really cares about you. Just don't make him feel ashamed that he's there and you're not and don't make him feel like an ATM cause he's making good money. If you think he's going to leave you because he has a better job then you than you have issues. That's not what a relationship is based on. He should be proud of you for realizing that you need to go to school and happy that you helped him while he was looking for his.

I second those who said not to move in with him just yet. You could benefit a lot from taking care of yourself and enjoying an independent life. Therapy wouldn't hurt, too. It's important to set some personal goals that aren't based on what others in your life have achieved, or are expecting of you.

Asia and Glowing have given you some beautiful advice. Because honestly - therapy is NOT the answer for everything.

Everybody's got a different life path. If your boyfriend loves you, he will never judge you for what you do but for who you are, and the only person who's looking down on you right now is YOU! It's ok that you're not at the same level than him. Also, I hate to say it, but HE's the guy... if the situation were reversed, he may develop some kind of misplaced male-ego trip, but because you're the girl, I don't think you're expected to be as successful as he is (I know I'm going to get a lot of sh*t for this, but I stand by my reasoning because that's the reasoning a GUY would have).

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I'm sure the only thing he expects from you is to be happy and a good girlfriend, not to have a checklist of things you need to have accomplished by this date in order to be worthy.

This said, you are feeling down because YOU don't feel like you are fulfilling your potential, so if there's anything you can do to overcome some of those "setbacks" and get a move on, concentrate on that - maybe start with a list of what you want to do for yourself (not of things you think you should do so he'll admire you!) - and take it one step at a time.

I disagree with the people who advise you not to move in with him. I don't see any reason why you'd do that. Life is full of ups and downs, and a good relationship is about being able to go through those together. You supported him while he was growing, now it's his turn. You don't need to tell him that in those terms, but by doing your thing, getting your life together, and advancing towards your own goals, while making a life with him, should accomplish just that.

Calm down and stop berating yourself. As Asia said, you may be stuck in a rut - the best thing to do right now is step back and look at yourself objectively, and move forward. Not stare at what you think your setbacks and flaws and inferiorities are. It's a challenge - take it up!

Good luck!

What sweet encouragement, GlowingMoon. Reading your words reminded me of how my Grandfather used to regularaly encourage me when I was in middle school and high school. Gave me the same warm fuzzies
I hope the origional poster will take your advice to heart, it is very good advice.

I think there is something that happens when we turn 30, we feel like we need to take stock of our lives. But don't forget all the great careers that were started after retirement, or in mid-life.
And think of how long people in some professions have to go to school before they can really start their working careers. They are not starting to work in their chosen career untill later, either.
Other people who started school at 18 and graduated at 21 and have had no setbacks in life don't necessaraly have it better than you do, either. Every experience in life teaches us something. You have gained character and integrity that will help you have the inner drive and maturity it will take to graduate, and any other goals you set for yourself. When you think of it, few people really end up working in the field they got a degree in. Really, graduating mostly proves that we have the character to stick to a commitment we have made untill it is finished. And then, it is a priveledge to be able to go to school in the first place. Think of all the people who can't. And the work ethic they have is usually even better. The one sure thing in life is change. Take comfort in this. In a year or two from now, your life can be, and probably will be, totally different. You will be well on your way to meeting some of the goals that you are setting for yourself right now, if you only keep plugging away at them, like the hare, as GlowingMoon said. Good luck to you

I don't think you need therapy, that's a bit much. Just don't worry about other people, they have their lives and you have yours, it doesn't have to be the same. I'm with Asia, GlowingMoon and karlotta. Oh, and I also think you should go ahead and move in with your bf, you were supportive of him and now he can do the same for you. Just quit comparing yourself to other people...it doesn't matter...just do what you want and enjoy it, whatever makes you happy/content is what you should do. Good luck!

Oh wow how ironic.. I went through the same thing! I don't think therapy is necessary. Just as long as what you want to do makes you happy and you love it! =) Don't think way too much into this, you might end up pushing your boyfriend and other people in your life away. They all just want you happy and your boyfriend supports you on whatever you will do! If he wanted someone else on his "career level", then he wouldn't be with you and want to move in with you! He loves you! So no more stressing about this! =)

Worrying about failure is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Focus on the positive!

It's ok to be working towards something and want to get somewhere with your life - but instead of feeling sorry you aren't already there, let it be your motivation. Just like so many people have said - everyone's life path is different.

I also think there are lots of people out there who just go through school, get a job, and work work work. They don't always think about whether their work is meaningful to them, if it's what is really what they want to be doing... When you are a person who DOES think about these things, it takes a bit longer, but I think you are making conscious decisions and reflecting about who you are and what you want to be, and that's great! But don't compare it to people who knew those things already or who don't reflect on them.

I also sometimes think this way and its important to remember that if you need to change something in your life, change it. But it takes a lot of hard work. Some people have it easy because of connections, money...but if you make it on your own with out all that think how proud you will be!

Believe in yourself honey, and don't let this self-doubt push away the people who love you for who you are, right now

thanks everyone for your advice. sure did help me put some things in perspective. i feel so much better. and moon especially. the story of the tortoise was added bonus. thanks everyone!

Men don't care much about money. Do you have a car? A job of some sort? Good enough for most. Haven't you seen that over and over? Obviously there's other things they want more. Like long hair and nice legs. That's always a number one concern. If he's interested in a woman who makes more than he does he would have gone after that by now. Most men don't do that because it threatens their fragile egos anyway. In most cases they want to be the big man and you can support them in that way. If he loves you he will use his success as a means to propel you both as a success together.
He won't even think too hard about your job really. When you move in with him everything will be fine. You may never make as much as him. Plus you never know, things could come crashing down for him and who will be there then? You will. Understand that a job and success are important. But it's a personal goal that should not interfere. I bet if you smiled a bit and payed a lot of attention to him, he would barely understand your concerns. The more you beat yourself up the faster that little hamster wheel will turn. What a waste of energy for you. Stop it.