Dear Sugar,

I started seeing an awesome guy a few months ago. We have great conversations and our sexual relationship is amazing. Unfortunately, there are a few issues. For one, he is twice my age (I’m 24), and he also happens to be one of my college professors. The problem now is that somebody has told the college that he and I have a very "close" relationship and he's received a warning about getting involved with a student even though I'm more than consenting of our relationship.

He’s worried about his job, but I don’t want to lose him. He wants to end things with me but I want be selfish and ask him if we can stay together even if it means that we only spend time together on weekends, and avoid going out in public, and never interact on campus. What should I do?

— Dangerous Liaisons Lucy

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Dear Dangerous Liasons Lucy,

Although student relationships with college professors are not uncommon, it's your unconcerned nature that worries me most. It's true that you are both consenting adults, but your boyfriend is still breaking an extremely important code of ethics that he's required to uphold for his position. Regardless of how you both feel about one another, from the school's standpoint, one of their employees is taking advantage of his position of power and violating the rules, which can lead to suspension, losing his position, and making it difficult for him to get work at other schools.

You and your boyfriend needs to sit down and discuss the implications of staying together. Obviously the consequences are more dire for him than they are for you, so if he decides to end things, I think it's important that you respect that. Likewise, if the relationship continues and ends up being exposed, it's important to remember that there will be personal implications for your relationship as well. Either way, it's time to take a step back — I would avoid any contact with each other at school or in public. In such a serious situation, the most important thing is to avoid looking at the situation from an emotional point of view and focus on considering things as rationally as possible.

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