This is a hard one. If your really really close I would give her a few days. Maybe send some flowers or a card. I am sorry for your friends loss.

My own mother died a few years ago when I was 18. Everyone deals with grief differently, but I would advise not calling at all. I would send a card and search the paper for when a memorial service or wake might be so you can offer your condolences to the family. The best thing you can say, in my opinion, is that you are sorry for her loss and, depending upon how close you are, offer support and let her know if she ever needs to just get out of the house you'll be available (but only say it if you mean it!).
A few months prior to my mom's death my friend's mom also died. I think I can speak on both of our behalf that it was helpful to just have apologetic and understanding friends there...but that didn't treat me any differently and were there to make me laugh, just as they always had! Your whole life changes when your mother dies so it's nice to feel like something in your life has remained the same. She's already aware that every time each of you looks at her, for a while you'll all stop and think, "Oh, she's the friend whose mom died..." so don't make her feel that way. Knowing that everyone feels sorry for you gets to be a little annoying.
Speaking of annoying...be careful that when you talk to her you don't make it about yourself! I don't mean to make any assumptions about you as a person, I just know this is how some people try to make others feel better; however, unless your own mother has died, you can NOT say that you understand or relate it to some other event like the time your hamster died. I've taken a counseling class and you are never supposed to say things like, "Don't worry" or "Things will be ok"-- because you really DON'T know that things will be ok!
I hope that helps! And it's a normal reaction, but try to resist the need to "fix" things-- it's hard to accept that, no matter how much seeing your friend suffering hurts...you just can't fix it.
She won't all of a sudden be better one day. There is no medical model from "recovering" from grief & loss and in fact...one never does. There is no prescribed time at which point you should be able to "move on".

I would give her a couple days too, then reach out, and let her know that you're there for her, and that you're there if she needs to talk.

You sound like a good friend, and I'm sorry for the family's loss.

Put a card in the mail tonight - that way it'll arrive right away and she can open it when she's ready. In the card, let her know you're there for her, no matter what she needs.

That's a good idea to put a card in the mail tonight.

And I know that every situation is different and every person is different, but I kinda think you should call her in a couple days. If she doesn't want to talk to you, it is easy enough for her to not answer the phone and you to leave a message. But I think it's important to reach out and let someone know that you are thinking of them and support them. No need to go into details, but I have had some deaths and multiple times the person in your friend's position has said to me oh I wish so and so would have called, or the person will mention feeling lonely because no one calls because people feel awkward, etc. But everyone is different so maybe the mutual friend is right regarding this particular person...
If it were me, I would send the card tonight like Luisa says, and then in a few days I would leave her a voicemail.
Good luck. I'm sad for your friend.

How good of a friend is she? I would think it was weird if one of my closest friends didn't reach out. Maybe calling isn't great, but an email or text to let her know you are ready when she is.

If she's your best friend, yesterday. She had enough confidence to tell you the situation, she wouldn't mind hearing your voice. I lost my mom at 15 to colon cancer. I was in Canada when it happened and didn't have my best friend with me. I called her that day because I needed to hear her voice. When I got back to school, the one person I was waiting to see (other than my family of course) was my best friend.

If you absolutely don't feel comfortable, send a text message or a card. Don't worry about doing anything... just be there with an open heart, open arms, and a smile. Just be. I knew my best was there through thick and thin and that she was praying for me. Prayer goes a long way. You don't have be the hero. That's not your job. She'll just need an ear and some tissues.

I don't know...if it was one of my best friends, the girls I've been friends with since we were little girls, I would call her. I think it might give her some comfort, even if it's only a two second conversation. I know it would bring me comfort, if I was in that situation.

I would also send her a card and something to make her smile...maybe a gift basket of some kind.

I suggest sending a card that says something along the lines of "I'm here for you if you need me!:-)" and some nice flowers and wait for her to come to you.

Hand written card is a good start - simple yet allows time buffer.

Good friends or just friends, I think everyone who is dealing with loss and grief would appreciate any kind of support from whoever that's willing and able to give. When my Grandpa died (whom raised me) I remember words of support from people whom weren't THAT close at all and yet, I was deeply thankful and moved for their simple gestures.

I don't think no one will accuse you of over stepping your boundaries for reaching out to someone who can get all the love and support they need right now, though I understand and respect your thoughts on not wanting to invade on someone's privacy during such a sensitive time.

I have never gone through this.

But a good friend of mine lost her boyfriend in college in a freak accident. And a lot of people didn't know how to respond and so they didn't.

Others didn't know how to respond but they reached out anyway.

She said that's how she knew who her friends were. The ones who had no idea what to do or say but who tried to connect with her instead of just avoiding the situation.

But, everyone's different.

There is nothing wrong with contacting her now. Send her a I am thinking of you card and tell her you are there for her no matter what she needs. I have been throught this and people appreciate knowing that you are there not matter what they need even if it is just to pick up a tomato at the grocery store.

I think that if it's your best friend, you would have called her already. Even if it's just so that she can hear your voice for a couple of minutes. I know that if my best friend lost a parent I would call right away, but with any of my other friends I would probably wait until the funeral.

I lost my mom at 16. I think you should definitely give her a call. One of my close friends called me the day after my mother died, she didn't ask me, "How are you," because she already knew. However, when I picked up the phone she said, "I know you're going through the worst time in your life right now. I want to let you know, that when you're ready to talk, I am here. I am here and I love you." I said thank you, that I'd call her soon and got off the phone. It meant EVERYTHING to me that she took the time to call, expressed her care, love, and understanding - but, most importantly, didn't expect me to chat.

I think that is the best idea. I am still so amazed that at 16, my friend was wise enough to say simply that. And, you never know, maybe she is ready to talk but just feels strange reaching out.

Definitely send her something, even if it's just a text, to let her know you're thinking of her and you love her .. Other than that, maybe wait a few days before trying to meet up with her.

Don't listen to your friend who says not to call her. Call. I lost my mother and while I wasn't always up for having the conversations, I was very appreciative of the people who kept in touch, and I don't mean one phone call; I mean the people who checked in week after week. BE there for your friend. Just let her know you care. No one knows what to say, no one has magic words to make it better, but just turning up and being a friend are what matters.

And DO NOT text. That's incredibly impersonal.

I lost my brother (actually a cousin, but we were raised together) last year and also lost my grandfather the same week. The one thing I remember hating the most was people saying, "How are you?" How am I? I just had 2 deaths in my family in one week.. pretty damn sucky, thanks! Just let them know you are there. I had several friends send cards and text messages (which didn't bother me as they were friends that regularly text to communicate). I wouldn't send flowers. So often there are sooo many flowers and nothing to do with them... just a houseful of flowers that all reminded me of the fact they were just at the graveside. I am amazed by how many people on here have lost their mothers. I can't imagine the pain of that and I think they are right... the best advice is people who've dealt with grief- it's unpredictable and incredibly life changing. They are also right that grief doesn't go away, especially in a month or two. Another thing I would recommend would be putting the date of her mother's death into your calendar for next year. The most meaningful thing for me was people contacting me and letting me know they were thinking about me on that day. It really helped so much.