When you fall out of love with someone, doing the right thing and initiating a breakup can be easier said than done. After being in a long-term relationship, you inevitably become attached to the level of comfort and connectedness you've established, so it's no wonder people have such a hard time letting go.
So ladies, even though it's not the most respectable thing to do, tell me, have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than you should have out of fear of being alone?
Piquadro
Lanvin
My-Wardrobe.com
YES! I did this for 7 years! I stayed in a bad marriage thinking we could work things out and if it didn't work out, thinking I would never be in another relationship again, and was prepared to be the crazy cat lady at the end of the street, you know the one with 20+ cats. I'm happy to say it doesn't look like it's gonna pan out that way!
1No...I can't say that it was because I feared being alone. But I have stayed in doomed relationships for other reasons.
2And I've had guys stay with me longer than need be because they didn't want to be alone ... even when I initiated a break-up they wouldn't let go.
3I never stay in relationships out of fear of being alone. I stay until I know for certain that breaking up is the right decision. It might take me a while to come to that conclusion though.
4Oh yes. It lasted 2 years. I knew from the 6th month I didn't need to be with this person. He was abusive. In every way. One time I didn't want to show him my stomach..(I thought I was fat) and he picked me up threw me fully clothed into the bathtub that was full. And held me there until I showed him. I stayed with him for a year and a half more....It is the most painful experience of my life. Because the abuse didn't stop that night..It got far worse verbally. And I only stayed because I didn't want to be alone..
5I couldn't do this. I couldn't even go out with guys more than once if I didn't like them. I guess I just figure it's better to be alone than to be with someone wasting time. Plus it's not really fair to hold someone else up from having something good if you don't want them.
6I stayed well after I had realized there was nothing in the relationship for either of us. I did not want to be alone at all, and my boyfriend really had become my best friend. it seemed almost impossible to leave everything we had.
7No Way.
8Yes, it seems satisfaction is many peoples' terms of being happy...
9I stayed for three and a half years longer than I should have. I had broken up with my ex and found out a week later that I was pregnant, so I got back together and stayed with him for the sake of our son. Never again. I dated off and on for about a year after, but was real quick to move on, if I just wasn't feeling it and had kind of resigned myself to being terminally single, but I have met my Prince Charming and he isn't going anywhere.
10Oh yes - 4 years too long. What a waste that was - if I could go back and tell my younger self anything....
11No... and I'm pretty sure this is why I'm single.
12No, as being in the relationship was WORSE than being alone.
But truthfully, I've been very fortunate in the romance department. I've always gotten offers from men, even when I was unavailable. So was I afraid to leave a bad relationship?? No, when word got out I was single again, men beat a path to my door. One time, no exaggeration, when my then-boyfriend and I broke up, within a week, two men sent me flowers to "lift my spirits." Another man showed up at my office to take me out to lunch. My then ex-boyfriend and I were still in touch, and he laughed at how some men "wasted no time" trying to fill his shoes. Incidently, months later, we reconciled (we had resolved our issue).
So in other words, I've never been afraid to leave a bad relationship. I'm not afraid to be alone, though it doesn't last for long.
13No. I have no problem being alone. I'd actually prefer it.
14Yes but not out of fear of being alone and I only realised in retrospect that I'd fallen out of love. He was definitely my best frend plus he was wonderful, caring loving and we were great together so it's easy to confuse that with love.
15Yep - seems like Sporky and I have a similar story.
16I think I may have done this once with my current boyfriend because we were very young (senior year of high school) when we started dating. I don't think it was literally a fear of being alone, more like a fear of losing him and making a mistake. I am pretty sure we have been through every bad cliched relationship problem, except cheating and abuse simply because it's our first serious relationship and I guess we practiced on each other.
Now we have an absolutely fantastic relationship, but now that I'm more mature, if I were in another relationship and had problems similar to the ones we had in the beginning of our relationship, it would be splitsville!! You do crazy things when you're young, I kind of consider that part of our relationship completely separate from the last three years.
17Yup, guilty
18I've never been in the situation so I can't say if I would or wouldn't. I'd rather be alone than be in a relationship that I know isn't going anywhere. Both my Mom and my SIL (Husband's sister) are in relationships they know aren't right for them but they don't want to end up alone forever. I couldn't do it to myself. I'd feel dirty and used. That being said I'd probably try and rationalize it and say that we were just going through a rough patch. But if I KNEW I didn't want to be with this guy I wouldn't do it anymore.
My SIL is in love with my husband's best friend and he likes her too but she won't dump her boyfriend who she knows she doesn't want to be with. It's frustrating.
My Mom's boyfriend is totally a waste of space. He's got 5 kids with 3 mothers and he won't get a real job because he doesn't want to pay it all in child support. He does under the table manual labor jobs that aren't reliable. He never has enough money to pay the rent or get my Mom gifts on her birthday or holidays. It's really sad. She's tried to break up with him so many times and she always takes him back because he can't survive on his own and because she's lonely.
19Yes, but not for the reason that he had become my best friend or anything...
20I hooked up with a guy one night and he assumed we were boyfriend-girlfriend from then on...it lasted 3 months because I was just going along with what he said and it felt better than being alone.
Nowdays, I'd rather be happy alone than unhappily attached.
absolutely.
21co-sign w/ RustyAngel!!
22No way. I'm of the "rip the ban-aid off" mentality. I'd rather be alone than miserable with the wrong guy.
23BAND. Not ban. I really wish we could edit comments. I've seen that feature on other blogs.
24BAND. Not ban. I really wish we could edit comments. I've seen that feature on other blogs.
25Is it something totally different and worse to get into a realtionship when the guy really likes you but you don't like, you just get into a relationship because you're tired of being alone. Becuase I've done that.
26NO WAY!
27not at all. thats bullsh*t. i know that i could get a great guy whenever i want to. i would never be with a guy just because i dont wanna end up alone. thats cheating on myself.
28Yes, guilty. I dragged things out with one guy when I knew things weren't quite on track. I was hoping to meet someone new in the meantime.
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