My current bf is the only guy that I have ever dated that I was not attracted to right off the bat (he's alot different than my 'type'). However, the more I hung out with him, the more I began to see him in THAT light...so not surprisingly, I'm the one that finally made the first move And now he is simply precious!

I absolutely believe that my boyfriend is the one. we met online and finally met face to face at a cafe.i cant say that he or i liked each other at all.there was always something that kept us from thinking beyond our coffee. we broke up after 2 months of dating. finally we reconnected and have been inseparable ever since. we have found out so much about each other in almost two years, there has been tough moments when we thought this is not meant to be but we stuck it out. we love each other to death and we have so much further to go .but all in time we have gotten far. i am all for taking time to learn a person. so rewarding.

I've never been attracted to someone in a way that only grew over time.

If its not there in the beginning then chances are you just arent that sexually into the person.

I mean how would that even work anyways?

Oh, at first I wasnt the least bit turned on by you but now that I've looked at you for several days/weeks/months I've realized that yes, I do want to make out with you.

?

For me, a deep attraction doesn't exist until I know the person - his personality and such. A rotten personality turn the most attractive man in the world into a troll, and vice versa.

i usually meet and end up with the guys who i am attracted to over time. however, with my recent boyfriend (who i believe is the man who i will marry) we were instantly attracted. we met at a party...and he spotted me and spent the night trying to get close to me. when he finally came up and introduced himself, i was drawn to him too. we have been together for only one and half years, but i still find him to be the most enchanting man i have ever met.

Both. To me both are important so it's not one or the other. The instant attraction is what two people feel right away. It's based more on lust even if that lust comes with a sense of intuition about how well two people might connect for the long haul ("love at first sight so to speak").

The underbelly of this initial stage, which makes way for the evolution of a very deep kind of attraction, should be an intimacy grows and matures over time as the couple learns extensively about one another and connects further on different levels. This solidifies the initial lust factor.

The initial stage is no longer in a state of limerence...and the intuition can then be justified.

I first met my current boyfriend when we were in the eighth grade, and I, at the time, hated him because he made our science club lose at the state competition. I still tease him about it all the time

I think both are important and I've experienced both. I've usually been with guys where we were both instantly attracted to each other but with the guy I'm currently with, it took me a while. I only saw him as a friend in the beginning and he was instantly attracted to me and pursued me for a very long time. After getting to know him it just hit me!

I think it could work either way, but I like instant better. just more romantic in my book

Slow-building gets my vote. The instant attraction is more about LUST. Taking the time to get to know someone is more of a long-term relationship step.

I'd honestly prefer slow building, but both are foundations for relationships.

my boyfriend had a puppy-love crush on me since he was 10; i only saw him as a friend until i turned 17, we both broke up with our bf/gf and we 'officially' started dating when we were 20. i guess for him, it was "instant attraction" but for me it was different.

I don't think there is any particular way it SHOULD be - as long as passion exists at the end of the day.

There's lots of guys where I meet them, spend six hours getting to talk to them, fall in love with everything about them, then realize I didn't find out much. With my current boyfriend, we had one conversation that really made it click between us, and our love has grown and gotten stronger, so it worked out. However, up until a week or two, I didn't know if I wanted a relationship with him, so there needs to be more sustainability than instant attraction.

I can't say I've ever had attraction build. When I meet someone I know right away if I'm attracted to them or not. I've never had someone I knew for awhile suddenly peak my interest, just my .02.

Before my current boyfriend I had always been with guys that I was insanely attracted to. I couldn't fathome being with someone that I wasn't crazy into. But then man and I started talking and I slowly started falling for him... and now I'm head over heels into him! It's great, he's the best guy in the world for me, he makes me feel complete!!

My soon-to-be hubby and I were attracted to each other when we first met....but as we got to know each other and grow ...we are WAY way more attracted to each other then we ever been...and it will probably grow within the years.

I don't think either is necessarily "better"...the important thing is that you ARE attracted to him/her while you're in a relationship with them! Otherwise it won't work.