In many cultures, the process of arranged marriages still takes place. In fact, they are not always as archaic as the Western world makes them out to be. While parents and close family members may assist in choosing the eligible men, many families want their children to make the final decision.
Obviously for most of us, the notion of letting our parents pick whom we should or shouldn't date seems like a silly idea, but why should it be? Our parents know us better than anyone else and they are truly looking out for our well-being so ladies, let me ask you, would you let your parents play matchmaker?
Barbara Bui
9monate
Ben Sherman
I'd probably end up with someone boring
1haha Lizzard. True.
2For my mother's point of view- I'd end up with a man that's goofy, childless, work a regular nine to five, cares and I would have to forgive him if he cheated on me multiple times...
My father's point of view- I would be with a man that was a hard worker, takes great care of me, and loves me...
So basically, I'd be with a nice man if I listened to my parents. However, I wouldn't listen to my mother about the forgiving a cheater! Once anyone betrays me, we're through!
3If my parents changed personalities and decided to try to set me up on a date, I suppose I would give it a shot. But let them pick? Nope.
4Many of my coworkers all have arranged marriages and they're happy. It's not for me though. My dad wishes, but never gonna happen. He would just pick someone rich
5Well, I really don't believe my mother would have my best interests at heart. She would have her best interests at heart; she'd pick someone for me that sounds rich and impressive because she seems to think that impressing others is the ultimate goal in life. I'm sure it would be a lovely bonus to have a husband with oodles of money, which would probably be her #1 criteria for picking a guy for me, but I think love and similar values and lifestyle goals are more important than money. My mom wouldn't care about those things and even if she did, she couldn't pick love for me. That's something that needs to grow on its own, without interference from others. I would never in a million let my mom pick a man for me. I think a large part of the problem is that similar values are so important to me, and I don't share many values with my mother, so it would be a bad person to entrust with such an important decision.
6Of course not. Who would be involved with my partner? Them or I?
7no.
8My mom fixed me up with my first serious boyfriend, actually. I wouldn't completely trust her now, but she and I do have the same taste in men: sensitive, shy artist/musician types who are sweet and tend to underachieve.
9I trust my mom completely in that regard, she has awesome taste and knows what I want in a man.
10While I completely trust them and definitely listen to the advice they have to give, I'd never let them CHOOSE. That's for me to do. And they would never expect me to let them choose. They'd probably laugh at the idea. Thankfully my parents love the man I have choosen.
11This is the one aspect of my life my parents have NO CLUE about pertaining to me. I've dated someone in the past that I was set-up with through family ... and it was a disaster. All my parents are concerned with is if they can find a son-in-law they can brag to their friends and extended family about. It's totally a matter of status and money as far as arranged marriages in the Bengali community is concerned.
12I love my mom and I trust her judgement. I would even go so far as to say I would think twice about marrying someone my family didn't like. But ulitmately it's my choice because I'm the one who actually has to be with the guy. So I'll make me happy and they will just have to love me anyway
13Knowing my parents, I think it would be disastrous.
14My best (guy) friend in middle school came from a very strict family who'd just moved here from some other country, and by the time he was 13 on he knew who he'd eventually be forced to marry, and he HATED her. I wonder what ever hapened to them...
15No way.
16this is a tough one, parentS..meaning they would both have input? i just don't think i could do it. maybe if it was just my mom, but if my dad got to weigh in i can't even imagine what he would be like. this is a big MAYBE lol!
17Nope.
18(This concept seems be predicated on the assumption that your mother and father are *good parents* -- involved, considerate, mentally stable, and the like. It must also be based on an ideal of positive relations between parent and child -- and, unfortunately, that ideal isn't always representative of reality .
Not all parents are good at parenting, and some children are beyond the help of even the very best parenting skills. Some parent-child relationships are toxic.)
19I'm not sure...I know my mom would have good intentions and try finding a nice good guy for me to go with-but they all seem to be such nerds or mamas boys or whatever. She also doesn't seem to have a clue as to what I'm attracted to. My dad on the other hand is a little more perceptive and pictures me with guys that are more my "type" but never does he ever tell me who I should date.
20No. I want to pick who I end up with, go through al the stages of falling in love with them. Who know, if my parents picked someone for me, we might not even stand each other.
21Most of the guys I've dated my parents liked right off the bat and the ones they didn't like turned out to be no accounts. i think i'd trust my parents.
22Nope, that would not be cool. I feel bad for people in cultures where arranged marriage is normal. People need to be able to choose for themselves, even if it were the worst mistake in your life. It's your mistake to make. Not your parents.
23Nope, no-way, never. I have to live with the guy, not them; and my parents don't even work well together, so why would I go with their choice? I would end up divorcing the man. I mean, I love my parents... however they didn't choose right when it came to themselves, so what would make me allow them to choose for me? Nothing.
24I was so against the idea and my parents never questioned me about my boyfriends before...so I almost disagreed to give it a shot just because. But finally, I decided what was the harm? He turned out to be the guy of my dreams! I had given my mom a HUGE nit-picky list of things that I was looking for and he met all my requirements perfectly, it was almost uncanny.
And now my parents are happy and I am delighted and we are going to get married after I finish grad school!
So...I guess it's good to listen to your parents? They usually have your best interest in mind.
25Nope. 1) In many ways, I'm the same as my parents. Likewise, in many ways, I'm different from them. And, 2) I KNOW myself best.
26no no no!!!
27Hehe, I had a roommate in college from Zambia and when we were talking about boy problems, she was amazed that my parents hadn't arranged my marriage! I think she was all for it mostly because she wanted financial security, not for love, which happens a lot in the West too. And no thanks, too big of a decision to leave up to my parents.
28Oh no no no. He would have been rich, cocky, had affairs because I hated him, played golf ewwwwwwwwwwww, and probably tucked his popped collared pink Polo shirts into his khaki shorts. Ewww I can see the boating shoes now. I am an artist, free spirit, dancer, musician. I need a man who is edgey and that's what I have!!!!!!!!!
29Oh no no no. He would have been rich, cocky, had affairs because I hated him, played golf ewwwwwwwwwwww, and probably tucked his popped collared pink Polo shirts into his khaki shorts. Ewww I can see the boating shoes now. I am an artist, free spirit, dancer, musician. I need a man who is edgey and that's what I have!!!!!!!!!
30No way.
31In a word.....No. I love both of my parents very much and i'm sure they would have picked a really nice guy for me, but i like to do my own choosing.
32Disclaimer: My parents are divorced and each have remarried. I am much closer to my dad and step-mom unfortunatly than my mom and step-dad.
That said, I would let my dad and step-mom pick a mate for me simply because they know me much better and would pick someone who I would be best suited for and who is compatible with me as well. My mom and step-dad are those types who think they know their kids and then completely miss the ball with it comes time to buy something or do something for them.
33Hellz no!
34I don't think so. My parents are divorced, my dad is a loser, and my mom is extremely jaded. She will take one fight and accuse my fiance of abusing me, or anything like that. If I let her pick my man, she would choose a guy who didn't have a personality, a spine, or could hold a conversation. She would basically buy me a doormat in the the form of a person -- and I am not into that. I know she just doesn't want me hurt, and would literally kill anyone who did hurt me, but I am capable of ending up with a decent guy, and not a heartless mental, emotional and physical abuser, as well as cheater, and deadbeat that my dad is. I have found the man of my dreams, and mom does approve -- so I did well!
35I would need the final final say but I would definetly give them a high say-so. They're very balanced and have great judgement when it comes to people. We share similar senses of humor as well.
36I come from a white middle-class family, so arranged partnership is not a norm. However, I always said that I would love it if my parents picked out a guy they approved of to date. It would take so much of the stress out of dating. Naturally I would have full veto power, but heck, the searching is the worst part!
37My husband and I joke that we were arranged. Our parents have known each other since before we were born and had they decided to choose a spouse for us they would have put us together. Our moms did get the ball rolling that led to our first date and they were overjoyed when we got married but if we had not worked out they would have been ok with it. I think its great bc our parents our friends, there is no fighting over holidays and things like that, in fact we all spent Thanksgiving together- and I love my in-laws and my husband loves my parents too.
38My mother is a Christian who insists I marry within the race to a man who is a lawyer or doctor and is also a Christian. That's almost everything I don't want.
39you know what, the more i think about it, i think i SHOULD let them seeing as how i never find anyone decent.
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