Couples Counselling. If that doesnt work, time to move on.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

YOu don't love him - you're afraid of being alone. Do what's fair to him and yourself and end the relationship.

Well, if you don't respect him most of the time and if you feel like he isn't what you want then I think you know what's coming. It sounds like you do love him, but you're not IN love with him and that's perfectly fine. But just don't keep dragging on the relationship. It'll hurt him more that way. I would suggest maybe couples counseling but from what you have said it sounds like you're minds made up. You just can't force something that isn't there you know.

All I want to add is that when I got engaged, MANY people - on all separate occasions - told me "don't ever forget to RESPECT one another" when congratulating me on the news. I was surprised at the time (seems like such a random thing to hear from so many people when you tell them about your engagement!) but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Without respect for the person you are with, there is nothing to really keep your heart in the relationship.

If you don't respect him 100%, don't tie yourself down to what you want him to be. He's not it. Let him go so that, in the future, you'll have the chance to find someone you can love AND respect.

I think you two should live separately for a while. don't break up. don't take a break. just stop living together for a short time.

This is why you dont move in together, you put yourself in a position where you have no easy out.

You should live with each other it's easy to break relation's either then building newone's.

could you be any more vague about your relationship issues?

You should read your own post and I mean really read it......and think about it and you'll probably realize there isn't really a question to ask.

You don't respect him........Why in hell would you want to be with someone that you don't/can't respect?? What would be the point?

"I want him to be the one I want" is not the same as "He is the one I want." It sounds like you are just really reluctant to give it after putting so much time in it even though you feel like it has run its course. Sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him about the relationship, see if you guys are on the same page. If both of you want to work on it, then remember that both of you have to put effort into it. If not, you may have to accept that he's just not the guy for you and end things. Best of luck either way.

Ok ok. Maybe I was vague because no one is realizing how much I really love him. I am not scared of being alone and it would ten hundred times easier to walk away. We have just become distant. Or maybe I have become distant.

The lack of sex is my fault. And I think that that is what is putting distance between us. Obviously when you are no longer intimate that will happen. Ok. Why is it my fault that we aren't having sex? Its like we are on two different schedules. Sex has become routine and it is not what I want. Plus I got on an antidepressant about 4 months ago, and they say that can affect you too. Either way, I know I have to work on that.

I don't know why everyone thinks it is such a bad idea that I want to figure out a way to make this work. Married couples go through this stuff and a lot of them work it out.

I love him and like I said I want to fix this. I just want to know if that is possible. Atleast trying to explain it on here has made me realize a little more.

I can completely understand your wanting to work things out. To me, someone who's been in a very long term relationship (11 Years) I just feel that if in the first 2 years, you have been through this much already, one day you may end up saying WOW, why didn't I go then when I knew it was going to work. Just my opinion though. Only because I think it should take quite a while for things to get rocky if you really have a good relationship. That being said..........

I understand how the sex part can be hard sometimes. Sometimes you will go through times when it just isn't there for whatever reason, no matter who's fault. just say the heck with being tired....once your in the mood you usually wake right up! If you need more help, just tell him you miss him and you want to be intimate, but ask if he could be a little more attentative to you......

It is possible to fix things if you both want to. So your best bet is to sit down and have a serious talk. I find it easier to write down where I think problems are because once you sit down and start talking it's really easy to get off track and the next thing you know you are talking about things that don't even have anything to do with the REAL problem.

Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Well, I think everyone said what they said because in your post you talked about not respecting him. That's one of the major things that makes a relationship work. I think what everyone else was getting at was that there's no point in being with someone if you're not going to respect them. But yeah, if you feel you want to work things out with him then by all means go ahead. Just be sure to treat him how you would want to be treated. Good luck!

I'm almost in the same position as you, Grizz. My bf and I have been together for two and a half years next month, but I'm beginning to question whether I still want to be in a relationship. I love him, he loves me, we have a long history together, but my life is moving forward and he's staying in the same place. I want the two of us to work, but I keep getting caught on the issue that he isn't working to improve his life in the ways I think he should. Of course, then I feel bad that I'm trying to impose my own sense of what he should do on him. Who am I to tell him how to live? But also, is it wrong of me to want someone with my same sense of ideals and goals? Is love enough to overcome differing views like religion, kids, and education? Am I thinking too much?

Talking with him is a great idea. I've expressed my thoughts to my bf many times, and each time we try to work on improving ourselves. Maybe where I'm going wrong is that I stay even when things don't change. Listen to your guy, or pray, or write a list, but make sure your beau knows how you feel!

If you want to work things out than you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. I'm pretty sure that if you love each other you can work through anything together as long as both of you want to make it work. Sit down and talk about it and see what he wants out of you and see if he can do what you need from him.

I have been in a similar situation. I understand that you feel like it could or should work but really, that isn't a good enough reason to stay. Go ahead and have a heart to heart with him but please be honest with yourself before you talk to him. Listen to your closest friends and family, and go from there. Best of luck, girl!

Woah....slow down there girlfriend. Sounds like a lot is going on all at once. One of the number one difficulties in relationships is separating yourself from "us."I commend you for wanting to try and work this out, most people pull out with the excuse "he/she wasn't right for me" yet end up finding themselves in a similar spot in the next relationship. Before you assume that what ever is going on is about your boyfriend, or you and your boyfriend, how about turning the questions back to you? Where are you in your life right now? Are there any similarities between the questions your asking about your relationship and where you are right now? Most wonderfully loving and deeply satisfying relationships take a lot of honest investigation of both partners, your relationship can be a great mirror of yourself. Find some help, friends are good at times, but may have there own agenda about you and your man. Get some help from a therapist, maybe start by going alone, nothing bads going to happen if you give it a few weeks or months of new learning. Good luck:)