I agree with Dear. It takes me a LONG time to be able to tell someone that I love them. That doesn't mean that I don't care a ton about them. I'm sure that he was sincere and honest in his answer. Just give it time.

Agree with Dear too- you can't pressure someone to do something before they are ready. It doesn't mean your relationship is garbage or anything, it just means when he says it, you know he REALLY means it!

I totally agree with everyone. Also, I don't think 7 months is all that long, and keep in mind that he is 11 years older and might be more careful in love, especially if he's been burned in the past. You're 22 - there's plenty of time! Don't rush it.

I don't think there is a time table for this sort of thing. Some people wait a long time, and others say it 1 week into infatuation.

The issue for me would be if he thinks you are headed in the direction you want to be headed in. If he feels like he'll absolutely be able to say it to you in the future, just not on your schedule, that is very different than him saying he's just not sure about you.

Off topic, but weiiiird pic there, Dear.

It does not mean in anyway that this young man does not care about you. i remember my current boyfriend telling me he loved me way before i felt that way about him. i said it back when i did not feel that way. but guess what, now i think i love him more than anything else. i am in love with him. be patient and he just may come around to realiizng how much he feels for you. it sure worked out for me.

And most of all , you dont want to be ashamed of your feelings for anyone. be happy that you are quite capable of loving another and sharing it with them. tell him every day if you have to. have think to yourself , if i died today he knew how i felt about him. never be ashamed of love.

May I say I WAS SCARED when I saw that pic... LOL...

Sydney C I totally agree w/ u

I disagree with subtleheights. I don't think you should tell him that you love him everyday. It will just put more pressure on him to say something that he doesn't mean, it will be very uncomfortable for him. You said it once, he knows how you feel. You shouldn't be embarassed about having said it, but I wouldn't say it again until he does, it will just make you feel more vulnerable as well. I think his age probably has something to do with it. I am 31, and as you get older and go through several relationships that do not work out, it is just not something you say as easily anymore, because you know what it really means. (Especially if he is divorced or has been badly burned in the past). There is nothing wrong with you for him not having said it, it is probably his issues. Having said that, I understand why you would feel hurt about his not saying it back. I guess it depends how you treats you in other ways, sometimes it is easier for men to show their love through actions than words. I would say if things don't work out with you guys, consider someone a bit closer to your own age, because I know for myself there is a huge difference in the quality and amount of experiences I had between 22 and now. I would suspect that he is with a girl so much younger than him because women his own age would be expecting more of a commitment right away, they would not be willing to wait around for him. He probably figures with a younger girl she won't expect as much as fast. Only you can determine if it is worth staying with him. Good luck!

Sydney C--i would barely read the article, I was busy trying to figure out what the picture was!

why is that girl such a weird color in the picture?

haha okay i read up, and apparently i'm not the only person with such a random concern

well, good to know all us girls are pretty hard to please in the picture department!

Like others have said, he is just being cautious, there is no time-line. Enjoy your relationship and it will come naturally!

it is just a word. the meaning we put into it is different for everyone. i have been with my man for over a year and a half and i have told him i love him and he can't tell me that. he has heard it too many times said in a way he doesn't feel grasps the meaning of what he feels for me. it was REALLY hard to get over that but in the end it is more important to me that he is here with me than that he says a word that symbolizes how i want him to feel. be patient, he will tell you in his own way which may be even better than a simple "i love you."

I've been with my guy for almost 3 years ... I still haven't heard anything. What you should care more about is if you have a future with this guy. If he says he cares about you and is happy, you should try to be happy too. But if it really bothers you [after being together for more than a year or so], reassess the relationship, sit down and have a talk. I'm sure any guy can be reasonable enough to talk about what might keep him from saying something or feeling a certain way.
Basically, him not saying it after a couple of months is not grounds to run away from the relationship. Part of love is taking the risk.

I am also one of those people that only says I love you when I actually mean it. I would rather hear I love you from someone that really means it than someone telling me just to make me feel more secure.

Ouch~

Is there a reason why he feels he cannot say it? I mean, seven months is a long time to get to know somebody. I say it /generally/ as soon as I feel it which usually is quite quickly. I'm good at knowing how I feel though and want to make sure the other person knows it as soon as it happens.

I wouldn't personally keep somebody waiting 7 months. I waited 18 months to hear it off one boyfriend and by the time he finally said it I didn't feel that way anymore!

Hey fluffyhelen ... if you really did love the guy, it shouldn't matter if it took 7 mos or 18 mos, you should still love the guy. The fact that you fell out of love because he took so long is a good sign you didn't know how you really felt and that you were probably infatuated. Unless your guy spent 18 mos being horrible to you, you shouldn't have stopped loving him because of time. Time makes love stronger, not weaker.

Seven months seems kind of borderline to me. He's 33 years old, which means he should really be at a maturity level where he knows himself and what he wants. If you need to hear "I love you" from the guy you're with, and he can't say it after a year or so, then he's probably not the guy for you.

I would also caution that, although women obviously mature more quickly than men, an 11-year age difference *at your age* is shaky at best. I'm sure he does care about you in some way, but I can't help but wonder if part of it is your firm, young body...

He has probably been burned in the past so it takes him longer to say it than it would for you. Give him time. He can tell you he cares for you without saying I love you.

I have to say, I definitely think that there IS a point where it's weird to not say it.

I have a friend who has been dating a guy for TWO YEARS and he still hasn't said it, and while I guess I shouldn't judge, I think that's really weird.

HOWEVER, 7 months isn't two years.

I told my now fiance about 4 months into our relationship that I loved him because it was LITERALLY painful to not say it anymore. I told him he didn't need to say anything back, but I just had to tell him how I felt.

When he didn't say it back, and days went by, and WEEKS went by, and he STILL hadn't said it back, I definitely got upset, but I just decided to leave it be, and wait and see. Well, obviously he said it - and we're getting married in September!!

I asked him about it later, and what he said was that he felt it, but once it was out there, he knew he couldn't take it back, and he felt like it just brought the whole relationship to a new level - not one that he wasn't ready for himself, but he felt like it brought his investment in it to a new level, and if he put it out there and then things didn't work out, he said it would have been more painful and he wasn't ready to deal with that possibility yet.

I think men are actually a lot more emotional than us women in some ways. I think sometimes it's harder for them to "get-in-touch" with their feelings because it's too overwhelming for them to face them, so they keep them at a distance.

I wouldn't worry about it, I would continue to be loving towards him, without saying it - he might feel like you are pressuring him if you say it too much. If you continue to be yourself and natural and comfortable around him, and give him time, and trust him, he will feel it and will open up to allowing himself to feel those deeper feelings for you.

It's also possible (i'm sorry to say this) that he is concerned about how much younger you are, and is kind of keeping things at a distance because of this.

But don't forget - just because he isn't ALLOWING himself to feel love for you doesn't mean you aren't lovable!!! Give it a little time, and if it takes too much time, move on.

Oh my lord that picture!

I am going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend, except mine is younger than me - he's 22, I'm 25.

We've talked about the 'l' word, but he just seems incapable of saying it. He says he's waiting for 'the right moment' - which seems like a total cop-out to me. To me, if you love someone, it's the right moment. It gets me SO down when I think about it.

I went through something like this with my husband when we first starting dating. It only took me a few months to know for sure that I was in love with him and I'd never felt like this for anyone else. He on the other hand was very wary of telling me he loved me until he was absolutely sure. I told him one night and I made sure to let him know he didn't have to say it back until he was sure it was the right time. The truth is it did hurt my pride a little, but I knew then and I know now that he loves me and it's more important that he shows me and that he cared enough to wait until he was extremely sure.

so you were friends for a year, and then were a couple 7 months after that??

you would already have love for a friend, and then the romantic aspect would make me think it's about time for things to be a bit more than "i really like you".

sure, not everyone feels the love in just 7 months. personally, i feel there are no time limits on love . . .unless it's been 2 years and the guy hasn't said it yet.

what the hell?!?!? DONKEY KONG! same guy probably doesn't bring his grad student gf a sandwich during finals. HA!

i would feel a bit donkey-ish if i had said it first and he said nothing back. but try not to beat yourself up for it.

but in my mind, with him being in his 30's, and you and you early 20's, that maybe you could be the comfy jump-off girl; things aren't suppose to get that serious. he cuts for you, but he wouldn't cut himself for you.

now hopefully, i'm wrong. and he's been hurt in the past by some other donkey-b*tch that's f*ckin' it up for anyone who comes along in the future.

my advice, don't tell him again, until after he finally tells you he loves you. don't set yourself up for failure. please don't wait 2 years to hear it either. if he's having them kind of issues then . .well, i think you know where i'm going with this.

leave him be, because then you'll be the ex-girl friend who was pushy and a bit psycho . . .d*mn. a gal just wants somebody to love (no pun intended).

I just have to also say that that is the craziest picture ever! It looks like the girl is painted gold....weird!

Oh, and I agree with most people saying you should just wait a while and give him some time, but also, like Asia said, don't wait like 2 years.

Give him a little more time. It doesn't sound like he doesn't have those kind of feelings for you, just that he's not ready to say it. Just don't push him into it... he'll either come around (and it just took him longer than you to warm up to professing your feelings) or you guys will realize you don't feel the same about each other. I'm sure you didn't ruin everything because it sounds like he took the conversation well but I really suggest just trying not to think about the whole thing too much. Personally, I probably wouldn't tell him that I love him again until he felt ready to say it back to me, so maybe not saying and not thinking about would put less weight and pressure on it for you.