just ask yourself if you would want your boyfriend cuddling another girl while you were upset with him.

Thats just not okay.

If the tables were turned, you'd be devastated at your boyfriend for holding hands, cuddling and whatever other affectionate move there is. That's the main thing about the problem you're causing. It's an affectionate move you're doing with your male friends. If I were you're boyfriend I'd have a talk to you about it. If you've done this more than twice, then it's a NOT forgive...sorry.

I think you should be forgiven because I too am guilty of this! But, when you know for a fact that your boyfriend would be really upset if he found out that you were doing this then I would probably stop. You don't want to hurt him or give him the "wrong" ideas. Plus you should be careful with your guy friends as well. They might get the wrong idea and one thing might lead to another...

What a strange thing to do.

I agree w/ sundaygreen. I would never "cuddle" with any of my guy friends, that would be a gateway to cheating on my bf, in my opinion.

It doesn't matter what you say your motives are. You know it would upset your boyfriend, so don't do it.

Also, I'm sorry, but I don't exactly believe that you have no "sexual feelings" toward these guys. Why don't you cuddle with your female friends the next time you're upset? Because you don't like to be that physical with girls? Exactly.

um this is very odd- please figure out why you do this because it is NOT normal!

I would never do that. I wouldn't even feel comfortable being close to another guy like that at all. No that's not OK. Like the others said, the first thing I thought was, would you think it was OK if you found out your BF was cuddling with some other girl after fighting?

it's strange that you need to cuddle with another man to feel better after an argument. maybe you should deal with your feelings about the argument head-on instead of running to receive affection from another guy.

That is AWFUL! How would you like it if your boyfriend did the same thing and had 'girls come over to cuddle' with him when he was in a fight with you! OMG.

eh thats weird

not okay

That's just weird.

I concur with the other ladies on this post---this is NOT ok. I mean what are you thinking?? Why is it that you need "comfort" from other men if you fighting with your b/f? Validation of some sort? This is very odd and not ok in anyone's books I don't think. I would consider this cheating if my boyfriend did this because it is not innocent and obviously has some sexual nuances somewhere.

Not forgive. You said that your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out. It's kind a rule in my mind that you shouldn't do something if it's something you wouldn't tell your boyfriend about, esp. since you know it would upset him.

I agree with most of you. This is not only weird its also SO WRONG. This is so strange!

This is not okay if you know your boyfriend would be upset if he found out. If you have an open relationship or something, it might be okay, but I suspect that can't be the case, or else you wouldn't even need to ask this question.

I agree with the poster who said that you need to learn to face your arguments head on. Needing emotional validation from others in what I assume is supposed to be a monogamous relationship is even a form of cheating, I'd say.

Definitely wrong. I could not imagine doing that, if i were you i would feel SO guilty, like i had cheated. Also you have to think that those guys are waiting to swoop in to get into your pants when you are emotional and upset. Those feelings need to be worked out between you and your boyfriend, not another man.

I agree with others that this is a bit strange.

I voted to forgive only because you asked for advice so you already know it's an issue and wrong. You want validation? Here it is, all of the above. I had a best friend for a long time who was male and I never did this with him.
I miss him, he died way too young.

Anyway, listen to the girls and stop. It will only hurt the guy you call your boyfriend.

Liss, your comment with your picture are perfect together! LOL.

IMHO, it's only ok if the guy is gay. What you're doing sounds like an emotional affair. The times my bf and I fight, I would never think about doing what you're doing. What we fight about is personal. If we can't work it out, we seek professional help and keep it private. Why tell anyone your business?

If you know your bf would be devastated, then why do it? Is your motivation revenge? Ever think about working things out with your bf, so you get the "comfort" from him? This is borderline cheating to me. You say you're not sexually attracted, but how do you know their not?

Like everyone else has already sai I think it's wrong. It's ok to talk to your friends about it but for them to come over and cuddle ...thats just wrong.

Thats weird I wouldnt want my bf to be mad at me and then run to one of his girl friends and start to cuddle...cuddling is one of my fav things...if you feel the need to cuddle call a girl friend to come over and talk i have had many nights with my bff where we just lay on the couch and watch movies or talk and cry much better than turning to another guy!

you said yourself if your bf knew he would be devestated...so why you do it? to get back at him? that is kinda of childlish.

i think most people agree that cuddling is a very intimate thing and for you to run off to another guy's arms after a fight is really childish and selfish. how would you feel if he did the same? lots of couples get into fights... and i would say the majority of them don't do what you do, they handle it accordingly!

This also is unfair to your male friends, who may be expecting something to come from this cuddling. Not cool.

only if he's gay!

I agree with fantome - this is emotional cheating, which can be just as damaging as physical cheating. You're turning to other guys to meet your needs, when you should be making it work with YOUR guy - if that's even what you want. Since you're being vindictive and sneaking around behind his back, I suspect that you might not want things to work out. Stop being a brat and be honest with yourself and with your guy!

i disagree that it's "weird" but I do think it's not a healthy thing to do.

"...but if my boyfriend knew I did this he would be devastated..."
Thats what shuts this down for me, anyways.
You shouldnt be doing something that you KNOW would hurt him

You should solve the problem with your boyfriend and then cuddle with *him*. Cuddling with other guys while your boyfriend is at home being mad is not only a very bad thing to do to your relationship (keyword: unresolved quarrels), it also shows immaturity on your side since you take the easy way out and get reassurance/comfort/tenderness that he does not.

Please stop doing that and fix your relationship problems. If you don't, things will at some point turn out bad for you - either from your boyfriend's side or one of those friends'.

like sporky said, this could be a gateway to physical cheating. as someone who has experienced emotional cheating on both ends, i know how easy it is to fall into seemingly harmless behavior like this. you may not think much of it now, but as soon as you find yourself seeking to satisfy your needs (emotional or physical) outside of your relationship, something needs to change. despite how platonic your relationships with your guy friends may seem, all it takes is a moment of weakness in either one of you for things to go south. especially since you engage in this behavior in an environment where the temptation may be heightened, i.e. when your relationship is on the rocks you may not feel as "taken." i knew this guy that had said "i would never break up a couple, but if your relationship was having trouble or on the downturn, it would be different." that sounded crazy to me, but people have different mindsets about the boundaries of a relationship, so you shouldn't risk it.
have you considered how your guy friend/s might feel? on one hand, they might feel touched that you are coming to them during tough times and are happy to offer support. on the flip side, if one of them secretly has feelings for you, he may feel hopeful that you keep running to him for support and end up increasingly frustrated when you keep going back to your bf.
as an above poster mentioned, how would you feel if he did the same with his female friends? i bet you would feel uncomfortable and hurt that he needed someone else's comfort when it is a problem strictly between you two.
i agree with murmur, that is some sound advice that you should seriously consider implementing. it is time to step up and do what is mature and healthy for your relationship instead of running into the arms of your man-friends every time the going gets tough. good luck!

I'm really surprised with how many people think that this is weird. I disagree to a certain extent. I have a guy friend that I have known since 5th grade that I hold hands with, hug, and cuddle with. I wouldn't purposely call him over after a fight to cuddle with him, but our relationship has always been a flirty one. I don't have any feelings for him other than being friends. My boyfriend is aware of my relationship with this guy friend and he doesn't seem to be bothered by it. My bf knows that there are no feelings there and isn't threatened by it in the least. They actually get along really well together.

Having said this, I think it is wrong that you purposely call over these guy friends to cuddle only after you and your boyfriend have had a fight. This does venture in the unforgivable territory because it makes it seem that you are trying to replace your boyfriend or fill a void that he is unable to fill.

The only reason my situation is fine is because my bf is aware of it and isn't bothered by it. You said that your boyfriend would be devastated, therefore it's wrong. Anything that he wouldn't be okay with, you shouldn't be doing. Every relationship is different. You have to evaluate what is right and wrong within your own relationship.

My boyfriend (of 3+ years) and I definitely have an open-cuddling relationship. We both have good girl/guy friends and don't really see the big deal of curling up with them when watching a movie or hanging out to talk. I guess we both see cuddling as more of a comfort/friendly thing, but in our situation we have similar views about it. You should probably talk to your boyfriend about it and stop if he is uncomfortable with it.

I agree with the others who don't believe that you don't have any sexual feelings for him. When I was dating my last boyfriend I would cuddle with a guy friend of mine and it was because I had a crush on him and vice versa. There is attraction there...

I said forgive IF you stop doing it NOW. I mean, really.......

This may come across as harsh or rude, but I think that this is super pathetic and needy. look within yourself for strength, don't try to find it by cuddling with other guys. It's a really lame thing to do.

It seems like you don't really take your relationship too seriously. Maintaining relationships with guys that you run to to cuddle with when you and your boyfriend fight is a blazing illustration of the fact that you NEED to feel wanted by someone, whether it's your boyfriend or someone else. Your actions show that you are keeping one foot out the door "just in case"... you obviously don't love your boyfriend enough to trust him with your heart and to give him YOUR heart completely. In my opinion, your actions are cheating and pretty pathetic.
Gain some self confidence and stop being such a male attention wh*re.

This question cracked me up so I voted forgive.

This seems like an amateur mistake, so I am assuming you are very young.

In which case, it doesnt matter what you do in this relationship because it is just a practice one anyways!

Chances are, you are already making other mistakes in this relationship - because it seems like y'all are fighting a lot if you've cuddled enough to wonder/ask if this is 'wrong'.

Just go with your gut and then learn from your mistakes so you will have a better respect for your future relationships.

This is just manipulative and hurtful on purpose. Why should you be forgiven for soemthing you aren't even sorry about. I don't understand why people get into relationships when they clearly don't want to be in them. Why not just casually date or better yet stay by yourself until you get yourself together. I can't imagine if your boyfriend told you he had a group of women friends he can always snuggle up to in case he needs to you would be ok with it. What is up with people?

Not forgive.

Would you do this in front of your boyfriend?? Anything you wouldn't do in front of your boyfriend is considered cheating in my book.

As a girl with no girlfriends, I can understand you going to your guy friends for comfort. Cuddling...I dunno. If you suddenly started bawling your eyes out and they held you or whatever, cool cool. Snuggling and getting close after every little argument, not so much. You can get comfort without getting too friendly. Otherwise, just start talking to your Beau and try to work out the situation at hand.

And if you know doing something would hurt him...then don't do it.

Not forgive...Id be pissed if I were him.

eh... sounds like a big flirt to me.

Running to your guy friends when you have problems with your boyfriend is really lame, needy and attention-seeking. Whether you cuddle with them or not! Grow a spine and go for a jog or something when you're upset. Or talk to your boyfriend. Why are you running to other people to cheer you up anyway?

And sorry, unless these guys are gay, running to guys when you are sooo sad and needy is dangerous behavior in the cheating area anyway. Seems like you're just seeking validation from them through physical contact.

Grow a pair!

this question has reminded me of a friend of mine who is SHOCKED that her guy friends take her wanting to cuddle in bed in either just underwear or less as a sexual advance. why on earth would a guy think a half naked girl in their bed who wants to spoon and cuddle is anything sexual at all (sarcasm)?

the poster just seems like an insecure girl who needs male validation to feel good about herself.

Not forgive. Even if they aren't filling a sexual void, they are indeed filling an emotional void.

Wow, it looks like everyone here assumes that there can be absolutely no affection between a man and a woman without any sexual tension. I voted Forgive, because I have guy friends whom I absolutely see as (little or elder) brothers and nothing, NOTHING else (the thought of even having miniscule sexual or romantic feelings for them grosses me out) and I would see no problem in going to them for comfort or a hug the same way I would to a father or brother.
However, you are the best judge of whether you keep turning to the same guy and what your underlying emotions for him really are.

I think you already know the answer to this. If you KNOW your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out, why would you do it? That is NOT ok. Not at all. It's fine to talk to guy friends when you're upset, maybe get a good hug for encouragement, but not snuggling. Otherwise it's just you fighting with your boyfriend and then running to another man for comfort - non-sexual feelings notwithstanding.

I'd just apply the golden rule here. If you wouldn't like it if he did the same thing, then don't do it.