DearSugar --

My soon-to-be husband and I are getting married in May and we have a baby due in September. One of our co-workers, who he works more closely with, recently told him that she wished he was marrying her daughter and having a baby with her. It was like my bubble was burst. He is happy with me and excited about the wedding and baby.

I think she was out of line and horribly rude. He just brushed it off and told her he was happy with me and that her daughter would find someone one day. How do I handle this situation? It infuriates me, but I do not want to cause a scene at work. Help me!!! -- Stung Stacy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Stung Stacy --

It's difficult from your note to gather the history of other experiences with this co-worker, if there's been tension, rudeness, or friction in the past. And I can't tell if your fiance reported the conversation to you or if you were in the room at the time. Barring those nuances, I wonder if she may have meant this as a compliment to your husband -- a statement about his qualities and character? If she hasn't be unpleasant or catty to you in the past, Stung Stacy, there's a good chance she didn't meant that she'd rather he marry her daughter and not marry you, only that she'd like a man like him as her son-in-law. In her own way, she could have been expressing concern for her daughter's future or choices within that sentence, too.

If you believed she meant this remark literally and hurtfully, I can understand why you would be so upset. But until we know her intentions, I suggest giving her the benefit of the doubt and trusting that the statement was in no way a reference to your worthiness or suitability. You have many exciting and wonderful things happening right now. A baby! A wedding! And the man who will soon be your husband! Please don't let this one incident damage your work environment or interfere with your domestic adventures!



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