I probably would have pulled the friend that brought him aside and told him if his friend doesn't know how to be respectful to people then he should leave him at home. I do not like people who don't know how to keep their mouths shut and constantly make others around them feel uncomfortable.

I think the worst part about someone like that is, they seem to be the only ones that never get embarrassed or care about anyone elses feelings. It's the other people that get embarrassed FOR that person.

Racist jokes/stories are unacceptable...I think calling him out publically was the BEST thing you could have done.

To wait and do it privately would give the impression that you agreed wth his behavior.

But that's just me. I will call you on the carpet in a heartbeat if necessary. I do not tolerate disrespectful behavior from anyone. I WILL NOT ignore it because I believe that enables a person and allows them to contiously believe they are correct.

In some instances a person REALLY does not get that they are being offensive and to keep quiet they never learn that they are indeed inappropriate

Don't let him make you feel bad. He was embarassed and tried to turn the sitaution around. GOOD FOR YOU!

That is just not tolerable at all, in any setting, anymore. When I was a teenager, I threw a party when the parents were away. Next thing you know, there were obvious skinheads there. I asked them first if they were, they said yes, and I told them to leave. Now. They did without another word said. No one bothered to even ask who or what they were.

The hostess did her job, and threw out the trash.

You did the right thing, too.

I agree with the ladies above: sometimes you have to embarrass people to get them to fully understand that they did something wrong. Because you tried to change the subject and he blatantly ignored you doing so, he deserved what he got. I would have done the same thing.

I commend you for standing up and saying something. Honestly, a lot of people are terrified of offending someone, who is already offending them, just stand up for yourself or those around you. I might be a bit brash or say stuff before thinking..that's not great, but I am the first to say something when someone else is out of line. I'm sure everyone else in the group wanted to say something but didn't because they were afraid for the same reasons you are now worried you were out of line.

Good for you. What a jerk!

I don't understand the question. You did take the high road. And good for you!

That was a true jerk in the flesh! I can't BELIEVE that he say that in an environment that included people of all backgrounds. Obviously he didn't bother to think before he opened his mouth. At least everyone else can see him for what he is now.

Well done. He should be ashamed of himself: 1) for telling the story and 2) for accusing you of being too sensitive.

I've done the exact same thing in the past and don't feel the least bit sorry for it. Jaxon is right that to say nothing would have been an endorsement of his behavior. Obviously he's so out of touch with what's appropriate conversation in mixed company, it was time for a reality check. His reaction was just defensiveness and I'm sure only made him look like a bigger ass.

i should hope that other people were proud of you and no one condemned you for what you did...therefore no need to even ask if you did the right thing - you did! and you stood up for your friends and fellow guests

I think you did the right thing. Too many people keep their mouths shut.

I would stand up for myself and others who didn't have the courage too. nice job girl.

it doesnt sound to me like she "blew up" at him it just sounds like she asked him not to tell the story.. how is that wrong in any way. he was making people uncomfortable, and she spoke up. thats not taking the low road? how is it any different from if a person of the race he was making fun of was at the table, and that person said it was offensive?

What you said was just fine! There's no high road in this situation.

honestly I've done it before at parties when people start cracking racist jokes

i look them dead in the eyes [completely dead pan. no smile]
and say "That's not cool. That's really offensive and I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak like that around here"

when the few times i've had people protest i follow up with
"It's not your house, and there are people other than me who are offended by what you said. Either watch what you say and be polite, or please leave."

You took the high road, and it looks like you waited until it was clear that you weren't the only one who was offended. If he's all up in your face about being sensitive, perhaps he should take a look at the expressions of the other people around him and realize it's just him being a jackass.

Racist comments should not be tolerated and you had every right to speak up. I know a lot of people who would not have said anything because they didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. Not saying anything makes the person think that what they said is okay.

Id have said, "better then being an insensitive c**k like you".

Wonderful job! You had every right to stand up for what you believed in. And you believed that him and his story was racist. You believed he was making other people, just like you, very uncomfortable.

I'm glad that you were brave enough to speak up. And I'm sure your friends of all races appreciated you too that night. Again, great job!

I applaud you! You made the right move!

As much as he may have made a big deal out of you speaking up, it was good that someone actually did. I'm sure that everyone at that party, including your mutual friend, agreed with you and they were happy to see this guy get what he deserved!

I agree with you speaking up.

Personally, I don't think I would have, due to my personality. I may have given him a hard look, and rolled my eyes. And then I may have proceeded to walk away to the other end of the room, as far away from him as possible. When it comes to a rude situation, I'm more about action than speech. LOL

Personally I would not have spoken up in the way this girl did... I mean it was the politically correct thing to do but a lot of people will probably think wow this girl is a little too uptight or wow she is really up on her pedestal isn't she. If I were her I would have let him make a fool of himself; his story speaks for itself! Most of the guests probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to him afterwards anyway. I might have thrown in a "WOW.. okay...." afterwards that would show that you didn't agree with it and that he was being a dickhead.

I would have spoken up too...I think it was the right thing to do in this situation for sure.

You DID take the high road. Good for you. There is no "political correctness" as far as I'm concerned. In my world racism isn't acceptable - period. I won't and don't tolerate it.

You DID take the high road. Good for you. There is no "political correctness" as far as I'm concerned. In my world racism isn't acceptable - period. I won't and don't tolerate it.

You did take the high road! Jaxon was completely right-you needed to speak up to show your disapproval. I am sure a lot of other people were thinking the same thing you were, and didn't have the courage to say anything. We care way too much about not causing any problems when we're in the company of friends, but racist jokes are just NOT acceptable.

Yeah, and it isn't just "political correctness." Not being racist does not make me politically correct, it makes me a decent person. You don't get brownie points for not being an *sshole, it should just be expected! (You do get brownie points for speaking up though! )

Political correctness="womyn" instead of "women." (I'm a total feminist, so I get to poke fun!) Haha, or referring to dark-skinned Jamaican citizens as "African-American." I had a professor who insisted on calling all black people "African-Americans" regardless of whether or not they were African, American, or either.

*neither, I meant to say! Ahgh triple post!

you totally did the right thing. i hate when people make racist jokes. it is totally unacceptable.

You did the right thing. I'm hoping that other people came to your defense, after he tried to turn it around on you.

Good for you, brave girl.

You had the courage to say what I'm guessing most of the people wanted to say to the jerk - so good for you, and don't give it a second thought. I'm not surprised that he played the 'sensitive' card, either.

You did the right thing girl!

I think you did take the high road. Too many people are afraid to speak up in situations like that. By keeping quiet, you're basically telling him it's okay.

Good for you; way to go! The only thing I have to add is that I would have responded to his comments about me being too sensitive with remarks about him being insensitive and inconsiderate.

You did the right thing.

By speaking up, you probably lifted something thick out of the air at that party.

I hope you also spoke to your friend who seems to like having this person around. Not to attack them, maybe they don't realize that they are being insensitive to so many other people. Or maybe they're just a real jerk.