Play hard to get, baby that is, if you still want him in the first place. Sounds like you were his second option, and he wants you now because the first one didn't work out. He can't take you for granted like that. You have your self-respect, so let go of this guy. NOT forgive.

So, you're wondering if you should forgive him...for leaving you at the drop of a hat, for attempting to cheat on his new girlfriend with you, and for acting interested in you again only after he doesn't have a pu$$y to fu*k? If you respect yourself and other women...I would tell him to get lost.

I mean really...do you honestly think that if you two were to try and have a "relationship", that he wouldn't be trying to score with the first hot chick he sees? If you don't think that would happen, then go for it...because you two deserve each other in that case.

well, i personally would not allow myself to be a "Plan B"

Well, from how you described your actions in your question it seems like you have a lot of self-respect, and I wouldn't stop now! You were clearly his second choice, and he sounds like a bit of a creep, just ditch him and move on! I think dating multiple people is probably a great way to see what person you could have a potential relationship with, but then if it doesn't work out with the first one you choose, you don't necessarily just get to move on to the other!

Gee.....I don't feel as strongly against this guy as the others do. He was pretty honest with you and you handled yourself beautifully with him, I think, and I applaud you for not letting him stay with you after dropping that news.

I've been interested in two guys at the same time, so maybe that's why I don't feel as harshly. Maybe at first he didn't want to be in a relationship with someone an hour away? But being with someone else made him realize it's not about the distance but the feelings? I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

The decision is a really personal one, but I might give him another chance, just moving cautiously, and not just picking up where you left off. I'd start from Square One.

I agree with Marci. You guys were only casually dating...it's not like he left a serious relationship with you to pursue another girl. I think he was just trying to figure out which of the two he thought had more potential!

No I don't think that you should trust or even forgive him. I been there by my ex husband and he still did it to me and the last time he did it he wanted me back and I said no cause he did it a year before and when he did it again a year later I said no way. So he did it to you once he may do it again thinking that you will forgive him again. Good luck girl.

I can relate to this situation somewhat. I had an ex that lived over an hour away from me and the phone calls were long distance at the time. He ended it with me for what seemed like no reason. He started dating another girl that lived close by shortly after. Years later we met up again and he told me that at the time he couldn't have afforded our relationship. I felt differently, but he was very driven by money and most of his decisions were based on that. He was embarrassed at the time to tell me that.

Who knows what your guys reasons may truly be, but sometimes they aren't always that clear. She may have been the "convenient" one...you never know. Whether you decide to give him another chance or not is up to you, but you have to go with your gut.

Don't be a second class love. You were lucky enough to see what a dog this guy is without being too attached to him. Don't be a fool and let him do this to you twice!

you should always be NUMBER ONE! 'nough said.

i don't have anything against the guy.

he likes to play hop-scotch and he expects people to play when he wants them to.

it's good that you know his MO now, rather than after you fell for him and were too thirsty and attached to let him go.

i wouldn't f*ck with him.

it's not about him dating the other girl, but the fact that he thinks he can say, "okay, you're axed" then turn right around and say, "i luv ya baby" . . .

even if he was a f*ck buddy, he gotta come better than that.

i always say-if I am good enough to f*ck, then I must be pretty good so they better treat me that way! Kick him to the curb. You should be the first!

if you think there is potential...go for it. you two were not exclusive and it's only natural to explore your options.

if you think there is potential...go for it. you two were not exclusive and it's only natural to explore your options.

hehe i said forgive. he was probably just exited about a new person to sleep with and she was also closer(http://www.solvedating.com/love-economics.html).

but when you guys are trying to make it work, explain how you feel, and make him prove himself to you. if it was me, i might hold off on the love making until i felt he was really worthy of my trust. i think that would give you guys a more solid foundation. and this should be his last chance!

Marci took the words out of my mouth and typed them out much more clearly than I would have. Totally agree with her!

This guy is SCUM.

I think I agree with Marci. Since you said you weren't exclusive, he didn't really do anything too wrong. I don't agree with him trying to kiss you when he was interested in somebody else, but maybe it was just a stupid mistake.

I think its slimey that in one breath he is telling you he wants to see where things go with this other girl and then he gets mad bc you wont let him spend the night with you? While yall might not have been exclusive- he had JUST told you he was going to be exclusive with someone else and then still expected you to sleep with him! I would just have to wonder once he said he wanted to be in a relationship with ME that he still might have someone one the side that wouldnt mind him spending the night even though he is "seeing" someone else.

Sorry but he just doesnt sound like good relationship material to me

Easier said than done, but you obviously deserve more (and it sounds like you know it).

i'm having a hard time seeing what he did wrong. I mean, you two were not exclusive, dating multiple people, and he decided to get more serious with someone else. I'm not saying you should definitely get back together with him (that is dependent on your feelings about him choosing someone else), but i just don't think he did something that requires being forgiven.

i said forgive- guys can be lazy..one of the reasons my fiance and i held off for dating for so long (even tho we liked each other for months) was bc we would be in a three and 1/2 hour long distance relationship. if you were serious and he did that, then yeah, not forgive. but i wouldnt say he's scum because he wanted to date someone who lived in the same city as him. long distance (even just an hour!) isnt for everyone

You received some excellent advice.

I think this man is untrustworthy and overly self-centered. I think he mistreated you, too. He told you he was seriously interested in another woman. Then he was upset with you because you didn't let him spend the night, and kiss you? WTF?? What does he think you are??

If I were you, I would tell him to get lost. Be glad that you weren't seriously involved with him. Choose a man who would treat you with dignity and respect.

Forgive him. You two weren't exclusive so he had a right to choose someone else. I would tell him that you'd like to be exclusive if you got back together and you'd have to make things work so you could see each other more often.

While I think that you should forgive him for sure, don't be too quick to completely trust him. It was one thing for him to start seeing someone else while you two weren't exactly 'exclusive', but it's a completely different issue that he tried to kiss you while he was with girl number two. That just shows what he could do while he's with you, especially if he lives in a different city.

the guy has a right to screw Jenny, Jill and Ja'quesha, but i'm not here to jump (or f*ck) when you get ready for me.

This ain't the Bunny Ranch where you ring a bell and b*tches come running.

exclusive or not, you should be treated with some kinda respect.

but now that i'm thinking about it, the OP already screwed homeboy (IMO, i don't feel like you're a ho or anything so don't take this the wrong way), so in his mind (MAYBE. i don't have a set of nuts so i might be wrong);

he got nook-nook from a gal out of town (nice girl. great smile. herpes free) who IS NOT considered his gf by any means.

new gal (just as cool, but geographically more convenient) pops up, giving up the same thing.

he thinks, "gal A [the OP] is a cool girl. i'm gonna be upfront and tell her that i'm gonna date someone else exclusively instead. she'll be cool with it".

so he tells the OP, and she feels a bit sh*tty (naturally,ESPECIALLY of she gave up some poon).

but this guy expects to spend the night????

sounds like to me, he always intended for you to be the "jump-off girl", where you probably felt like there was some potential (over time and getting to know each other better of course.) for things to be more.

you were suppose to give him some "last hurrah"/"out of town jump-off" sex.

you putting him out may have lead him to believe that you were just being an over-emotional chick, and he left it alone . . .

UNTIL him and the other girl didn't work.

(cue the jump-off girl)

and that's why he's back now. heck, maybe he IS into you more so now, who knows.

like i said before, i don't knock the guy. he's ambitious. he strives to have his cake and eat it too.

you just need to make sure you're on the same page.

i DO feel that he might have a bit of an inflated ego.

so it's up to you if you want that or not.

i wouldn't. too dangerous. have b*tches on the porch cryin' and sh*t.

good luck.

sorry for the ubber-long post.

i talk much faster in real life, so it never seems like alot is being said.

Lol, Asia...you're my favorite.

On the bright side with this situation...you've got options. Even if you don't get back together with this guy right now, he's not going to be totally out of your orbit. You two have a mutual friend, right? So...no rush. You've got time to take things back to just friends, or very casual (NO SEX) dating...and see whether this guy is really interested in a relationship now.

But, in my opinion...while I don't hate him for casually dating multiple people at the same time (you two weren't committed and he was upfront with you about it), I wouldn't be expecting him to suddenly turn into a sincere relationship-guy overnight. Sounds like the type who'll always have an eye out for a better deal, unfortunately.

*******************never forgive a man when he dus this. EVER ever ever.

i made that mistake with this one guy and no sooner had wed get back together he was making exucses to get rid of me, then a few months later he would come back and id stupidly forgive him. but not ever again.*******************

Just because they weren't exclusive, doesn't mean that he can get mad when she's no longer sexually available to him. Which is what he did, and that's what i see wrong with him and his behavior. If you have a girlfriend, don't try to screw someone else. He's only back because it didn't work out with the other chick. Don't think that he wont do the same the minute a better deal shows up.

100% w/ Asia on this one.

"hey, babe. homechick didn't work. . .so what's up with me and you?"

LMAO. he must think you're a donkey. THAT is more offensive than anything else that happend.

You're having too much fun, Asia. But you're right.

Don't. When it comes down to it he chose someone else. It happened to me and the relationship ended basically because of that. It's not worth it.

I dont know what should i say about this person.if he really love you ,he woulden,t do this job.....

Yea, I'm not getting all the hate on this guy. It sounds as if the OP was doing what most women do. Get all possessive when she has no right to be. He was not exclusive with her or you. So if he usually got some action from her why would anything be different this time. The only reason he's the bad guy, is b/c she was catching feeling from a casual FwB and when he was doing what he was supposed to do (date other people) her feelings got hurt.

Why not trust him? HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE OTHER GIRL!! If he would have hidden it then I would wonder why. But he told you b/c he had no reason not to. YOU WERE NOT HIS GIRL.

How does this make you 2nd best? He was never exclusive with this chick? But he wants that with you. Don't get caught up in your own drama and overthink this "problem".

Stop being insecure and go for yours. Give it a shot! You know you've got nothing else in the works b/c you've spent all this time mooning over him.

BUT..... PLAY IT COOL! Don't get all caught up and in love. Give it time...

Tell him you dont like LEFT OVERS and that he can go RECYCLE himself somewhere else.

Dont waste another minute on this douche, and go find someone who knows the second they lay eyes on you that you are a gorgeous find.

Never be a Plan B

Wow, this guy sounds like a real doofus! I vote to not forgive because you deserve better than to be some asshole's second choice. How much do you want to bet that this girl ended things with him when she realized what a selfish loser he is. So now he comes running back to you. This guy knows that you like him and so he wants to take advantage of that to get some ass! If you are going to think about him and regret your chance, then consider it. But I say if a guy will do this to you once, he will do it again. What happens the next time some girl who lives closer to him crushes on him? He'll ditch you pronto again. I have been through this, if a guy will go for another girl once, he will do it again. Good luck.

Lets say you guys hit it off and down the road you guys marry. What're you gonna tell your kids about how y'all got together?

"Well, Daddy got dumped by this one really hot chick, so he decided he'd settle with Mommy while he licked his wounds."

"And Mommy didnt think she was worth being wooed properly, so Mommy decided to settle with him, too."

Asia nailed it...

It's obvs. okay to screw with more than one person when you aren't exclusive, but he is just using this woman as backup, and he even wanted to get with her once he told her that he was going to be exclusive with the OTHER woman.

How do you know he wasn't just telling you about an "imaginary" other girl to try make you jealous? It backfired on him when you told him to go stay with your friend so he put the moves on you. Then all of a sudden it's not working with the other girl and he wants you back on an exclusive/official basis.
It's a lil sneaky, that's for sure!!

He's playing stupid games with you.Unfortunately what he's doing is not a crime but it still isn't nice and people get hurt. He gets pissed at you for standing up for yourself and not having sex with him even after he had already implied that you were his second choice.It boggles the mind....

Give the douchebag his walking papers unless you have the time to put up with whatever attention he happens to throw your way at his convenience.
Have more respect for yourself next time and avoid those types of so called relationships.They never last.

I disagree with those that don't think this guy is wrong. Yes- they were casually dating and he was honest about this other girl. BUT the fact that he turned right around and wanted sex after telling her he wanted to make it work with someone else- THAT is what gets me. You have self-respect OP, you know what to do.

are u member of answerology??
I have read a smiliar story more than once over there.
Well, to ur advice, if u REALLY love or want him that much, and talked to him and feel that he's somehow excused, forgive.
Otherwise, dump..there are lots of other fish in the sea!!