Many men have an ability to be spontaneous when it comes to sex. They're free of their emotions and can have one-night stands without even so much as batting an eye. Ever since the sexual revolution of the sixties, women have tried to do the same, but according to an article in Science Daily, new research published by the journal Human Nature indicates that women's negative emotions get in the way of a satisfying casual-sex encounter.
In the study, 1,743 men and women had one-night stands, and the following morning were asked to rate both their positive and negative feelings. It's no surprise that 80 percent of the men had said the experience was great, and only 54 percent of the women felt the same way. The men felt sexual satisfaction, contentment, and a greater sense of well-being and confidence, while the women felt "used." Science Daily writes:
Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships.
Perhaps women are also affected by the added burden of a potential pregnancy. Whatever the reason, I don't find it all too surprising that women feel sex is more satisfying with someone they share an emotional connection with. But ladies, what are your thoughts on casual sex? Does this study ring true for you? Or do you find one-night stands exciting and fun?
Mike & Chris
Jaeger
Net-a-Porter
I agree completely. When I broke up with a long term ex, everyone told me that whole "to get over one get under another" and I just couldn't do it. I even had the chance, and I walked away because it didn't feel right. I can't do it.
1I agree. As women we tend to put our "feelings and emotions" into it. I did it once and felt so ashamed/used afterwards. Now I'm with my current/long-term boyfriend and I sex with him is better because I LOVE him.
2I don't quite believe this nonsense that women always have to feel an emotional connection to sex. That is just a holdover culture has foisted upon us from the days when women being promiscuous meant you didn't know who fathered their children, which had repercussions for property rights. So it's a patriarchal thing.
There are plenty of reasons to be careful about casual sex--pegnancy and STDs. And everyone is different emotionally: even some guys need to feel an emotional connection to have sex. But women don't HAVE to, and I think a lot of it is because our culture teaches us to feel shame, which is a poor reason in my book. There is NO REASON ever to feel ashamed of our sexuality, as long as sex is consensual and both parties are free to do it.
3Before I get attacked, I should also mention that obviously some people have moral/religious beliefs that mean casual sex is a no-no, which is cool, but since I was talking about people who are willing to do it in the first place, I didn't mention that.
4I think women are more responsible in a sense where we actually care about our body. who knows if the person has any STDs...
5Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
6I have never had a one night stand, not only because of the STD risk, but that I know it could never be an unemotional thing. I had a "friend with benefits" for a while, but it didn't work out; I couldn't help but get attached.
7I don't have problem w/casual sex. I guess from watching "Sex and the City" I'm more comfortable w/myself to not worry about what others may think. Good bless Samantha, lol.
8At the end of the day, I personally feel that it is better not to get into it unless you really want to. There have been instances where I was really attracted to someone I'd have a one night stand with, and I had a great time. However, usually, if I do engage in something like this, I just end up not ever returning his calls. Men tend to try to contact me afterwards, but I just shun any such possibility.
9So, I wouldn't mind if I (and only I) was into the man.
But other than that - no dice.
I have nothing against casual sex. But I totally agree that women have more emotions tied to sex than men. It's like they can just be robotic. I don't get it. I gotta feel something back, or they're not getting anything from me. Feeling used is not a good feeling.
10I think there is nothing wrong in admitting that women's bodies and psyche are different in a way that makes them attach more emotion to sex (on average, so this doesn't go for every woman). We really don't need to be like men in every way. True emancipation is about freedom, not about imitating men instead. So what if we have a 'softer' approach to sex? For me, a one-night-stand may be enjoyable because of the act of sex, but I'd still never do it because sex can make you think you're in love with a person even if you aren't, because of the chemicals it releases. That's my take anyway, if there are women out there enjoying casual sex that's cool, it's just not for me.
11Another thing of it is, men get the opposite pressure. If they don't "sow their wild oats", and if they want to have a relationship with someone before having sex, they get mockery for "being a woman".
I say people should choose what they want for themselves without all this gender based stereotypical BS.
12I have had casual sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Woman can do it too. It can be fun and steamy.
But sometimes, woman tend to get emotionally attached. Woman sometimes want something stabled and real.Not just one night stands.
I did it, and now that I am in a committed relationship I think it would be hard to give myself so easily to anyone if I were to become single again.
Then again everyone is different.
13I actually just don't get physically attracted to people unless I know them and have some kind of feelings towards them. I might think some random stranger is good-looking, but I can't recall a single instance where I've seen someone I don't know and thought, "I want to hit that."
14i've tried casual sex, and it just doesn't work for me. i don't enjoy it at all. it's not necessarily b/c of religious beliefs or wanting to fall in love or anything like that...it's probably more that i'm quite self-conscious and need time to get comfortable with someone.
but i do have friends who have had lots and lots of casual sex with no qualms. to each his (or her) own.
15Amen to that, looseseal
16Jude C, I agree.
17I think it depends on how much time you spend with the person you've had casual sex with - and that determines the level of emotional attachment. If its a one night stand, lets say your at a party, flirting with and attracted to a guy, have sex then never see him again - there could be no emotions for that person the next day/ever. If you are sleeping casually with a friend whom you have no intention of dating, emotions have a higher tendency to develop. I think that is a more common thing. I've heard about/known men that can casually sleep with a friend for as long as 6+ months but do not feel any romantic emotions towards them and do not wish to date them.
18I don't believe this. The emotional factor isn't just with females. It's with males as well! I have plenty of male friends who don't have casual sex because it just doesn't appeal to them. Myself, I'm the exact opposite. I have no problem with casual sex. But that's me.
To each their own. As long as you know your limits ... life is good.
19I hate the fact that now it seems like a bad thing to NOT want to have casual sex, as though admitting women have emotional ties to something so personal is wrong. Every time these studies come out women admit that they don't like having one nights stands and that there are feelings involved and then some other women as though they are still trying to prove something have to pipe up and say that it's not true and women can screw just like men as though it's something to be proud of. I know people can do whatever they please but I personally have had casual sex and while I didn't delude myself by thinking it would lead to something more I wasn't happy with it either. There may be some women out there who have flings all the time and who feel satisfied and progressive and whatever else it's supposed to make one feel, and that's fine, just don't try to make the rest of us feel bad for wanting something more
20that's a load of crap. i am ALL for casual [protected] sex.
I don't care if people are like "oh, she's a skank" cause I personally don't care what people have to say about me, they said those things even when I was a virgin and they say it more now and I could give 2 sh!ts about them. I like having fun and I don't think men should be the only ones to get their kicks when it comes to sex. So why shouldn't I get my kicks as well? Just cause I have a vagina? Pft.
I respect myself still because it's something I wanted to do, no one forced me, I don't do it to raise my numbers...no real feelings go into it. Only lust. Ha!
21With my friends it's the opposite. I think that The girl's are overcompensating. They do tend to feel guilty but they push it out of the way and play like boys. The guys don't want to be a number to a woman and would rather have relationships or at least more than a one night stand. My husband and I are both the relationship type and always have been.
22bransugar79, I get what you mean. It's overcompensation for centuries of "women are sluts and tramps if they enjoy sex" attitude. We'll finally have balance when we get to a time where people aren't considered "dirty" or "bad" for having casual sex, AND people are not considered "uptight" and "lame" for not having casual sex.
At our current point in time, we're all kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Really, the only people who needs to have the same outlook on sex are people who are doing each other. The entire world doesn't have to be all the same.
23If this study is just on one-night stands...in my case, they're like Taco Bell: it always sounds good, but I regret it immediately after.
24Haha "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" Hee
25is this not ancient news, literally? if we didn't feel badly about stuff like this, the meaning that backs the world "family" would not exist as we know it. not even litter gerbil families. women naturally hold the fort down, not run around outside of the fort having sex with gerbils in other forts.
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