meh, each to his own!

OMG, DEAR!!!! Not every girl dreams of a wedding. I hate this ridiculous stereotype. I'm so mad, I can't even think clearly. Jessica & Cash's wedding sounds perfect. If I could convince my boyfriend to do something like this, I totally would.

as a celebrity especially, i can totally understand the concept of a small wedding, private, no invitations, a quick decision with little lead-up (although that's not the way i would want to do it, i can understand some people's desire for this) - but i cannot imagine not wanting to at least have your family there, at least have a nice dress, at least have it somewhere nice like a park, or an island, or your backyard, or your cottage.....especially someone like jessica who would have access to tons of beautiful venues, including (probably) her own backyard with pool etc. i do find this sad, as well, and i would never want this!

i have friends who went to costa rice, just the two of them, and tied the knot, and a couple who went heli-skiing with the judge and did it at the top of a mountain - i am not totally hung up on the fairly tale wedding scenario, because i know not everyone would roll that way, but a court house? city hall? that's so institutional and sad!

javs, I agree with you!

I o back and forth with that. I know my bf wants something like that but I couldn't imagine getting married without my mom there. If t was just us two and my mom then I would do it.

It's not what I would want, but my wedding, even with guests, is going to be a bit small. I just want to wear a pretty dress and have people see me. lol

I just got married last week...at the courthouse with just our parents present. I don't get what the big deal is about spending a zillion dollars for a "fairytale wedding". In reality it's really about the couple making a commitment to each other...not so much about the fancy dress, cake and venue.

I actually though about this quite a bit. And it's true that not all women dream of a wedding but for those of us who do this does sound a little sad. Then again if it's what they want then go for it. I just got married and we only had about 25 people so it wasn't big at all but I definitely wouldn't have wanted just the two of us there. I think the point of a wedding is to share your joy with people who are special to you. As far as I'm concerned the wedding itself was more for other people to join in on our love than to prove anything to each other so it just wouldn't make sense to me to have a wedding without family and friends

While its not the most romantic way to do things - there is nothing wrong with it. I had to do it the same way but in actuality as long as the bride and groom are there who can complain?

I just find it sad that more and more celebs have shotgun weddings. I understand the importance of an intimate ceremony, but Jessica has a killer body and would look great in a nice dress even if it was just her and Cash. I see this quick marriage as nothing but paperwork in preperation for their baby and tax write-offs.

I saw this couple get married at one of my favorite places with just the judge and you know what? It was more amazing then some lavish wedding at the Ritz. Tori and Dean did the same thing in Fiji and I like that.

The only thing I find sad is that there wasn't a single family member or friend present. I hear she's close with her brother, why wasn't he invited? It just seems strange; I couldn't imagine not having at least my parents present.
There's nothing wrong with getting married at a courthouse in my opinion and they seem like a very private couple. plus not everyone wants to go through the hassle of planning a huge, over-priced wedding.

I actually begged my hubby to go to Vegas and elope. I was not one of those girls who sat around dreaming about my wedding, and that didn't change once we got engaged. I wanted to fly out and get married and just have it done with -- we could spend the money we would have spent on a wedding just enjoying Vegas. Unfortunately, he's an only child and his parents would have been devastated, so we opted for a small (around 75 people), low-cost ceremony and it was a great day -- but I still would have eloped in a heartbeat!

My boyfriend wants to, but I can't make up my mind whether getting married in court is enough of a wedding. Maybe it's because of the culture I grew up in, but having something so simplified might actually hurt my family's feelings. They have dreams about my wedding too that they would like to see come true, and I don't want to deny them the party they've wanted for the past 27 years.

Hey, I got married like that!

I was so stressed about planning the 'prefect' wedding that one day, while crying to my fiancee on the phone about pricing/planning/the flower girl's shoes he said, "Let's just forget all this and go get married this weekend at the courthouse. The sooner we get married, the sooner we can celebrate our 50th anniversary."

I couldn't say no to that and I'm so incredibly happy I didn't.

It's okay, guys, I think they did this so that they are married before their daughter arrives, and afterwards, they will have a bigger scale soiree that you all are expecting with their bundle of joy present.

I got married at the county court house, but my mom, grandfather, sister and husband's mom and step dad were there. It was quick and simple but wonderful all the same. I didn't need a big wedding. I honestly think it's stupid that people think you should go and spend tons of money on a wedding..I'd rather have that to decorate after we move into our first apartment or house or whatever.. And I didn't stress like most people do, I was a pleasant and nice experience. I don't regret not having the huge wedding. I'm not that kind of person.

One of my best friends eloped in Vegas - just her and her man. They have an amazing marriage, 10 years later, so no one thinks that was sad (well except maybe her mom)

we had a civil ceremony with just parents and siblings, then a huge party about an hour later. In retrospect, I thought it wouldn't matter if we had 0 witnesses or 100 -- either way you are just totally focused on your soon-to-be spouse. It's kinda neat!

lizrocks -- that is so sweet!!!!

I used to wanting a lavish wedding, but as time goes on I realize its just a party for the family and i hate planning. I rather have a big rock on my finger hehehehe

I think it's awesome that they had a low-key ceremony instead of a tacky media circus like Pete and Ashlee just had. It's about them becoming man and wife, not about a dress or flowers.

I'm sure they were happy with that, but I would never do it like that. I had a small ceremony in Chile with my husband's family (about 40 people were there), and in the U.S. I'm going to have a larger one with my friends and family there. I love celebrating something so great with everyone important to me!

She was just trying not to have a bastard child. Besides the rumor is there is going to be a big wedding later.

I agree NOT everyone wants some big "fairy tale" wedding. As a matter of fact some big weddings come across quite pathetic. People put all this energy into kinda showing off how many people came to their wedding. Then they wonder how come their marriage didn't even last a year. I've seen several brides invite people they can't even stand to their wedding, what's the point? Just so you can have a big party? Of course not all big wedding planners are like this some people need a legit huge wedding.

It seems kinda unromantic but then again, thats just my opinion. The paperwork side is just the reality when all the champagne and balloons are done anyway.

Nah, I'm definitely not one of those girls who dreams of a "fairytale" wedding; in fact, I don't even think about my future wedding. Even if I do, I think I want something small and simple. I understand some people want something more extragavant, but it does sometimes come across as tacky.

i agree with a few of the posters that she'll most likely have a big wedding after their baby is born.

as for myself...wedding seem stressful. i don't want a huge over the top affair. i want something small, beautiful and intimate. not a courthouse wedding though...seems sterile and not very romantic.

I wish we were doing it this way. Get married just the two of us and then have a party later. Of course, I feel more this way because my FMIL has made it perfectly clear that our wedding has nothing to do with us and it's all about her. So, I don't even feel like it's my wedding. But, at the end of the day I just want to be married to my fiance and that's what it's all about.

I'm glad that they decided to do it like that, so that is it something that they can cherish. It has be hard to be famous and want to have something as special as your wedding private and just for yourself. Im sure that they will have some sort of big todo after she has the baby, so that their friends and family can join in too. I would do it the same way quite and private then let everyone else enjoy the party later.

The thing that seems a little sad to me is that none of their family or friends were there. Yes I'm sure they did do it so they'd be married when the baby comes, but I'd at least want my immediate family there! The most important thing I want at my wedding is the people I care about there to celebrate with me. I guess not everyone cares as much about that to me, but I'd be sad if no one else I knew was there with me.

it seems to me they just wanted to get married before their daughter was born and they'll have a party later on...

but i agree with some posters, not every girl dreams of getting married, i absolutely hate that stereotype! i never dreamed of having a huge wedding party, i can't even picture myself ever walking down an isle, i will probably just elope or get married in city hall too...

I understand why they did it -- to avoid paparazzi and having a bastard child -- but I still think it's depressing. I don't want a big wedding, but I would be miserable if I got married without a single friend or family member present. It's too big of a deal to do it alone!

Also, this reminds me of that question on here a few weeks ago about why so many celebrities keep getting knocked up out of wedlock. I wonder why they all allow that to happen. Birth control isn't hard, and a high-paid celeb can surely afford it. I know you don't *have* to be married to have kids, but it's strange that so many young stars just kind of shrug and let it happen. (Ashlee, Nicole, Jessica, etc.) This is also depressing to me!

The idea of a small wedding sounds ok to me. What I find more sad is that they rushed to get it done before she squirted out the baby. Something about shotgun weddings, in this day and age, really bring me down, like it's a big compromise for two people who weren't ready to get hitched yet or something.

I think courthouse weddings can be just perfect if it's what you want. I had a friend who's parents lived and worked together for 7 years and then went to the courthouse on their lunch break and came back to work together afterwards--it's a super cute story. To me the sad part is that there has been something about this whole pregnancy that I can't put my finger on where Jessica *still* doesn't seem comfortable in her own skin. ..I worry she (or Cash?) isn't ready and that makes me sad.

Sunnyheart, I soooooooooo agree. I think she didn't want to be pregnant in the first place, has been miserable all along, and will probably have a tough time adjusting to motherhood. Once again, I can't believe that a wealthy and seemingly-average-intelligence person such as Jessica Alba could fail so badly in the birth control department.

I've seen a civil ceremony at a courthouse, and to tell the truth, it was very romantic because the couple was obviously very much in love with each other. Not having all the usual "wedding trappings" around actually made it feel much more sincere and much less artificial. It's a feeling I'll carry with me forever. Yeah, even little cynical unromantic me.

I've been to big fluffy white dress weddings, too, and I tend to enjoy myself, but the thing I remember the most from those are the clothes, the setting, the other stuff. Not so much the love of the couple - not that it was absent entirely, it's just not the thing that sticks in my memory because there's all that other flashy stuff around taking up more room in my head.

Think about it. What's a standard "dream wedding"?

1) Getting to be royalty for a day? Everyone paying attention to you, all eyes and cameras on you, etc... Celebrities get that every day, anyway.

2) Beautiful location? Again, not something that is rare to celebs.

3) Fantastic jewelry and clothes that cost a fortune? Ditto.

4) Great big party with great food, drinks and a huge cake? Celebs can afford to throw parties any old time they want.

If you're constantly surrounded by attention and glamour, maybe a special day for you would be a day without those. Like a day at the old courthouse.

Maybe they didn't want the privacy of their family and friends invaded by being with them in a very public place.

[blockquote]hotstuff: I've seen several brides invite people they can't even stand to their wedding, what's the point?[/blockquote]
To rub it in their face. Now that IS sad.

I find it even more sad that two people get married and all everyone is thinking is how SAD their wedding day seemed. Maybe their family and friends didn't approve. Or maybe they just don't give two crap what anyone else thinks. Even more, it could be just lie that no one else was there. Maybe this "close source" is mad because THEY weren't there.

Especially since a majority of people in society will criticize you for bringing a child into a relationship without being married.

Oh, but to answer the question, I think, however and whenever two people decide to get married is perfect, because for their own reasons it was done that way.

I don't believe in marriage.

DearSugar, stop projecting your own feelings onto others. You should know better than that. Your outlook is inaccurate.

Personally, I don't think it's sad, as this was THEIR choice. They got married exactly the way they wanted. I think every couple should do it that way. If it means having a wedding, great. If not, great, too.

Incidently, I got married similarly to Jessica. It was exactly the way we wanted to do it. You may be sad for us, but we certaintly weren't.

"Sunnyheart, I soooooooooo agree. I think she didn't want to be pregnant in the first place, has been miserable all along, and will probably have a tough time adjusting to motherhood. Once again, I can't believe that a wealthy and seemingly-average-intelligence person such as Jessica Alba could fail so badly in the birth control department."

Since we're talking about this I think she totally tried to trap him! Remember, right before she got pregnant he broke up with her and then all of a sudden he got her a ring? Just saying...

If a couple wants to get married privately and alone, I see nothing wrong with that. To each their own as many say.

For myself however, I'd prefer a quaint, highly-personalized ceremony and reception involving people I know and care about. An intimate gathering. That's ideal for me.

I definitely won't be one of those brides acting crazy...crying over everything and making a scene. I never understood that. Yes we all want our weddings to go well, but seriously, it's about getting married to the one we love over anything else. If a few balloons wind up missing from the arrangement, yeah that's not preferred, but it's fine! I am still getting married...I am still celebrating.

This sounds absolutely perfect to me, I hate the thought of a big wedding and I'd never want to be an annoying bridezilla.

I jump between thoughts. A ceremony and family there is really nice to have, but I think about personal issues such as my parents being separated and my dad not being mature enough to speak to my mom (my college graduation was already stressful enough!) as well the money. I know families often help and there is no way my parents would be able to afford giving money, so sometimes I think about just running away and getting married quietly.

Would I? I already did! I'm a private, quiet person, and never ever wanted a traditional or fairy-tale type of wedding.

I've never regretted my choice, either.

I would definitely opt for this, but probably still throw some kind of after-party to celebrate with a few close family and friends.

I really think that it's awful to make so many assumptions about this poor girl's life. I also hate the term "bastard child"...however fitting or accurate someone might think it is I think it's an awful label for a baby and very outdated. How do we know whether or not they just didn't decide on a whim that they'd like a nice little private ceremony...and there's nothing wrong with that.

Lil Maw: I don't know about the others, but I used the term "bastard" kind of tongue-in-cheek. It doesn't come across that way in print, though, it seems. It's not the child's fault his/her parents couldn't be bothered to do things in a way that would make its life easier.

hotstuff: now that you mention it, I could definitely see Jessica getting pregnant for that reason, given the timeline. But it seems like she's regretting it now that the reality of pregnancy is hitting her in the face!

To those who said they would rather get married the way Jessica and Cash did instead of a huge ceremony, isn't there a happy medium? You don't have to book an expensive venue and buy a ridiculous dress to make it a special day. I guess for some people, just them and the officiant are all they need, but I would think that for the majority, it would be nice to have at least a few important people there, too, and maybe some kind of celebration. Not necessarily expensive, but something to mark the occasion.

OK, now that I've calmed down a bit...

There is a happy medium, Jillerin, and that's what I would do if I got married (I would still prefer eloping to even a small ceremony, but I will compromise). I just want a party. No ceremony, no aisle walking, no gifts. Just my friends, family, delicious vegan food (if my boyfriend won't agree to eloping, then he can compromise by having a vegan wedding), wine, & dancing. I think my biggest thing with weddings is that I grew up in a very conservative Christian family and there are just so many sexist elements to a wedding that I could never participate in it. I know others don't see it that way and that's great for them, but I just can't do it. I'm also a very private person (that's why I'm telling you personal info on the internet...ha ha) and I just cannot imagine saying vows in front of people. I also think that big weddings can take away from what's really important--the marriage. While I don't think it's wrong to celebrate a marriage, I don't like how focused our society is on getting married (not staying married, just getting married). Any 2 fools can get married, I just don't see why we have to get so worked up about it.

That's like a million thoughts in one paragraph, but there you have.

it.

One more for the "no wedding production needed" camp. Although I was more moved by saying and hearing our vows out loud (at our elopement site) than I thought I would be, I feel like a big wedding ceremony is unnecessary. The vows are between the couple - I don't believe in that "marriage is for the community" vibe I often get at church weddings. I would have felt completely ridiculous saying our vows for an audience.

only sad if she didn't want to do it this way. she doesn't come off as the type that does anything she doesn't want to though. and they got to have it in private and the photogs got nothing so that was probably very satisfying to her.

and yes i'd do it. it's actually what i wanted to do. it was my dh and my mother that wanted the whole big wedding thing.

As soon as I read about this, I knew Jessica Alba just wanted to make sure she was wed when her baby arrived NEXT MONTH. I'm sure they'll have a lavish event as soon as she no longer has baby fat. After all, she's admitted she doesn't want to be fat like her mom. Also, DUH, getting pregnant was an obvious attempt to trap Cash. She broke up with him a few weeks before she announced her pregnancy because he wasn't willing to commit, and now, they're back together. All of a sudden, this commitment-phobe (Cash) even proposed, and they had a shotgun wedding. It seems a wee wit too manipulated and contrived...Just saying!

Ohh! Wow, I totally went off on a tangent. My boyfriend's parents got married in Vegas with no one in attendance, and he wants the same thing, just to save money and the hassle of rounding everyone up for a couple of days. Since we're not getting married anytime soon, I'm not losing sleep over it, but...I'm not sure what I'll end up doing. I do want a beautiful wedding, but I would rather contribute to a down payment on a house...