Dear Sugar,
My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months — everything is planned and ready to go, but we just can't seem to agree on where to go for our honeymoon! I know it's typically the man's responsibility to plan and pay for it, but if I left it up to him, we'd be hiking in the Himalayas when all I really want to do is relax on a beach somewhere.
Without creating an argument, how can we come to an agreement on where to go and what to do? I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I think it's important for us both to be happy. — Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca
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Dear Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca,
You're right, you and your fiancé should definitely agree on where you go for your honeymoon so why don't you start off by writing a list of the things you both want out of your vacation. It sounds as though relaxing is important to you while being adventurous is important to him, but there's no reason why you can't meet somewhere in-between. Consider someplace like Costa Rica, New Zealand or South Africa so you'll have both the ability to hang out on the beach and explore your surroundings.
While tradition says the groom should plan the honeymoon, I feel it should be a mutual decision. Your honeymoon is supposed to be about spending time with your new husband and basking in your wedded bliss so it's imperative that you're both happy with your final destination, even if that means a few trips to the drawing board. Good luck, but most importantly, have fun!
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Andrea Conti
If you want nice beaches AND great places to hike (and you can even hike TO a beach or hike BY a beach... I'd suggest the Sunshine Coast in BC, Canada. Great place to go in the summer. I know it doesn't sound exotic, but I swear, it feels like the edge of the world there in some places.
Seriously, there are so many places that has both beaches and hiking, this really shouldn't be a huge problem.
1I went to Mexico (Peurto Vallarta) with some girl friends and we spent most of the time on the beach, but honestly, it grew boring towards the end of the week. so the last three days, I talked them into going for a Zipline Canopy tour of the 'rain forest' there and they loved it! The last day there, we went on a mini-cruise to a small village then hiked to a waterfall, and all of us had a blast!
I think it's definitely easy to compromise on this one.
2Totally agree with Dear and the others. Find a place you can do both things. You're right, you should both enjoy it!
3I had no idea this was typically the man's responsibility to plan........
4????
Yeah it's really not that difficult to find a place that is both relaxing and adventurous.
Have an open mind!
5Ah, I would love to go to the Himalayas. The beach is so boring, in my opinion. New Zealand is a great option if you want to compromise.
6I agree - this is not hard to solve! You might also consider Na Trang, Vietnam. It has beautiful beaches right against the mountains, and a warm, temperate climate. Or what about the South of France (Nice, Cannes, etc.)? The other suggestions are great, too!
7Go somewhere where you can do both. Let's be honest- if you can't compromise on your honeymoon, mayyyybe this isn't the right guy for you.
8There is no reason why you should be stuck in a time warp and insist that it is his responsibility to plan and pay. Help him out!
We were in a similar situation with not knowing where to go, though reverse -- I wanted to get up and go and DO things, and my husband wanted to lay around and relax. We wound up going to Greece, and it was FANTASTIC. In Athens, I loved the culture and the museums. In Mykonos, he loved lying on the beach all day and taking lazy strolls through town. In Santorini, we were both happy to do a combination of visiting the beaches, hiking around the cliffs, visiting the wineries, and laying by the pool overlooking the caldera. It was the best of both worlds for us.
The key to a happy marriage is COMPROMISE so pick a honeymoon destination where you will each get to spend some time doing what you want.
9it's the HONEYMOON!!! can't be that hard! Consult your travel agent!
10The best thing to do is to have an open schedule, that way its not "we have to get there by this time!"
11Southeast Asia is a great choice that's been mentioned, also less obvious is South America. It's a lot cheaper to travel there, no jetlag. Places like Peru and Central America are a little more adventurous, but Chile is both beautiful and modern if you're looking for something a little more close-to-home culturally, but still very fun and rich in culture!
12Compromise. Find a place that has a little of what both of you want. There are days when you'll be spending time on the beach, days spent hiking and some days you won't even leave the room. You both need to be happy with this decision. I'm honestly scared for your marriage if you needed to ask how to solve this "problem". Marriage is all about compromise.
13I'm a little concerned that you are marrying this person but you have to ask for help from outsiders about how to communicate your preferences for something as simple as a honeymoon.
14you could go somewhere like hawaii, have your beach, and send him off on his day of hiking
15It kind of sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. There are hundreds of places in the world where you can both explore and relax at the same time. I can understand why your future husband wouldn't want to spend thousands of dollars just to sit on a beach in a foreign country. Don't be stubborn about doing a little exploring and yes, perhaps some physical activity, because I'm sure your fiance will be happy to relax on a beach after that.
16I agree with most the other posters - Meet in the middle.
I'm going to Dragon*Con in Atlanta, Georgia for mine (A Sci-Fi/Fantasy Convention). Not much for the outdoors.
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