George Orwell once feared for the English language, noting that vague prose, wordiness, and clichés were killing the truth and our souls. Well, he never heard corporate speak! (Click here and here if you're dying for more.) He would have popped a vein if he could hear sentences like, "Moving forward, let's touch base about leveraging our chances at incentivising folks into purchasing these synergistically utilizable value-added, outside-the-box integrated solutions. They're low-hanging fruit, people! Let's put 110 percent into picking them while they're ripe." I have no idea what I just said, but I'm proud of those sentences nonetheless. So what's the most annoying corporate catch phrase?
Miu Miu
Tibi
Tom Tailor
I'm beginning to hate how everyone has started to use sustainable for everything.
Let's discuss! (that's another corporate directive that I can't stand)
1Leverage kills me. I hear that word about 10 times a day.
I also hate, in meetings, when someone says "Let's take this offline."
2Synergy. WTF does that actually mean? I've heard it used in dozens of different contexts and it never seems to mean the same thing. Now whenever I hear it I just assume the person is an idiot for using made-up words with no meaning.
3Action item.
Because it is UTTERLY unnecessary. But it is not the only one that annoys me, most of these drive me berserk because they replace perfectly good, valid, English words with complete and lazy "Bull**it words".
Touch base is one I end up using sometimes, and I consider it one of my worst habits.
I think however the one that annoys me the most is "proactive".
4I don't know what some of those things mean or refer to but I feel confused.
5Touch base, out of the loop, moving forward...Moving forward is probably the one I hate the most... :|
6I dunno. It's a toss up between out of the loop (only because I always am), outside the box, proactive, and integrated solution.
7I say outside the box, although the synergy poster was one I had to stare at whenever I made copies.
8Oh oh! I just thought of another one..
I basically am contracted by a small, one woman company, and though I think a lot of my boss, and we get along well (I have worked for her for years), the one thing she says that REALLY drives me nuts, more than "proactive"...
is..
"ping."
As in.. "Ping me when you are done."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
9I keep thinking of more..
"Pollenate"...not like flowers but used, roughly, as a replacement for "Populate", you would hear it in sentences referencing databases, mailing lists, etc.
"Granular" (I saw this one one of the lists linked, and its true, that one is annoying as well.) "Can we get more granular with this report?"
...you mean..more SPECIFIC? More FOCUSED? THEN SAY IT!
Side note though, I have less of a problem with the word "outsourcing" and it doesn't always mean people losing their jobs, sometimes it means that positions not ABLE to be filled by a given company are sought by way of employing small firms that can do the specialised work. I have to defend that, since the people that use my work, have outsourced for it, technically.
10Offline is making the rounds at my office, too! As is granular.
We prefer to punt things over, "put a bug in his ear" about it, tag up, or get it on the radar.
I don't mind leverage, because at least it's a real word. And I ask for action items from my team, because tasks, to-do lists, and the like sound like work, but action items are somehow glamorous...I mean, they get done.
11Lets take it offline is the WORST. I've just moved to the UK and they use it here all the time. I refuse to use those buzz words its awful. Worse when you have to put it into the minutes of the meeting!!!
12The one overused phrase I can't stand any more is "at the end of the day". You not only hear it in the office but also 10 times or more on the evening news!
13um....the worst is 'hot tasker'....ARGH!!! There is nothing I hate more than catch phrases....
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