I can be picky when it comes to certain terminology — you know how I feel about the use of "banged" and "nagging". Sometimes a word or phrase just gets under my skin, like "engaged to be engaged." Though I understand what the phrase is meant to describe, I find it frustrating, because it seems to put an entirely satisfactory relationship into the context of marriage. Perhaps a couple is more than happy just being where they are and feels no need to justify their relationship status with a totally made-up phrase.
Like promise rings, I just don't get the appeal, but do you agree? Or do you find it a perfectly reasonable description? When it comes to the phrase "engaged to be engaged" to represent a serious couple's status, where do you stand?
Vero Moda
Cinque
Elle Macpherson
"engaged to be engaged"?
Promise rings are cute...In High School!
1both of those things make me insane
2why do you need to get engaged to be engaged? (which is what i've always thought promise rings are - "i promise to propose to you one day")
it's just strange and unnecessary
I agree with Hootie & skigurl... just strange. Glad I have never heard the term.
3infuriating! either you ARE engaged or you ARE NOT engaged. promise rings are a waste of money.
4To be engaged, you pretty much need to be planning your wedding otherwise you just have a nice ring on your left hand. If you are "engaged" and have no intentions of actually getting married you're not engaged, just in a serious relationship.
5I agree - I think those two concepts are totally pointless.
6Okay never heard of that term!! And i didnt think grown-ups did promise rings !! I think "committed" is a good enough term.
7wtf? i've never even heard of that.
8ur either engaged or ur not
i totally agree!...i hate that term! either you're engaged or your not. I also hate it when couples get "engaged" but stay engaged for like 10 years! Get married already! A friend of a friend that I know has been engaged for 7 years! Whenever she gets mad at her boyfriend/fiance she always breaks off the engagement, throws the ring at her boyfriend and tells him that its over! Within the next few days they're back together. It drives me nuts!
9hmm, we're not engaged yet but I'm planning our wedding... what does that make us? lol
10Engaged to be engaged??? I never heard the term and quite frankly NEVER want to hear it again. Why is there this need to make up phrases when it comes to relationships? It's cut and dry to me. Either you're engaged or you're not. Plain and simple. I don't care if you intend to get engaged. Let me know when you are. Until then, it's a serious relationship.
As far as promise rings, I know couples who have it for other reasons. It's not a promise to get engaged but to abstain from sex. The rings are usually ones they already had. To BUY another ring to promise to get engaged/married/stay together is just ridiculous.
sugaNspice... TEN YEARS!?!?!?!?! Oh no, I allow a maximum of 2 years to be engaged. After that, you better get to JOP and throw a party afterwards. That's just crazy.
11ya that is crazy, you are either engaged or your not.
12
you're not your!
13I have never even heard this before in my life. What is the point of it?
14I agree with the others who've posted. You are either engaged or you're not.
I first heard this when I ran into an ex-boyfriend. We hadn't talked in years and he asked what I'd been up to. I told him I just started a new job and I was engaged. Then he tells me about "the girl he's going to marry." I congratulated him on his engagement, but he said he wasn't engaged. Wha...?
15After my husband and I moved in together before getting engaged I was getting on him about getting married. That Christmas he bought me a ring, nothing fancy just a simple white gold band with small diamonds inside. I was disappointed it wasn't an engagement ring but a promise ring but we didn't call it that, it was just something to occupy my wedding finger till I got the ring I wanted and I didn't go running to tell my friends about my promise ring because it wasn't that big of a deal. Eight months later he proposed and I got a nice diamond engagement ring and we got married.
I think the thing about being "engaged to be engaged" is like when kids say I'm five....and a half. You know it'll happen and you want to be engaged but when people ask you about it you have to say something that let's them know you're in a serious relationship even though you are not engaged yet but it WILL happen, you're sure of it. The worst part is figuring out the guy is never going to want to marry you and he just doesn't know how to tell the person that really needs to know that, you.
16I'm in that phase now.
We know we are going to get married some day.
Right now isn't a good time, we are broke, he's going back to school & life is busy. So we are "dating" and living together.
We don't need any other title.
17Shoot, like Ang and Brad, some people just refer to him as my husband, cause it's easier.
Never heard of the term... weird
18ella I am in the same boat
19Sometimes the bf tells people we're engaged but I always correct him!
One of my close friends has been in an 'engaged to be engaged' situation twice. Honestly, I think it's the most ridiculous thing ever. She kept saying, 'oh we're planning on getting engaged'. Who PLANS on getting engaged? It's almost like they were setting a date for their engagement - so silly!
20LOL, my boyfriend and I are "engaged to be engaged". The only thing that's keeping us from being truly engaged is that we're both still in college. We've even talked about our future wedding.
I think things like this are extremely personal. If one couple thinks "engaged to be engaged" is tacky and stupid, that's fine with me.
21I have never heard of this term. You either are or you're not.
22I've never heard anyone use the phrase "Engaged to be engaged". I've heard of promise rings, but I think they are silly. Like Hootie said, that is something you do in high school.
23Will you almost maybe someday be engaged to me?
24Circle YES or NO.
Meet me at the monkey bars at 3:00.
It's probably for those who 'plan' on getting engaged. Kind of absurd.
25To each her own! We didn't have a formal engagement where I was proposed to or anything like that. We had talked about getting married a lot, but there was no way he/we could afford an engagement ring. One night at dinner we talked about it and I said I didn't want to wait a gazillion years until he/we could afford a ring, so we decided to get married sans engagement ring. From that night until our wedding was about 3 1/2 months. It didn't really seem like an "engagement" -- just the time it took to plan the wedding we decided to have over dinner. Not everyone's situation is as simple as dating --> engaged --> married. So if they want to use this term, who am I to say it's dumb?
26LOL@winniecooper
27I hate promise rings. I don't think that they are anything. It's no better than dating because you're not engaged yet. Don't all relationships aspire to be engagements one day? You wouldn't be in a relationship if you didn't think it was going to be forever.
28It's a silly phrase. What's wrong with just staying you're in a serious relationship or you're in love?
I think that jewelry, including rings, can be a cute gift, but it shouldn't be a "promise ring."
29To each their own...
30Sometimes you just know a person is "the one", but things like timing/financial situations/family/whatever comes in the way of actually getting engaged immediately. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married at some point, but right now our lives are in such flux that it doesn't make sense to buy an engagement ring and start planning a wedding. I, too, think the term "engaged to be engaged" is silly, but I want to point out that it's not at all weird to know that someone is the person you're going to marry but not yet be engaged to that person.
31I have never heard that saying however I guess I am "engaged to be engaged". My bf has the ring but he hasn't proposed yet. So he, I and a few others know the proposal is imminent yet I would never use that phrase about our relationship status.
32never heard of this term, but of course I have heard of being promised. My college roommate had a "promise" ring, it looked like the worlds smallest engagement ring- they barely made it through the first year of college.
Sounds like high school/early college. God Im glad Im not dating anymore.
33it's silly. never heard anyone over 21 use it. makes me think the person is afraid of stating their intentions so they are testing the waters. feel the same way about people who are engaged for years and never set a marriage date. make a decision and then follow through. less talk; more action.
34I DEFINITELY find it annoying!! In my mind it comes off as 'oh, we have a perfect relationship and we're getting married, but right now it's not right for us...but oh yeah, we have the perfect relationship'. That may make no sense at all, but it just irritates me haha.
35Lame and immature. Definitely for insecure girls.
36I've never heard of being engaged to be engaged. I'm currently engaged, we're not planning on getting married anytime soon really, within the next 3 years probably. So maybe I'm engaged to be engaged? haha. I don't know, I'm still in school and I want to get that done and over with before I even start thinking about planning a wedding.
37I've never heard that term before but my boyfriend gave me a promise ring our first Christmas together. We have been together 5 years and plan on getting engaged at the end of this year. It's not just a promise to propose one day...it's a promise to be faithful and to be there for each other. It's a simple token reminder of our love for each other. It's not silly...
38I think it's a doge. Like all of the happiness of being engaged and getting the ring, yet none of the pain and frustration of planning a wedding. You get the jewelry, but you don't have to plan the building of the life together... It's a bit brilliant..in a sly and crafty way.
39Hmm, interesting.As a matter of fact, a similar thing just happened to me this weekend. My boyfriend sort of "declared his intentions" i guess you could say. He told me loved very much, which is why he wants to propose-and also why he knows to let me pick the ring myself. So, basically, he told me to pick out a ring and send it to him and then he will buy it and propose. What is this called? It sort of floored me and I didn't really know how to respond. Is this common? Do tell!
40What is this called? A dumbass guy move.
I get that he wants you to get the ring you want, I guess, but he seems lazy and apathetic about it. Why didn't he suggest you two go together and look at rings? Then, he could get an idea what you like, figure out his budget, buy the ring and "surprise" you with it.
I think he is a bit insensitive, IMHO, sorry.
The whole engaged to be engaged is just stupid...very junior high. sh*t or get off the pot already.
41The term bugs me. My boyfriend and I are in love, serious and living together and I continuously have to stress to people that we are not engaged. Why do people need labels so badly? How-ever, I can handle the "engaged to be engaged" term better than promise rings. Eek!!!
42Engaged to be Engaged: I guess MY definition of that (other than bratty b*tches who like big bling on their finger just to say i'm f*kin a rich guy) would be that, the size, shape, coloration of the ring means nothing compared to what it represents. Really ladies, I know our men need help sometimes, but if a guy truly knows you, then what he has in mind for you is a true definition of his love for you. What could be better than that? A bigger version of what your co-worker has? I'm sorry, but Marriage is a very sacred and BEAUTIFUL thing. Don't eff around with any of the mindless material obsessions of the ever changing world around you, and think about what the ring means to you. What it means to HIM. That's what matters.
43Engaged to be engaged. Sounds like a term born of a cynic. By the way some people are really good at taking a perfectly good thing and putting a negative spin on it. Born from idealism that failed somehow. However lets stick to the subject and say that two people are engaged for the wrong reasons. That the engagement is not true or pure, or in some way the engagement is a farce. That is what the term implies. I've heard words like that before. Those terms are just a waste of breath and energy spoken out of anger and jealousy.
44Promise rings are just what they are. A sweet young gesture for some high school kids. Just stay a positive thinker and ask the person who's spouting off this crap for real information. They won't be able to put thier money where their mouth is, I guarantee it.
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