When a very attractive guy asks you out to dinner, you happily agree. He’s right on time to pick you up, brings you flowers, and opens the car door for you. He certainly seems chivalrous, and the conversation is absolutely wonderful too.
But before your appetizer has even arrived, he’s launched into a story about how he’s currently involved in a sexual harassment case in which he’s the defendant. He tries to play the whole thing off, but his admission and the circumstances of the suit (involving an underage intern) have you feeling pretty uncomfortable. He won’t stop talking about it, and he appears to be awaiting your response, so how would you handle this?
Browns Fashion
Lanvin
Mark Davis
This would be a very weird situation for me- one bc it is just ODD that he would bring it up on a first date, however I saw firsthand a girl falsely accuse a teacher of being inappropriate with her (his wife even called me 3 YEARS later and asked me if I would testify for him and I couldnt believe it was still dragging on) and I also talked to another girl from my high school that told me that her fiance's ex falsely accused a coach at our school of harrassment as well. So I have seen that accusations doesnt always mean there is any truth in it- but I would be very uncomfortable jumping into a relationship with someone who had been accused.
1I usually try to be polite and diplomatic in unpleasant situations. I would try very hard to change the subject, try to be polite through dinner which hopefully moves very quickly. Then lose his number for good. This behavior to me indicates 2 possibilities.
21.He's got no social skills what so ever and doesn't understand proper etiquette or behavior.
2. He knows what he's doing is wrong, but He likes baiting people and he is just trying to agitate to see what kind of a response he gets.
Either way its off.
I should point out its not that he's been accused. People are falsely accused all the time and I hope I could be mature enough to give someone the opportunity to explain their side of the story. For me the issude is that he chooses to bring it up right at the beginning of a first date. I am definietly a believer in not giving out too much information on the first date.
3I would definitely be polite and diplomatic... well as much as possible b/c sometimes my temper can get a little crazy although I'm a "mother" at heart lol... but I'd need to know his side and decide how genuine he is about telling the story. After that there would be a discussion as to why he felt the need to bring it up in the first place because we just met. I can't believe that he would trust me from the gate. Then there's always the option to just skip dessert and head home with NO option for a second date.
4Yeah. I find the creepy part of it not to be that he's got the accusation - though that's not ideal - but that he thinks it's appropriate to bring up on a first date--hello, first impressions! Weirdo.
5This happened to me!!!!! It happened about 6 years ago.... i was 21 give or take.
6We met and hit it off at a friend of a friends party.
I gave him my number and we had a few good convos over 2 weeks (he lived 3 hrs away)
He ended planning on coming down for a few days to see his friends and take me out on a date.
The day he was going to pick me up i got bombarded with phone called from friends telling me that he had a rap charge pressed against him earlier in the week.
Gesh!
So i ended up calling him and asking him about what happened. Of course his side of the story was all flowers and clouds.
I called other people who new him and asked what they thought.
I ended up telling him i thought he was a nice guy and i really hoped this was not true and i wished him well.
I did not go out with him.
He called me a few more times but no dice.
**rape charge
not "rap charge" lol!
7Well, I'm sure we all know someone who has been falsely accused, and usually things will clear up and their friends and family will stick by them. I mean, my friend's boyfriend was falsely accused, and a new teacher at my school also was, but both were cleared and everyone loves them. The teacher, five years later is even the vice principal now, he's fantastic.
But....this is a first date, it's nice that he was trying to be honest, but "playing it off" just isn't going to work. No one has any reason to stick by someone after a FIRST date, I definitely would not go on a second...
8I would be scared.
9I would appreciate his honesty, but since it's only a first date, I'd probably just politely finish the meal and then disappear. Even if he's innocent, it's not the kind of situation I'm interested in dealing with. There are too many guys out there to be slowed down by one with a trial date!
10what?! I totally did not see that coming... let's see, how would I handle this? uhhhh, DUMP!!!!!! I don't know of any other way that you would handle this...
11jill so true!
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