Totally can be an accident, one of my close friends had the condom break, had plan b fail (only 80% effective!) So it can def. happen even when people do their best to protect themselves against pregnancy

why would anyone care what other people thought of their choice to become parents? anyway, bc isn't 100%, it happens (obviously).

I don't believe that having a baby can be an accident. If the condom DOES so happen breaks on a woman that didn't want a baby, she would of has a back up plan,.i.e taking a pill or going on the shot while him wearing a condom!

I'm a very careful person and all that talk about, "it was in the heat of the moment..." excuse, doesn't work!

I genuinely believe that accidental pregnancy is a vaid explanation. If there's nothing deliberate or planned, then it qualifies as an accident.

I think the problem and controversy might surround the sometimes negative connotation of "accident."

I don't think that's fair.

My married friend was on birth control which she took on a timer and she still got pregnant. Apparently her doctor says that with those low dose pills it happens far more often than with regular pills.

Jillz, I've heard the same thing!

I heard a story once where a lady was taking birth control religiously and she still got pregnant and the Dr. basically said 'whoops I guess it wasn't a strong enough dose for your body'!!
So yeah I'd call that an accident. I do think it 'happens' more than what it should statistically. In other words yeah I do think people use it as an excuse when they really wanted one. Which I don't get! There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby!
Oh and I really like the it was semi-planned!

Hmm... if one wants want to avoid getting pregnant but still want children later on, it would be a good idea to use multiple effective forms of birth control, instead of just condoms or the pill. Just because it says 99% effective doesn't mean that extra 1% isn't possible.

Unfortunately we don't want to REALLY take that much responsibility, but truth be told no, I don't think you really can have an accident. Because there are SO many options, you double and triple up, and if you don't, then to me it isn't an accident. If you are just using condoms and relying on Plan B for backup, then no, you can't call that an accident b/c you know how unreliable condoms are. If you are on your birth control (and I'm talking usually the shot b/c sorry we all know that we've missed a pill..once) and using condoms, and being very aware of your period timing, then it is a very freak chance that you could get pregnant. For the MOST part no, it really isn't an accident tho:) We just like to say it is b/c then we don't have to take all the blame.

well i agree with jedimasterami- thats an unfair statement. not only does one have to deal with an unplanned pregnancy, but she has to be accused of lying about it.

women are so hard on women.

Yeah. Whose business is it anyway if the pregnancy is accidental or not, Dear Sugar?

Aww, ladies come on. I've seen plenty of "personal" topics on here.
Half of these topics, women ask for advice on!

If they tell you that it was an accident of their own free will, why do you have to wonder if you can take that at face value? If you asked them, why is it any of your business (unless of course your the girl's parents) there's not much you can do to change the fact. And in either situation you've already made up your mind about the how's and why's regarding the pregnancy anyway. Abstinence is the only thing that's 100%, I mean even having your tubes tied doesn't always work, then again birth control works differently on everyone what may be 99% effective for one person may only be 50% effective for another.

good point almost famous, there was a nice debate about pubic hair going on here yesterday haha

I'm sure it's possible for some fluke to happen even to the most careful couples. But I'm equally sure that these flukes account for very little of the reported "accidents". There's far too many people who get all "Well, we're just gonna be lax with birth control or skip the birth control and see what happens" and then get all surprised when the predictable thing happens.

It's strange, it's almost like people see it as "too anal" to plan something like reproduction, even though that would be the wise course of action, 'cause seriously, you better be prepared for something this big. But, no no, you're supposed to let it "just happen", because then it would be "natural". Hmm....

Anyone else ever tell someone you're not looking to get pregnant and then the person hopes you have an accident? One time someone (who is allegedly my friend) hoped I have an accident and discover it too late to "take care of it". I mean, WTF kind of psychotic BS is that? But people seem to say stuff like this all the time and you're supposed to take it as perfectly acceptable talk and not punch them in the mouth.

I've heard of many girls getting pregnant while on the birth control Ortho-Tri-Cyclen-Lo. The lower the dosage of horomones (not everyone takes the birth control perfectly...), and if you don't follow the regimen completely (like taking the birth controls while using prescription drugs, not taking it the same time everyday, forgetting a pill), the more likely it is that pregnancy can occur. If you want to avoid pregnancy altogether, I suggest condoms and either a) a birth control with a higher dosage of horomones or b)an IUD, not a copper one though...those are only 92% effective while the other ones are 99.9% effective.

I believe from personal experience that it can be an accident. I unfortunately miscarried, but it was an enormous surprise to both of us.

You know, not all women's systems can handle birth control without major side effects - yes, even low dose can prose problems - and barrier methods aren't 100%. And did you know, even if a man has had a vasectomy, there is still a (very) small possiblity that he can impregnant a women?

So yes, of course it's possible to get pregnant by accident.

Sometimes it can be an accident, but if you're using the birth control correctly, accidents are unlikely to happen.

My one friend just had a baby, and I asked her how it happened. She said that her period had just ended and she didn't think she could get pregnant, so they had sex. And he ejaculated inside of her. Without a condom on. She was honestly surprised that she got pregnant, and I was thinking, "Are you freaking serious?"

Also, shots are ineffective. They are ineffective because you get a large dose of horomones in the shot, but when you are getting closer to your next injection, the dosage of horomones is lower. So it starts out strong, but then it weakens as you get closer to your next appointment.

my friend was told by doctors she might not ever get pregnant- then she was on meds for a medical reason that told her she wouldn't get pregnant. yea she missed the meds once and oops she was pregnant! and i had a friend who's wife was on the pill but some other meds she was on counteracted its effectiveness and she got pregnant. so yea i believe in accidents!

Ladies, News flash:

A guy knows exactly when he is about to ejaculate- he can easily pullout right before it gets to the opening of the penis- dont be fooled. Every guy knows and has time to pull out, if he tells you otherwise he is lying. Keep in mind that from a male perspective, there are gonna be some vaginas that feel extremely good, incredible even, and he may not want to pull out, but he knows. My first love and I dated for over 2 1/2 years and I never once ejaculated inside her with or without a condom...and i knew every time when i was about to. Therefore, I dont think that there can be any accidental pregnancies.

If you aren't actively preventing such a thing then no, it's not an accident. I've heard some people that we're stupid enough to say, "We weren't using protection, but i didn't think i'd get pregnant. It didn't happen before...."

LOL WTF? ^^^

When I heard this question, I thought of all the celebs who are pregnant. That's why I voted that accidents do happen, but it's used as an excuse a lot. I feel like these pregnancies weren't planned, but also weren't planned against. It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of these celebs don't take birth control because they think it will make them fat. And then, oops, they get pregnant. I just don't think they take the proper precautions.

My aunt had her tubes tied and still got pregnant, so yes, accidents do happen.

I have an IUC. It's like, 99.8% effective. I'm not about to go through the trouble of "backing up" the IUC, because I'm in a place in my life where my husband and I could handle a pregnancy and the ensuing child. However, we're not trying for it, and we don't intend to for a few years. If my IUC were to fail, I would still consider that an accidental pregnancy.

My friend's girlfriend's b/c failed, and because her periods have always been really irregular (she sometimes went months without getting one) and she wasn't a "show-er," by the time they realized she was pregnant it was far too late for anything. I'd say that counts as an accident.

And I agree with the others who think it's fair to go around second-guessing. Obviously, you can *always* be more careful. But how many of us actually triple up on birth control? Hmm... DearSugar, maybe that should be the next poll?

this question really rubs me the wrong way.

XD and yes, let's prevent accidental pregnancies by pulling out... because we all know how well that works

If you weren't planning and trying to get pregnant, then it's an accident. doesn't mean mama doesn't love the baby.

i think people just get all uptight about crap when it comes to kids.

call it what you want.

but if i got knocked up right now by my boyfriend, it would be just that, knocked up. i'm sure Dan (my bf) would love it because he wants to get married and he knows i don't pop free babies.

i feel what Rock & Republic is saying. ppl DO make excuses.

as long as you love the lil' sh*t in the end, it don't matter.

It can totally be an accident.

I love this site but sometimes Dear Sugar can be really naive. This here:

"But part of me thinks that's an excuse so people won't judge them for conceiving so soon into their marriage or after giving birth. In this day and age when there are so many birth control options available, it seems close to impossible to have an accidental pregnancy if you're using them correctly."

is seriously below par and wrong on several levels. Step it up.

@22: Speak for yourself, lol. There is such a thing as ejaculation without a climax which happens to men who are sexually inexperienced.

As for accidents happening, I believe if for some reason the 1% of my 99% effective birth control wins over, then sure, it can be accident. However, most companies with a birth control method of 99% effectiveness or higher attribute the 1% for liability purposes. Yes, it does say on the package if one uses the product correctly, there is that 1% minimal chance of them getting pregnant. It's rather like a disclaimer for those who believe they are taking the birth control accurately and correctly when in fact they may have been a little late on their daily pill, weekly patch, monthly ring, or quarterly shot.

Also, as someone has stated, your hormone levels do fluctuate from the time your birth control intake to the time you are getting ready for your next intake. That's why I favor the ring and its constant stream of hormones versus all other methods.

LMAO.

i just read what #22 said about pulling out!!!

LOLOL. . . .

like a high school urban myth.

you know b*tches have been known to get knocked up from pre-skeet.

so the theory of pulling out is busted right there alone.

plus, THAT is more than irresponsible.

The best contraceptives are useless if you don't know how to use them right.

#22: Oh, the old coitus interruptus myth.... only Russian roulette is safer.

Accidents do happen, but most of those "accidents" are people being irresponsible with their birth control. My step daughter couldn't believe she got prego when she ran out of birth control pills and didn't get them refilled and didn't use a backup method. Umm hello?!
SO's ex wife quit taking her pills because she really thought that having a baby could save their marriage.

That being said accidents do happen

Dont believe in accidents at all. There is so much out there that if one doesnt want to get preg. one doesnt have to get preg. Married 4 years..taking BC...no kids.

More pregnancies are accidents than they are on purpose. People have sex to have sex, not to produce an heir (usually). I've only known one couple, among many of my friends with children, who preconceived the idea, and the female half reminds me of Hillary Swank in Juno.

Is this a real post? I mean seriously...who cares about this?

This question is kind of ridiculous in my eyes...of course there can be an accidental pregnancy!! I had one with my daughter, I was 18 and in no way shape or form ready to have a child....especially with who the father is...it just kind of happened ONE time and that was all it took.

Wow, this question kind of sucks. First off, most couples in a serious relationship/marriage that plan of having kids just maybe not at that time or whatever might not always feel the need to have an army of different BC's.

Second if I told somone that I got pregnant by accident and they accused me of using it as an "excuse" I would be seriously insulted. The way I get pregnant is absolutely Non of anyones business, and not to mention, if I was planning it I think I would feel a little better about it and more likely I would tell you that we were careless because we were "kind of wanting to have another but not really planning it".

Yes I think there are accidents..............It almost makes me want to wish one on all the people who don't believe it can happen. But who cares really.

Sorry, I think I have PMS...........I'm over it now

I think it can be if a condom breaks, or BC fails. However, if you don't use contraception, that excuse is stupid. I was a "mistake" -- no protection, my moms first time, blah blah blah. My dad used that against me, saying I was a mistake, and I made his life miserable. I say to him go f*ck yourself...it's not my fault you couldn't contain yourself enough to bother with a condom.

if you make the conscious decision not to use protection, you make the decision to accept your consequence.

I use birth control, so since I don't want a kid, I'm DOING something about it.

Yes — As we all know, birth control isn't 100 percent effective.

Totally true! There are many people who are proctecting themselves but still become pregnant, its unforunate, but it happens. Hey go on the pill and use a condom if your not ready for kids yet.

I absolutely think there can be accidents.

What I think irritates me is just when people are irresponsible with their bodies. My best friend's friend got pregnant coz she wasnt on bc and had an abortion, a year later she was pregnant again and decided to keep the baby, a year later she was pregnant again denied that it could be possible for 2.5 months but then miscarried. To me that is being irresponsible. I don't think you can call it an accident when you are not using birth control as in her case.

woops *decided that it couldn't be possible*

I got pregnant while I was on low-dose birth control. I took it religiously. It was definitely an accident- I was hoping to wait another six months to get pregnant.

Doesn't mean I don't love my child.

And I agree, I think the tone of the question is rather judgmental. Obviously, if birth control is not 100% effective, then accidents exist. Come on now.

i was an accidental pregnancy- my mother said she faithfully took her BC pills correctly (and i believe her- this is a woman who takes the whole bottle of antibiotics, at the exact same time every day, until the doctor tells her she can stop) but hey. BC fails.

this is why my fiance and i use both BC AND condoms!

I am currently carrying an accidental pregnancy. I had a miscarriage in January, and was trying to wait until the summer to try again. We were using condoms and ended up pregnant.

I am happy to be pregnant, but would have preferred to wait.