I've remained friends with my exes and that's only because I worked at it. I tried to be kind when I initiated the break ups and gave them their space. My exes all started out as friends and we shared a lot of the same friends. I didn't want to hurt the group dynamic.

I try to always remain friends...I mean at some point, they were like a best friend to me!
Sometimes, though, things happen you can't help and you can't stay friends or see each other.

I remained friend with my ex and I'm thankful for it. After being friends for 3 years and hanging out with his friends I'm in love with his best friend and he's happy for us. He is also engaged right now.

I only remain friends with those who I've only dated less than a yr. That is because I haven't been deeply in love with them and it was easier to be friends with them. For the guys whom I've had a long term relationship with them, I can't do it. Either he gets the wrong message or I do and I want to avoid that.

If I actually liked the person as a friend, then of course I would remain friendly with my friend's ex. And I think it would be very immature if my friend had an issue with it.

Well...I personally think it's okay if you were friends with the person before they got together with your friend. Or if they were part of your circle/group of friends.

I actually met my best friend Mary through my good friend Brent, they dated for a couple of years off and on back in high school/college. They broke up, but I stayed friends with Mary...she had become part of our circle of friends and I think it would have been terrible to alienate her because of the break-up.

And it's funny because Brent and I lost touch several years ago, but Mary and I are still as close as we ever were.

I've always dated guys from a separate social group to avoid awkward situations. But I only have one ex boyfriend who I don't speak to. But when I bump into him from time to time we get along fine. I don't like to break up on bad terms, if possible.

IMO I don't think it works. People always try but it's just so awkward. If you're in the same group and it was a mutual decision than fine but if one person is dumped and heartbroken it's not going to happen.

Would you remain friends with your FRIEND'S EXBOYFRIEND?

not your exboyfriend! that's a whole other topic!

I've fortunately never had this happen. Mainly because I don't become buddies with my friend's bf's. If I was friend with both of them before they started dating, then I would remain friends with them post-breakup. but i try not to set people up for that exact reason.

I'm having this very problem right now but it's my SISTER'S exboyfriend. They dated for several years and he's like a member of the family. We've all hung out together as friends and he has come to all our family functions too. So now, I'm trying to be respectful of my sister (who thinks she can do better) but I really like this guy. I finally just had to ask her how she felt about it. In this circumstance she says she understands our attachment to him and doesn't mind if we stay friends with him as long as we don't flaunt it in front of her or take sides and get in the middle of it. In other words, we've had to create a new kind of friendship with new rules in order to keep this guy in our lives. It's working out pretty well so far.

two of our bestfriends were together for 7 years. They broke up and it was hard to figure out how we were going to deal with it. They were both over constantly and meant the world to our kids. Obviously we weren't ditching either one of them.

We just made sure not to get caught up in the bashing never saying anything negative to either one of them about the other if we were trying to comfort or help one of them on a hard night. We just listened and tried to keep things positive. For about 2 years we had to kind of try to plan things around it and have them over seperately. We never had any problems. Also I think it's best to be honest about still being friendly with the other person and to tell them both not to expect any favortism.

I can remain friendly with an ex, but as far as being friends...I don't see that as a possibility. In my experience one or the other continued to harbor some romantic feelings and that would cause problems and make maintaining a friendship impossible.

I became BF with my ex's sister and we are still close. ALthough we share a child so it makes things easier. I would not mind if my friends stayed friends with my ex if the breakup was amicable if he was shady I might feel differently. If they could not tell me about him and vice versa I'd be cool and would hope my friend would be cool if it was in reverse

PS What with the random Taye Diggs lookalike in the pic

@TidalWave: LOL! I wanted to point that out but decided to bite my tongue.

@mizzneilsen: This happened to my family when my boyfriend and I broke up for a while. My mother still invited him over for our weekly dinner at her house....awkward! He sat right next to me, too, in his usual spot. We eventually got back together, but it was weird for a while. Maybe my mom was trying to get us back together, and if so, I'm glad she did.

I pretty much exactly feel the way Indigo feels about it. There's the occasional email or instant message to see how the other is doing, but there will always be hurt feelings or unrequited feelings on one side or the other so friendships are difficult.

Yeah, I totally misread that question too, but luckily hadn't posted my answer until after reading some of the others.

As to my ex's friends - well for one, we were in a mutual circle and none of them were particularly close to him, so that really was a no brainer. They were my friends too. I've since moved and lost contact. To the other, he moved to where I lived and didn't really have any friends of his own.

I think it would be weird to maintain friendships with the ex's friends but not with the ex. Awkward.

Yeah i think most of you guys missed the gist of the article...it isn't about YOUR ex, but your FRIEND'S ex! I think it is fine and is selfish of the friend to be upset about it, unless the breakup was on very bad terms (like abusive), or if you really weren't that great of friends with the boyfriend when they were together. I remember my very best 2 friends in high school went to spring break with my ex and his friend and i found out when they stumbled upon us during a beach afternoon at Daytona. It was a huge shock b/c (1) he was abusive and it was a pretty bad break up that had only happened a week earlier, (2) they didn't really like him anyways and (3) they were sharing a hotel room with him. I think it feels like a bit of betrayal at first, but then you realize it's really no big deal, and it would only continue to harbor bad feelings if they started to date them. But then again it all depends on how close the relationship was (on the verge of marriage?) and if they start up a relationship afterwards...and how old you are. I think you care a lot more when you're young, everything is a huge issue when you're teens/early twenties/immature/newbie-to-love lol.

Two of my friends broke up late last year and I've remained friends with both of them. In fact, I think I'm better friends with HIM now, while I was closer to HER in the past. She's changed a lot in the last 2 years though, so it's really easy to see things from his perspective--Not to mention, I'm dating his brother. LOL. But seriously, sometimes that can be REALLY hard. Especially when you all used to get together on a regular basis and you now have to figure out who to include in activities if they're not exactly on a speaking level yet. Ugh.

I would stay friends would the side that is least at fault for the break-up, or who I am closer with. Other people shouldn't dictate who I am friends with.

I tried remaining friends with one of my friend's exes, and invited her to a party I threw. He was so upset she was there, and later told me that he just didn't want to hang out if she would be around. I felt really badly, because if it were me in that position I would have been upset with him too!

Sometimes, you become better friends with the boyfriend or girlfriend, and in that case, it does make sense to remain friends with them after a breakup. I met my best friend through her boyfriend, and I can't even imagine ditching her now that they broke up, just because I was friends with him first.

I think staying friends with a friend's ex-bf is fine to do as long as you follow one key rule: DO NOT budge about being neutral! If they ask about each other, tell them you have no interest in being in the middle. It's one thing to listen if they are upset and need to talk, but becoming their go-between jeopardizes both friendships.

It also matters a lot how long they were together... it's the opposite situation, but I was with my ex for 3 years and grew very close to his best female friend. He and I broke up 5 years ago, but I still talk to her every day. and she didn't "choose" me over him; he understood that she and I became very close.

if i wasn't that close with him when they were dating (ie, wouldn't hang around him otherwise), then of course not.

i dunno. i'd keep it to "hi" and "bye".

my bestfriend's 2nd hubby was part of our cirle (grew up with him), but when they divorced, i didn't really talk to him anymore . . .alot of it had to do with how he treated my BFF.

she wouldn't be mad if i went to lunch with him, but to be honest, i just wouldn't. we don't have anything to talk about.

My roommate is giving me a hard time right now because I'm still friends with her ex but she seems to forget that I only got to know her through him... but pointing that out to her would be kind of harsh too, I guess.

I'm friends with every guy I've ever dated with the exception of one. And I was friends with him after we stopped dating, it's only been more recently that we've stopped speaking to each other. I'm attending his wedding in June though; talk about awkward! The bride invited me and I'm best friends with the maid of honor.

Ack! Didn't read the question right. A friend's ex? haha Well, that's trickier. I'm friends with most of my friends' exes because we're all friends in a large group. They were usually friends in our group before they started dating.

to be honest, i don't think ive ever really been in that situation. most of my girlfriends never really dated circles of friends. i have, however,kept in contact with some of the girls that some of my guy friends date..but it was more i became friends with them while they dated and then a few weeks after the breakup we would contact thru like myspace or something

I've remained friends with my ex, but it took time & space to get to this point. He says I still make him uncomfortable in person, but when we talk online, things are just peachy. I think he feels awkwardness in person because we're just not the same people we were when we were dating. I guess that's normal. At least we're still civil & can share the same friends.

I just realized I answered the wrong question. HAHA. I've stayed friends with my friends' exes.... HOWEVER, I am still loyal to my friend. I make it a point to worry about their feelings, etc.

Assuming my friend is closer to me by some degree and they were not the fault for a relationship ending poorly, I would respect his/her wishes to either remain friends or not with their ex. There are few things I cannot forgive no matter how close my friendship is with a person. I don't tolerate backstabbing or shameless cheating on an innocent person who is a total gem. If I were to learn my friend did such a thing, it's grounds for me ending that friendship and remaining friends with their ex.

Depends on how close my friendship was to the ex before the other friend broke up with him, and what difficulties would arise from staying friends with both. I've done a mix of both staying and not staying friends with friends ex's before.

Friends, yes. Superduper close, no.

I typically dislike my friends' exes, since they hurt someone close to me. However, I do love my guy friend's ex. They never cheated on or hurt one another, so I respect both of them. She's good friends with my sister, so I see quite a bit of her and she's a sweet girl.

I usually can't because if a fight happened between the two of them I have to hear about it and take a side. If I remain neutral with the ex I would make my friend feel I'm being politically correct rather than understanding her feelings. It's interesting though for the first time in my life I am interested in trying to keep in touch with a woman who is a ex of one of my husbands friends. It could get sticky though. He's left her and stays with another woman.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wouldn't talk to my friends ex much.. i wouldn't completely stop being friends with them but i would distance myself..

i broke up with my ex about a month ago and she continues to hang around my friends.. 2 of my friends just bought a house together so my ex and been there just about everyday helping them out.. i get there to help out and its awkward every time because i have no interest in seeing her everyday especially when its not my choice.. i don't want her to be around everyday but don't want to make my friends have to choose either me or her..
i feel like my ex lost the privilege of being friends with my friends when we broke up.. is that selfish?

I actually have a problem with my current boyfriend staying friends with his ex of which he had a six year relationship with. The only thing is she is not part of any clang nor do they share any group of friends in a any way.

From the start I said that I was happy with the telephone contact but no meetings. He agreed. Later down the line they started meeting on special occasions for her birthday and his birthday she sent Xmas cards and so forth. I ended up breaking off the relationship because from the very start I said I couldn't accept them meeting. He says that he doesn't want to end the relationship but at the same time he doesn't want to end the meetings with his ex and that he will have to think about it and get back to me.

I have met him half way and said that it would be fine for the 'telecommunication' however the physical meetings would just be a no no for me. It feels wrong in my heart and I can't help the way that I feel.