He feels a bit guilty and awkward because he realizes its an expensive item that you got him and he hasnt gotten you something equally as great. He obviously really appreciates that you got it for him. I think you're over-reacting. Tell him you would prefer he take you out to a play or skiing or a really nice dinner and call it even. He wont stop until he feels that he has matched you in gifts, he feels a bit guilty and probably emasculated because he hasnt gotten something as nice for you.

Let him match your gift with something you both can do instead of a material thing (so you dont think about this situation every time you see the new gift) and tell him to let it go. If he continues thanking you profusely then tell him its making you uncomfortable and could he please stop thanking you but make sure you're light hearted about this and dont make it too serious.

Also, his friends saying you're a keeper because of this gift.. get over it. He sees you as a keeper for different reasons, thats why he's still with you, not because you bought him something. His friends just see it as "What a f*cking cool girlfriend, she gets him this killer present and she's hot. She's a keeper" believe me, if you were a cold hard b!tch that no one really liked and bought him this present, they wouldnt be saying the same things. But regardless, who cares what his friends say... its about you and him and he seems to really like you.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Joking say, "If you thank me one more time, I'm taking it back!"

I think you can just continue to communicate with him. Express to him that you are appreciative that he appreciates the gift, and that that's all you need, just his gratitude, not something material in return. Explain to him why you give gifts to people, and that you just don't expect things in return. Just his gratitude and love is sufficient, and that if you did want something or when you may want something you'll let him know.

As far as the "she's a keeper" comments. I agree with you it's rude, but really not much you can do about that, other than just let it slide. Their issues are their issues, don't make them yours. Ignore it and move on, some people just don't have social graces, comments like this are just one example of this sad factor in our society.

Just think of it this way he could be totally ungrateful and never have thanked you to begin with. Just be happy that he appreciates it so much.

I think he just likes the gift a lot, and wants to make sure you know he likes it. Obviously you are a keeper if you put that much thought into a gift for him. If its bothering you that much just tell him you got it because you knew he'd love it, and seeing him enjoy his gift is all the thanks you need.

Geez, talk about making something out of nothing!

So let me get this straight, your seriously upset because your man is too thankful? LOL This is about the funniest thing I've ever heard! Seems like your the one who needs to realize you've found a keeper!

Do you know how many people ESPECIALLY men take their partners for granted? He's just very thankful that his woman cares so much to get him something he absolutely loves! What's so bad about him wanting to do the same for you? I totally understand your point in not wanting to make it a gift exchange...even though plenty of women would see nothing wrog with it. But since your so upset that he would dare to return the favor then just tell him you don't want him to get you anything!

Furthermore, since when has saying someone is a keeper become rude? WTF this sounds like the twilight zone where everything is ass backwards!

Pfft, wish I had your "problems"!

"How should I respond to him?"

Say "you're welcome," then tell him to relax about it. Seriously.

He is welcome to enjoy the gift as exuberantly as he pleases, you're glad he likes it, but he needn't rush to pay you back in kind. Tell him that you strongly prefer spontaneous thoughtfulness and that you have no doubt that he'll surprise you at some point in the future -- you're not worried over it.

hotstuff, saying someone is a keeper is not rude. Saying someone is a keeper because she gave him an expensive gift is rude (imo), and I think that's what she objects to. It's like saying well she's a keeper because she can lavish expensive gifts on you, has nothing to do with the woman she is, but more about her pocketbook. I think it's just as rude for women to say the same thing about men - "oh, he drives a Lamborhini? he's a keeper!" Or "he bought you a diamond necklace?? he's a keeper!"
It's just very shallow and rude to me, but I may have interpreted what she was saying wrong, but that's how I took it.

Kim, I still say its making something out of nothing! They've been together for a year so hopefully OP can see her man doesn't think she's a sugar mama. If anything the family/friends were trying to compliment her. I just can't see calling someone a keeper as rude, even if someone said it in a joking way. Shoot I can recall some rude/offensive behavior and this just doesn't fall in line. If this is the worst of the boyfriend/family/friends....then dare I say I think you've found a keeper!

If anything, they were probably saying she is a keeper because she was thoughtful and generous enough to buy her boyfriend something nice for no real reason. Interpreting those comments any other way is paranoid, and in my opinion, making something out of nothing.

This post just reminds me how much we women over-think everything. So your boyfriend is thankful that you bought him something. How is this a problem that needs a solution other than telling him outright to stop thanking you?

Yeesh, it just sounds like no one has ever given him a gift like this before. Just explain how you feel about the situation to him, exactly the way you did it to us. "I was very happy to do something like this for you, and if you feel you want to give me something in return I think it will devalue the thought and effort I put into getting this gift for you." Super simple.

And call his family and friends out for their comments. I mean, I know you don't want to be rude or abrasive to them but a simple, "well I hope he thinks I'm a keeper for reasons other than my gift-giving capabilities!" in a joking manner should be just fine. Maybe they just think that an expensive gift signifies that you really love him if you are willing to spend so much on him, not that you are a keeper because you are a sugar mama. Still awkward, I agree!

I think both luv_bug1211 and Fallen85 have really good suggestions - letting him know that seeing him enjoy it is thanks enough for you, and if he protests or tries to thank you again, say something like, "ok, if you really feel like you need to do something more, why not take me to (somewhere you've really wanted to go, but don't get to very often - like a special restaurant or a show that's in town, something that will be memorable for both of you) and we'll call it even."

I think part of what may be happening is that, in at least some of the European countries, there was a tradition of "A gift calls for a gift" - not just in between people, but also between people and the Gods they worshiped. Over time, the original concept became less dogmatic, but there's still a lingering tendency in European-derived cultures to feel that if someone gives you a gift - in particular if it has significant sentimental value or is expensive - they need to give you a gift in return, and if they don't or can't, it can be uncomfortable. The best thing you can do in a situation like that is to find a way to help him feel like he has given you something in return, without him feeling like he has to match it dollar-for-dollar.

Interesting yet TOTALLY unrelated bit of trivia: For years, Christians have rightly complained about how shortening "Christmas" to "Xmas" is "taking the Christ out of Christmas" and putting too much emphasis on what you can get as gifts. Ironically, in Nordic lore - where many of our non-Christian traditions like Christmas trees, Yule logs, hanging evergreens, parts of the Santa Clause tradition and a some other things - the letter-shape "X" is known as the rune "Gebo," which means "gift." So, if you take that meaning of "X," then "Xmas" becomes "Giftmas." How appropriate in today's commercial world, eh? Yeesh!

..This concerns you? Seriously?

You bought your bf a gift he really loves and he's extremely thankful. That's a good thing!

He wants to buy something nice for you to have to show how much he appreciates it and cares about you. That's great!

His friends and family are impressed by the thoughtful gift you got him, thus say you're "a keeper" to express hope that your bf recognizes how lucky he is to have you and encouraging him to stay with you. That would be a compliment, NOT an insult.

Do you know how many women there are out there in half-hearted, thankless relationships that WISH they could be in the situation you're complaining about right now? It seems like you're really looking for a problem rather than allowing yourself to be content in your relationship. I thinkyou need to figure out why you're doing that.

Maybe your bf is 'threatened' by the expensive gift?? i.e. the good 'ole 'women make more money than men' debate...Maybe that's where your concern came from? I can understand that you think you are being considered 'worthy' because of $$$ - I like luisamapacha's take on the matter - make a joke out of it! Laugh it off and see what kind of present your bf gets you in return...

Oh boy have things changed!? It used to be the other way around - when a guy buys a girl an 'expensive' gift, the girl's family and friends would gush and sigh, "Now THAT'S a keeper..."

I am curious as to what the gift was... I was been bought mobile phones, digital cameras, a new bike and an iPhone by an ex boyfriend because he was too lazy to think of proper gifts to give and he knew I couldn't re-gift this amount in return.

Just stop making something out of nothing? If he's thankful then YOU should be thankful!!

I wish there was more to this post. I feel something is missing because by itself it seems odd that you would truly find this a problem. Is your boyfriend thinking of this gift in monetary value only? Can you not just tell him "hey I got this for you as a gift. You really do not need to reciprocate it otherwise I feel as if you don't appreciate it. How about if you ever come across something you think I may like or if you really want to do something for me- take me out to dinner?" And really, isnt the best part of giving how thankful the other person is?? Also -as for the keeper comment- lighten up! It is a huge compliment to say you are a keeper. Of course, again, if we are missing details from your post that show WHY this bothers you- please post here. I am giving advice solely on what you have up there.