Let's say your man smokes cigarettes and you want him to quit. You've tried talking to him about it, but nothing changes. So you throw him an ultimatum: No sex until he quits. Of course, that proves that you mean business, but is it right to withhold sex to get what you want?
How about you? Have you ever kept your pants on until your partner agreed to something or did something for you? Has anyone ever refused to give you sex because they wanted something? Is this an innocent little ploy or unacceptably immature?
Source
Christine Bec
Tory Burch
Tom Tailor
ha, he'll just got find someone who WILL have sex with him
sorry.
1*go
2No way would I do that! I enjoy sex just as much as he does (if not MORE) so why I would I punish MYSELF????
3Maybe I wont' do his laundry for a week hahahhaa.
im so against withholding sex to get what u want.
doesnt work
pointless
u'll be affected just as much
that of course is different than not having sex cuz ur mad at him.
4I hate the idea of witholding sex, like it's a weapon we have over men- I don't have sex with my boyfriend to get things from him.
Plus I could never last!
5It just seems like playing games to me. I don't like ultimatums. Issues should be worked out by talking about them.
6hmm . . .i usually get what i want anyways. (lol)
i never really had those type of issues where my bf wouldn't do something i asked him and i held out on sex with him.
i think Dan rather i hold out on sex than duke it out in an argument with me . . .but then again, he's an attorney, so his career IS arguing.
so maybe i should hold out on sex instead of arguing my point because he gets off on arguments. LOL!
but all jokes aside, i don't play games like that. sh*t like that backfires and mutha-f*ckas be with some other h* who could care less, then i'd be on here crying about how my BF dumped me suddenly.
7holycrap. usually what i want is sex!!
8The only time I've ever done that is when it was something directly related to sex. If it has nothing to do with sex, it's rather silly to take away sex as a consequence of not getting what you want.
9I've never seen the point in withholding from my partner. You can't force someone to stop doing something.
10Plus, you're hurting yourself too! Who wants to go without? ^_~
oh my god. I was jokingly said to my bf that no sex until he stop smoking. he got really upset...i do hate him smoking, but i can't stand no having sex with him. i hope he will quit soon, but i dont think withhold sex is the way to pursuade him.
11This is a desperate move that will most likely back-fire that the pathetic girl who tries it! Plus she kinda screwing herself over too...
12The word "withholding" implies that you some how owe someone sex. Uh, no. It's a choice remember? No one can force you and no one should guilt you about something that really isnt an obligation.
13i have tried. it doesn't work, and i end up cracking and NEEDING to have sex with him.
14I don't think that'd work with my guy... but usually withholding affection or using the pouty face usually works.
15I agree with those who have indicated that sex should not be used as a weapon, ever.
Not to mention the fact that if you're dating someone who smokes and you don't like that why are you dating him to begin with? Now if it's something he took up after you started dating, then it's probably a topic of discussion that the two of you should have. I never have understood the whole mentality of trying to change people to fit your standards - particularly someone you're romantically invloved with. You should not go into a relationship with thoughts of wanting to change things about your partner.
16No, that's utterly manipulative. No one should ever manipulate a person they supposedly love. If you can't get your way though communication and reasoning, then your relationship has some deeper issues.
17Since I personally don't like smokers, I won't date them. If I want something, I'll talk to him, and if that doesn't work, we'll have to figure something out because I won't stand for it. Of course, learning the accept your man for the way he is would also be an easier alternative. Coming into the relationship, if you knew he was a smoker, that's your problem. Don't use petty tactics to manipulate your man.
18I think if a girl does this she's a douche bag
19Dear, I wish you would use more neutral terms and photos in your posts with regard to sexuality. Not all people on this site are heterosexual. If you use terms like 'partner' or 'significant other', instead of 'your man' or 'boyfriend', it would make the posts seem friendlier and more open to people who are not heterosexual! Just a suggestion..
20RockandRepublic said:
It doesn't work for me. Although I can promise a blowjob as a reward to get him to do something, I would use this as a last resort. Plus, I want sex more than him, so it punishes me more than him!
22I think I only did when he had an assignment for school ... or it was 10 pm on Tax Day and he still didn't file ... only because these things were time sensitive and I didn't want him snoozing instead of taking care of important things.
23I think that it's really wrong. There are so many other ways to go about things. I think if you put your intimacy on the line for something petty, expect the intimacy (and likely the relationship) to go downhill.
24Nope, don't agree with it at all.
25ffemt1201 said it best. He'll get it somewhere else. Plus why should you go without because he keeps screwing up?
26OOps, just noticed I forgot to end the "blockquote" tag after I finished quoting from RockandRepublic in my post above. Her comment is the first paragraph. Starting from "100% Agree" is my stuff. Sorry if there was any confusion!
27I don't do it ever..... it's pointless and very immature.
28The only time I hold out on sex is if I'm mad at him. Never to get something for personal gain.
29i don't agree with withholding sex. i like what thorswitch said
30It's childish and I don't like to do it.
However, I think it kind of happens naturally. If he's done something that's really upset me, then emotionally, I can't be intimate with him until he apologizes and/or we compromise, truce etc. My body is very tied in with my emotions I think. I don't know if that's true for all women, but I know for some of us it is...
31LOL...if i can afford to smoke i can afford to pay for a happy ending. It that worth the risk ladies?
32Nope. It shouldn't be done, and it doesn't work anyway. Maybe I tried that once when I was young and my partner just shrugged and said he could careless about the sex. Then he just walked away. Goes to show you men aren't as stupid as you think, and then you feel like an idiot. Live and learn.
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