You and your boyfriend have been living together for the past two years in a small apartment. You’ve both been wanting to upgrade to something a little bigger so you’ve been trying to save diligently in order to make it happen.
One day you overhear your boyfriend on the phone with a friend complaining about how he lost $2,000 in an online poker match. To add insult to injury, he references previous losses as well and you didn't even know that he was gambling! You’re completely shocked and upset. You want to walk in there and scream at him for wasting that much money on a game when he should be saving, but then again, it's technically his money, not yours, so you're not sure what you can say. How do you handle this?
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I think it is time to make sure you have your own account without his name on it. this will help ensure that you will some savings.
1And if he dosn't tell you about the gambling, you should know where you stand **All alone**
You should be glad your not married and filing a joint return b/c it will be going against your earnings as well. I think you need to talk to him before things start missing in the house (i.e. camera, TV, computer). Gambling is a serious and most people think it's just the fun but some people do not know the reality of playing. Gambling is like crack for some people, they will kill, swindle their life savings, and crap on the people they love just for the next win.
2Tell him that if he doesn't save money there is no way you can afford to move in together. Have him give you money to put in your savings that he can't access and spend on gambling and let him do whatever he wants with the rest of his money.
3I don't care if its his money or not! Because of him, i'd probably have to pay for the upgrade to a bigger apartment and everything else. If he's already irresponsible with his money right now, what will it be like a few years down the road? Not cool.
I would tell him I accidentally overheard the conversation and that i'm concerned he's wasting away his savings that are supposed to go towards our future. If he can't put away money for our future, then there won't be an us anymore!
4o a guy i'm dating now gambles like crazy- and i hate it! for now i just ignore it- its not my money and we aren't dating seriously enough for me to say anything. though when he acts excited about his winnings i don't react and when he's in a bad mood about his losings i call him out on it. now if we ever got serious i'd be more vocal!
51st- i wouldn't be living with my boyfriend
2nd- it's good you found out that he had loser tendencies BEFORE you married him.
3rd- if i WAS a donkey living with him, i would've said something after he got off the phone.
when you live together, you're suppose to be a team. he apparently isn't being a team player. so he can either get the bench (straighten up) or get the hell on.
you gonna tell me a b*tch has been eating Top Ramen for 4 weeks straight, missed 2 sample sales, and is in desperate need of a perm (my afro-american counterparts know what that's like; naps hurt!), and you gonna gamble money away like an idiot (i know it's probably an addiction at this point)??!!!!!!
HEEEEELLLLLL f*ckin' naw!
red flags for the future.
6For one I certainly wouldn't go any further with the relationship especially towards marriage. I would talk to him, encourage him to seek counseling for a possible gambling problem and I'd be sure he did not have acces to any of my accounts. I'd close them all out and open new ones if I had to.
7This would definitely be a deal breaker for me. I'd like to say that I'd help him get out of the gambling addiction but things would definitely be over between us. I would not be able to stay with someone who did that.
8Total deal breaker. Not only does he gamble excessively, but keeps financial info from you. Dump him.
9yes, that's what I meant too - however,even though I would end the relationship I would still encourage him to get help. But as far as I'm concerned if there is no trust, then there is no chance for a healthy relationship.
10We should have to loose our weight to get boyfriend......
11Total deal breaker. Not only does he gamble excessively, but keeps financial info from you. Dump him.
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