My best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and of course, I accepted without hesitation. The maid of honor and my best friend's mother planned the bachelorette party, but only days before the scheduled party date. The other bridesmaids live several hours away and because of the last-minute planning were unable to come. It also happened to fall on my grandmother's birthday. My grandfather recently passed away with cancer, and since then my grandmother has been having a very difficult time. I felt that I should be there for my grandmother (who is turning 74), especially since this is the first one since my grandfather passed away.

The day of the bachelorette party, my best friend's mom called and asked me to reconsider. She said my friend's feelings were hurt because only two bridesmaids were able to go. She also said that this was a "once in a lifetime" thing, and that birthdays can be celebrated every year. Now, my best friend and her mother are mad at me because I didn't go to the party. Obviously I couldn't control the fact that the other bridesmaids couldn't go. Not to mention, my friend has two bridal showers coming up this month, I assured them I would be at and happy to help with. But apparently that wasn't good enough.

Was I so wrong to pass up on an all-night drinking/clubbing fest for the sake of celebrating my widowed grandmother's birthday? I understand that this was a special event for my friend, but my family is important to me. What would you all do in a situation like this?

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