You either need to start being better friends with him and let him know about your feelings or get over it. Everyone feels the same way you do at some point but if you keep going like this it's going to make it harder on you and your friends. You split up with him for a reason and now you're both moving on. Whatever that reason it's enough to not get back with him. He's got every right to start seeing other people if you want to as well. You might want to start spending time with other friends or with just a few of the friends in your circle at a time so you don't have to see him. It could give you some time off to get over him a little bit and get your head on straight.

This issue is one so many of us have faced. None of us know how to handle it, I don't think. And I also don't think that it's necessarily healthy to be in the same places with him all the time, especially if/when he starts dating. There's no way of moving forward with that scenario.

Unfortunately, a lot of times we have to make life changes at a time like this. While it was really hard while it was happening, I had it sort of easy when I was in your situation because all the 'friends' decided that I had treated him badly and sort of took sides. What they didn't know was that my trying to shake loose of him was a result of his behavior towards me. But that's not really the point. But their attitudes helped me decide it was time to make a sweeping change in my life. I stopped hanging out with any of them, dropped out of the softball league we were all in, etc. etc., and I basically spent 6 months going to work and coming home. I forged a social life through work people, started going out with them more and more, and took my life in a completely different direction. I was much happier in that life once it got going, but again; that was my personal choice.

I think that you just have to do as JaimeLeah526 suggested, which is see other friends or see the friends in yours and your exes shared circle in smaller groups and only when he won't be there. It truly sucks, but you have to do it.

Good luck.

I think you really need some time to yourself, away from him. It's hard for anyone to have to see an ex on a regular basis, especially when you JUST broke up.

I would explain to your friends that you may be "absent" from some upcoming social gatherings and that you need some time to get over things and move on. If you don't take the time to do this, you're going to keep having these mixed feelings when you see him. You're going to keep questioning whether or not you did the right thing and keep wondering if you should get back together with him...and you'll certainly have a hard time if he brings another girl out to meet your friends.

I don't think it's healthy for either of you to not give yourselves the time to get over each other. Even though you know you're ready to move on and KNOW that you don't want to be with him, I still think you need this time.

It can't be expected that the two of you will go from being in a long-term, serious relationship to "just friends" overnight. Everyone needs the time to heal and reflect on things after a break-up, however amicable it may be.

I have definitely been in the same situation. It really does suck and there is no ideal way to get through it. After torturing myself for about 3 months by trying to suck it up by hanging out with all of my friends (my ex included), I decided it had to stop... it hurts a lot and becomes really unhealthy. After that, I would just hang out with 1-2 of my close friends at a time. I also started reaching out to old friends who I wasn't very close to anymore. Also, my ex and I were only able to become friends after 2 years of mostly avoiding each other. It just takes a lot of time but I promise, one day you will be able to think of him with someone else and not feel sick to your stomach. And when your ready... start going out (maybe with some of your female friends) and just meet some cute guys. It can be a fun ego boost. Good luck!

this is the "who gets custody of the firends" question. for me, it was pretty standard that we each "kept" the firends we had before and then moved on that way. with my parents, when couples divorced they sided with one person and the other one was no longer their friend. this is just thre reality that i have experienced, not saying this is for you.

honestly, i think you need to find at least 1 new friend that doesn't have a history with your ex so you can realx and not always feel like he may be brought up at any moment, that's not very relaxing. as time passes and your heart heals you'll feel differently. one day you won't be overwhelmed to hear what he's doing. then later on when you're in another relationship and you'll glad to hear he is too. today is just how you feel today, tomorrow is a different story

What a sh*tty place to be in!

I agree that right now, it's a not a healthy place for you to be, with your old circle of friends, that includes him. It's going to be harder to heal if you're constantly seeing him (especially out with someone else), hearing stories about him, etc.

Now is a great opportunity for some introspection -- maybe pick up a new hobby or sport you've been curious about (salsa dance?), meet some new friends, travel somewhere you've always wanted to go, branch out, spread your wings. As lonely and hard as it may be, try to make good use of your newfound freedom and use it as an opportunity for personal growth.

i don't have anything clever OR sh*tty to say...

sorry hunny-bun.

My husband and I are the friends in this situation and I really wish the couple in question would take some time for themselves before re-inserting themselves into situations where they are together and around all of us. It is really unhealthy and heartbreaking to watch these two wonderful people who are rightfully hurting spend time around each other. We've asked them to take some time, because they need it and it sounds like you need it to. Friends, the real friends, aren't going to go anywhere. Don't put yourself in a situation where you get wrapped up in what he is doing and go hang out with people who can support you without stipulation. When you make the decision to take care of your broken heart and not revisit the past, things will fall into place... I promise.

Great perspective BShax, no one ever thinks of the friends in this situation. I'm sure it's a lot of hell on the friends and a lot of confusion as to why a couple would torture themselves like this.

I agree with all of the above! You really can't expect things to be the same as they were and still hang out with your ex when you know it's killing you inside. It's time to hang out with your friends one on one. Take the initiative to plan events that doesn't involve him. Also make some new friends! You'll be able to relax and move on much easier this way.

I really get the feeling that deep down inside your not over him. That's why your so remorseful and sick over this. Also probably why you are practically torturing yourself by hanging out with him knowing it hurts you so much. Your friends probably keep bringing him up because you've told them a convincing story about how you've moved on and can handle it. Don't lie to yourself or your friends it's just going to bring about uncomfortable situations. I'm sure if your friends knew how you really felt they would make the effort not to bring him up and not invite you both to the same events. Good Luck, things get better with time!

I would just get new friends and not see those people for a while because your feelings of remorse are not going to go away good luck x

i've def been in this situation before and in the beginning it was more the exbf that got the friends in the split because i could not be around him. i tried to hang out with the girls more, because he was less likely to be out- they weren't going to invite him out if i was there, where as my guy friends didn't think about things like that. or if i was invited to a group thing i'd be like o who's all going and see if his name came up. i know he'd do that too occasionally cause i'd hear that he didn't go somewhere cause i was there. it took a while but it worked itself out. it got easier to deal with and he also just kinda faded away from our friend circle more.

so i guess my only advice would be to talk some time to yourself- hang with your girl friends that understand you don't want to see him for a little, and hang with any friends you might have that are completely unrelated. eventually if you care to keep the same friend circle he is in you'll have to re-emerge yourself, but giving yourself some time first will help

In my opinion I believe that you should give it some time. Of course in the beginning its going to be difficult. ESPECIALLY if you all share friends. But, try to be strong. Make sure that the feelings that you are getting are not those of regret or self pitty. That sometimes happens. Try avoiding certian places that you know he will be at. Till your stronger enough to actually see him.

If the relationship was sour maybe it was best for the both of you to go your seperate ways. And\or if this is the first time you guys broke up maybe space from eachother is what you actually needed. This way you seem to appreciate the other person a little more when you are not with them.

Me and my current boy friend spilt up 2 years ago. After a fews weeks we realized that we were taking the relationship as a joke. Now were happier than ever. Good luck sweetie

wishing you the best of luck!!