perhaps when you are fixated on it, it just doesnt happen. like, you can't really go out "looking for love" or whatever
also, maybe guys are intimidated by girls who are good looking, funny and smart, and like to have a good time hahaha that's my theory

I think it's because guys are more intimidated by us nowadays. Back then women were raised to stay at home cook, clean, and pop out babies but alot of women now are more career-oriented, strong-headed, stubborn and independent. It took my current boyfriend over 2 months to ask me out. He told me that he was intimidated by me at first b/c I was known to always get out there and get what I want and alot of people assumed that my go get attitude was b*tchiness which is what he did too.

I agree with you, shop.
I also believe that he's either just flirting to get your number or just not really into you.

I actually think that if a guy is truly interested, he will ask a girl out. So if you're not being asked out, it's because you haven't caught a guy's interest IMO

I believe is mainly because most men notice the engagement ring on my finger OR its because I look like I will eat them alive if they say anything to me. I have a standard mean face, I cant help it! lol Sad, because I am really a nice person and if you approach me I'll be really sweet and sarcastic.

I just assume that I'm not their type. No big deal. Every guy I see is not my type and it works vice versa. Men actually do excercise discretion when asking a woman out. Not every woman they think is attractive is what they want.

On another note, some women aren't really as goodlooking, smart or funny as they seem to think they are. And those type tend to rub men and other women the wrong way.

I would just assume that it 'wasnt meant to be', wasnt in the cards, not my time...

That's my favorite excuse for everything!

Before I met my fiance, I NEVER got asked out, but now guys ask me out ALL the time (guys in college haven't learned to pay attention to rings on ring fingers yet). I couldn't tell you what it is, except maybe that I'm very pleased with where I am in life right now, but before I met my fiance, I was in a major sore spot, and I think some people are very good at sensing what sort of shape your life is in.

i hear a lot of girls say this, and not to be brutal, but just because you think you're "good looking, nice, smart" doesn't necessarily mean you are...i had an absolutely crazy (and unattrative and unhygenic) roomate, and i heard her say "i dont know why he doesnt like me..i'm nice, i'm fun, i'm pretty" and she was none of those things...not even CLOSE to being a fun person let alone a normal person...so sometimes i think you need to take a closer look at what you're projecting

Everyone sees people differently. Just because one guy thinks your hot doesn't mean the next will. I used to get asked out and complimented ALL the time, but I am not gonna say it's because they thought I was such a great person -- but probably because they thought I was hot. If guys think you are pretty, especially when you are young, you have a good chance of being asked out because they want to have sex with you. In my opinion, I'd feel worse if a guy asked me out because I was "hot" and nothing more to them, than not being asked out at all.

because men are idiots

I agree with colleeninator. No matter how smart/fun/pretty you are, if you don't project a happy persona onto the world few dudes are going to want to date you. Nobody wants to date a downer, and I firmly believe that attitude is an infinately more important factor in attractiveness than physical attributes. From my own anecdotal experience, I can attest to the fact that it is never the prettiest girl who gets the guy, but often the most outgoing or friendly one who does.

the old saying 'the grass is always greener' couldn't be more true, as well: a friend of mine, one of the prettiest girls ever, really, a beautiful beautiful person on the inside and out, is always complaining that guys don't care about what she has to say, and always assume she's stupid and only use her for arm candy...and she is truly upset by this and her self esteem is absolutely horrible...she's smart but no one cares because she's a blonde bombshell with a rockin body....it's tough...she gets asked out a lot, but by the wrong guys...the right guy will come along eventually for everyone

Honestly I wish less men would ask me out. The wrong men ask me out though. But, I guess id just say don't look so stern, and have confidence in yourself...but not in an arrogant way. Always smile, it makes them less nervous to approach you. Anyways, thats my advice .

I think a lot of women think of themselves or their friends as smart, funny, pretty, etc. but aren't approachable. A smile and positive attitude can go a long way!

i'm really independent and don't feel like i need some man to take care of me and I think my independence kinda freaks guys out some becuase while i am a girly girly i can also shoot and drink beer with the best of 'em

I'm always told I'm intimidating. Although the ones who can face up to me usually deserve a chance at dating me.

Probably because I'm married, lol. Prior to that, I never had a problem getting asked out. And, now that I think of it, I've turned everyone who has asked me out down. Anyone I had dated was someone of my own choosing.

It really isn't about how pretty, funny, smart you are. After all, these qualities vary in likability for men as well. It's about the way one carries herself. If a woman projects any sort of negativity (low self-esteem, high strung, snotty, self-centered, unavailable in the sense of appearing always busy, etc.), many men are not willing to ask her out. On the other side of that, maybe she is confident with a great personality. Maybe some men view themselves as out of her league and consequently feel too intimidated. Additionally, some men would rather ask out a woman they already know a little about over a woman they randomly meet at any given location. Well, except men in the bars/clubs but we all know what most of those ones are looking for, no? The answer is not a long term relationship.

The best way to get asked out is to appear friendly and approachable. However, for me, I'm picky. I have high standards and I never waited to be asked out by just anyone. Neither did I wait for a 'potential' good one to get swiped by someone else.

from what ive seen recetly guys want ugly, dull easy girls. the onees they can mess about & demand sex without question.
but with girls like me (independant,gorgeous, sucessful women) they feel intimidated i guess.:]

*recently

All these women can't stop bragging about themselves. I can't imagine how cocky they are in person. I like confidence, but not cockiness, and I definitely hate people who "toot their own horn". Maybe these women should show a little humility and get to know the guy better, instead of concentrating on how they're perfect, but no one is appreciating it.

I used to be told I scared guys. Ha.

I asked my best guy friend in college why guys never asked me out, he said I was very scary to approach- Im very tall and not shy about wearing high heels and I guess I gave off a "Im not easily impressed" vibe

Doesnt matter now, Im married- I finally grew out of my bad boy phase and fell in love with a nice guy and he was actually the first guy in forever that called me and asked me out on a real date

I think that most women are trying to play "hard-to-get" , sending mixed signals and have higher expectations ----that once they see one thing that they didn't match their standards, they eliminate them and women wait for the Mr Perfect Man that doesn't exist.

I'm married...that's just an observation

I think many women project themselves to be TOO desperate and that scares people off. Others don't project an open, friendly atmosphere to attract others.

It's my lack of enthusiasm recently. I haven't been on a date since December and haven't been in a relationship in a year and a half. I go out to clubs and concerts and guys talk to me. I don't flirt- I'll talk to them like a friend. I'd rather get to know a guy for several months as a friend so we understand each other before going on a date. I'd find that less awkward.

I recently moved to a new city and I get asked out by guys significantly more than before. I used to hang out with mostly guys and now that I have moved I am out with all girls more. I think this has been a big factor in this change, because I am sure it take more guts to hit on a girl when she is surrounded by other guys!

I seem to be a bit confused. I've been on a couple of dates - all of which were fun. But, somehow, there was no second date. I'm not too sure why...I wish I knew...my friends cannot pin-point the exact reason this may be the case. I've felt hopeless about the situation - I am not searching for love or a relationship, I never have, but I tend to entertain the concern of whether or not I am meant to be in a relationship or whether it is just a lost cause...

I don't know..

Well, realistically, people rate you on a scale of bored to aloof to b*tchy if you are any combination of the following:
pretty
sarcastic
reserved/shy
smart (well educated is actually worse. has anyone else told someone where you went to school, only to have them immediately start putting their intelligence down?)

I've always been told that I'm intimidating, but hey, if someone really interests me, I want to talk to him and it's not a problem. My problem is that I only meet someone who really interests me every year or two. I have an active social life and large circle of friends, and I've had to discourage guys that I'm just not interested in, but with all these people around, where are the guys I AM interested in? Dunno

lol the last guy that asked me out, said that I looked like my cat died, but I was just having a bad night out with unneccesary drama with my guy friends. lol

I'm a hermit. I'm actually in a relationship right now, but I did notice when I was single about two years ago, I received more attention from guys that I ever had in my life because I was just out and about more.. I was also more confident and happy then. I guess my confidence and just constantly smiling and giggling (not fake, I was actually laughing with a friend) made them see me as more approachable and someone they wanted to be with.. I was totally oblivious of the attention too.. perhaps because I was not used to it at all..

I've been told that I give off a "don't touch me" aura. My mother (and aunts) say that I don't dress, do my hair, or carry myself in a way that attracts me. Oh well; too old to bother to change just to land a man!

Think about the "type" of guy you want and go there. Ex. you want a man who likes to read adn drink coffee? then go to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks. Want a man who likes art go to and art gallery...it's better if you go alone.

i am naturally very shy and have suffered a type of self esteem that, especially in high school, made me want to be invisible. i think my aloofness comes off to some as thinking i'm too good for them, and to others as being too shy and self-conscious. whichever way it's interpreted, it's definitely mostly the latter going inside my head.

i also notice that some of the most intelligent men i know go for dumber girls. i'm an engineering student, i play guitar better than most guys i know, and i'm not one to play dumb, so i can be what guys consider "mean" to them, because it's hard for me to boost their egos on things i can do too, and have worked much harder through stereotypes for. i know i need to learn to ego boost anyway, cause we all need it.

i'm also not a flirt with men, because i think "these days" people interpret flirting as "we're going to have sex tonight". so when i'm not being touchy feely immediately with them at a club, they think i'm just a meanie who is uninterested.

woah...just noticed.. akay said all i wanted to write already. kudos

i want to comment but i need to think this one through...ha lol ... BRB

yeah i agree with TFS,Shopaholichunny [+], crackaddict, and almostfamous. yeah this kid claimed that he liked me his friends introduced me like last september he said 2 my face that he liked me nd i was like i know and i was gonna ask him out like june29 and i texted him and he said he never liked dont care 4 me and now is going out with some other gurl. that sucks and basically cuz he doesnt know what he wants and will flirt with people ( or just talk 2 them) in front of my face or near me. ahaha what a loser

yeah they r idiots most of the i think im all that kind of guys. guys r bascially the same. yeah u move on and some people wish like the next girl they go out with 2 suffer or get something. thats what itold my friends. now im fine. after awhile u give in and then u give out and move on and start a better life 4 ur self.

Sounds trite, but there can be intimidation or fear of rejection. Some girls give off a stuck-up or unapproachable vibe that can scare off guys. Or, it could be that "he's just not that into you!".

My soon to be fella is VERY nervous and awkward around me, I am as well.......I just donna look like a twit or loose respect about him

A lot of people tell me that Im intimidating and also the way I dress is very different than the rest of the girls in my small town. My friend once over heard a few guys speaking about me and they said that I "had a boyfriend over the internet, who I am running away with in the summer time..." something along the lines of that ridiculousness. But sometimes its probably because Im not their type.

i try to figure it out but still don't have the answer. not many guys would ask me to go out also, yeah but the only excuse that i could make is he's not the one for me, it's just not click yet, there'll be someone for me at the right time who loves me just the way i am.

I've been told a number of time by many of my older male friends, that I act at least twice my age.
Being on the younger side, it's a little shocking, and admittedly "intimidating", or so say the brave ones.
Most of my friends are also men, and I've repeatedly heard that I'm "one of the guys".
Flings happen, but usually its very awkward. Like seeing your cousin naked.

I agree with you silverlining nobody wants to be around someone that is cocky. I have been told by many men that part of my sexiness is that I do not think I am the greatest looking person in the room and they love that I am comfortable in my own skin. Playing the I am so hot card will go so far if you can't carry on a conversation no one is going to want to be around you. I like being single but I also love to meet new people. I am a strong, independent woman which can be intimidating to men; my feeling is that this is what you get if you don't like there's the door. I think it would also help if I got out more. I also look very young I have been told that I look like I am 25 and I am 38 so sometimes the men are a little too young for me.

I think all these beautiful/smart/awesome women need to just be friendly/funny/open minded more.. We probably have the bar raised so high that guys can jump much less climb that far to get up and above it! I've been a model for 6 years but no guy would ever know that by meeting me.. I am myself which is a goof ball dork who collects amazing spiderman comic books and played high school and college basketball.. I've been published but I don't go around thinking my you know what doesn't stink.. I definitely get a lot of interest but I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather be successful and self-sufficient than go out and spend time and money on a date.. But I think as soon as I meet the guy that is ok with that, things will be great!

That's just my opinion! : )

oops I meant 'guys CAN'T jump much less climb to reach it' mah bad

I've noticed that when I feel sexy and confident, more guys are liable to pay attention to me. And I've also noticed that when I'm feeling sexy and confident, and I'm not concerned about anything else (like finding a guy) other than having fun, I also find that guys pay more attention to me. If only I could be like that all the time... I also noticed, it helps going to places where you aren't from. I live in Florida, and I live near Tampa, and I notice when I'm in Tampa, guys don't pay too much attention to me, but yet when I took a vakay to Miami, tons of guys paid attention to me... I don't know if that would make a difference. But yes, I think your aura that everyone else can perceive is most important. If you are having fun, not worried about anything, then that will attract guys. If you are self-conscious, have a low self-esteem, and constantly thinking about where your next boyfriend will be, then you will attract nobody.