Our emotions are very delicate and they can be easily bruised. Of course some people are more sensitive than others, but even if you have thick skin, we all get hurt feelings from time to time. Experiencing a broken heart is no laughing matter, which is why so many people overprotect themselves to avoid ever having to relive that pain. But when you overprotect, you often miss out on potential life experiences, when, in reality, putting yourself out there could be well worth the risk.
Now ladies, I'll be the first to admit that I'm guilty of overprotecting myself from time to time, so do tell: Are you one to build walls in order to protect yourself from getting hurt too?
Schiesser
Principles
Meltin Pot
I build walls for many reasons. Fear of commitment, fear of being intimate,etc. I am married, but at times the walls are still there. I have been through alot in the last 7 years and all I can say is, I will never be 100% comfortable with anyone. Life made me what I am. He understands. We are close, but I shut down at a point. Over time it gets better and I hope it continues to do so!
1I definitely protect myself because i'm afraid of everything. Dumb anxiety.
Unfortunately this has pushed some undeserving people away but the ones who fought through my wall swayed me that isolation isn't always safe either.
2i really do many subconscious things to protect myself. I think that's why I haven't had a boyfriend in two years. I've dated a few, but it never goes past the first date. I always find something wrong with them! i can't bear to think of going through all of that pain again.
3Yes I do. I wish I didn't and I wish I knew how to stop it.
4I agree w/ all of the ladies above 100%!
5Lele777 - right there with you!
6I don't like to put myself in a situation where I know there is a chance I will get hurt. I don't think I'm missing out on anything though.
7Ditto-- definitely do this... will not flirt or even smile at guys because I'm afraid of being rejected... at 22 years old! Really really wish I could stop...
8I do this. I kind of agree with Purplerainangel about the not smiling at guys part. But I mean, I will definitely flirt back with someone, ONLY if they flirt with me first because then I have the idea that they are interested in me. But it's not like I will just smile at any cute guy that I see. Sometimes, I can tell when a guy is looking at me but I'd be too shy to smile at him or anything.
I assume that no one likes to get hurt, including myself, but I feel like I seriously need to put myself out there more. Relationships/love wise, I understand that the alternative to not getting hurt ever is even worse.
9Hmmm not so much.
10WALLS ?! Ohhh yeah, i have serious walls. I am 34 and divorced twice. ( got married really really young the first time) The second time around I thought I had met my life partner. And he felt the same way. It was always " us " against the world he would say. We were best friends. He could walk into the room and any doubts or fears I had about anything were gone. I knew he had my back and he knew i had his. NO DOUBTS !
11He deceived me for years. He was abusing drugs and spending countless money. Taking from our kids and not taking care of responsibilities. We didnt recover and divorced a year ago. Our family and home were torn apart. I hate this feeling now that I have. The one that says " never let anyone in again" I get asked out most weekends, ( if i would go ) but I always come up with a million excuses for them. I really really hate it, and I keep thinking that i am not getting any younger and the social scene here is almost non existent. But I cant help it. I feel i never want a relationship again. Please tell me this will pass....
I used to be like this, but not really anymore.
12Oh yes, I'm sure I have tons of walls.....what can you do?.... :-/
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13Yes, like other people commented, I build walls too, especially with guys. I think the reason I've never had a boyfriend/ serious relationship is because I can't trust guys, no matter how hard I try. When I do, it always gets thrown back in my face.
14Definitely. I'm the type of person who will automatically detach my emotions when I feel like something is going sour in a relationship and try to analyze it as if its a job and not a relationship. I know its a really bad habit...and I'm working on it.
15samantha I'm very sorry about your situation, how terrible. I haven't experienced something so traumatic, so I don't know for certain it will pass. But I do have faith in human nature's ability to move forward, even if it takes a while to do so.
As for me, I'm rejection sensitive. And I'm sure I build walls. But I think that both of those are completely normal.
I mean, like with everything, there are levels of sensitivity and walls that are unhealthy. But I would say that having no walls or sensitivity to rejection isn't entirely healthy, either.
16my walls are high. i dont think anybody knows everything about me. i just dont trust easily. i will i was a more open and trusting person though
17I don't know if I build walls, but I put up a tough front. Of course, I open up when I realize he's a good guy, like with my boyfriend. Otherwise, I guess the guy never gets to know the real me.
18Yes, I do. But I'm open to dropping that wall, if I think the other person is trustworthy and positive. I like to get to know others first before I consider lowering my wall.
19Oh, gosh, concentric walls. Walls upon walls upon walls.
I still "date" like I'm in 3rd grade (aka: tell my friends I like a boy and make them swear never ever to tell him thereby never dating him). I also am sure I can't flirt. It's the most nerve-wracking of things.
so, yes, the great wall has NOTHING on me
20def have walls, coming down with the help of therapy. but its hard to let them down when u risk being hurt again. but am realizing u miss out on a lot if you dont....
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