My oppinion may mean very little, but I'm dating a shy guy right now...we've been going out for almost 4 months... To be honest, it just takes them a while...its a hard process for the guy, but they come around. At first I thought that this guys going way to slow, but if you don't rush into the physical stuff you get to know his personality better. But I know what you mean about not always wanting to make the first move, but when you get to know them better, they do step up and make the move. Although, guys are guys, and its sometimes good just to be brutally honest. By either making the first move, or almost telling them. This guy obviously wanted to kiss you, he even told you...so i wouldnt worry, he knows, and he got the clue. I dont think he'll screw up next time.

Ok, I just got serious with my guy, and he's quite shy (he also never had a girlfriend before, but he has hooked up [made out]). But here's the good thing about shy guys, they show a lot of respect for you and you know that they won't do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Now, it seems you guys are really connected and that you can read each other. This is good. REALLY GOOD. Shy guys are too much in their heads and analyze a lot, like us women. With my boyfriend, I've noticed that with anything physical, or even mental, I had to initiate. ( I had to like pave the way for him to make us official... I could tell that he was thinking, so I kept asking him and commenting on how concentrated he looked and how it made me laugh because we were just hanging out) Whatever you do, never think that you initiating will make you seem like a slut. It won't. 9 times out of 10 if you're thinking it, he is too. So the next time you are with him, kiss him on the cheek, slyly grab his hand, (or if you are a bit shy too, place it close enough so its touching, but not holding; hopefully he'll get the hint) etc.. He needs guidance, but the more you initiate now, the less you will have to do later, and trust me, it worth all 110% of the effort.

well its obviously a good thing he texted you and told you he wanted to kiss you! i hope you told him of course you did. i'd let it go for a few more dates and see if he starts to initiate more. now that he knows you want him to kiss you, he might not be as scared or hesitent to initiate that in the future. if he's still hesitating then i agree with blondiestar- make small gestures to show you are enjoying being with him such as grabbing his hand or rest your hand on his leg when you are talking to him and leave it there a few moments. or kiss him on the cheek. those might give him the confidence he needs to move forward. like 'o she's holding my hand so it'll be ok to kiss her'. and when you do kiss you can always say something after like 'i like kissing you!'. a shy guy takes some getting used to but i agree- they have their pluses!

My boyfriend is shy. This is exactly how we were at first. He waited a while to kiss me because he could sense I wasn't ready. I gave him hints when I was finally ready, and he still wasn't getting it, so I just looked him in the eyes at the end of the night and I told him to kiss me.

Like the second poster said, shy guys are good because they are respectful of you and what you want to do and when. Just make it clear to him that you are ready for something, and either you can just go for it, or you can wait for him. After the first kiss he will realize that it's ok and he will keep that up.

i think in time he will open up more, i've dated a guy before and it took him a while to be 100% comfortable with me... everything else the ladies before me have said =)

I'll be honest with you - I can't stand guys like this. It's bad enough when you're having a great time on a date and they ask "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" but sending a text? Ugh!

My experience is that guys like this have low self-confidence, don't trust their own judgement and are afraid to take even the smallest risks. I know after a first date if a guy is outgoing enough for me. If he can't make the first move, I know we're not a good match personality-wise.

I'd give this guy one more date. If he can't grow a pair, it may be time to move on.

luisa: being shy is not the equivalent of having low self-confidence.

If you want to make things work with this guy, you have to have a lot of patience... and I mean A LOT. I'm typically the really straightforward type and really go after things when it comes to guys but that really backfired on me once with a shy guy. It's a lot easier said than done but you really just have to wait for him to get comfortable with you and let him open up on his own.

I think it is.

While being shy may not automatically be an indicator of low self confidence, not kissing a girl at the end of a date then sending her a passive text message about it the next day definately is. I feel like moves like that are shy men's way of turning the tables on their dates and putting the woman in the role of the agressor. To the OP: If you are ok with being the one doing the chasing than stay with him. However, not all shy guys are valiant and noble suitors. You may just end up with a wet blanket on your hands.

I think he just needed to know for sure if it would have been okay to kiss you. He's aware of how it would have made you feel if you didn't want it which I think is a good thing. Since he did text you and tell you he wanted to kiss you he may be able to take the next step on your second date. He seems like a really sweet guy and it may just take him longer to get used to being around you and being totally comfortable.

This is SUCH great timing!! I've gone on two dates with a guy who I'm pretty sure likes me. But he's quite physically awkward. And I'm really outgoing & physical. We went out once & it resulted in an awkward hug & a kiss on the cheek. Last night's date resulted in a non-awkward hug & a kiss on the lips. Albeit a chaste one. So I guess just have to deal with the taking it slow... But I was really uncertain for a while whether he was interested at all. That's why I hate being the only one making the moves towards physical intimacy. But I'll suffer cause I think he's worth it.

i can relate to falling for a shy guy, and finding it hard to get a date out of him. Age doesnt make it any easier as he is 39 and i am 42. He is a customer at the hotel i work at, all the signs are there thats he is keen even slipping me his number.. although after two months of texting me sweet little msgs such as goodnite have a nice day i finally got a call from him on his birthday asking me what i was doing that day.. this threw me and i was the one who got scared and made some excuse.The following day i came across him on my break down the street from work and bravely gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek for his birthday. we now ocassionally talk on the phone and say hello at work.. i took the initiative to call him and ask him for a drink on saturday night, but as i expected he came up with an excuse. I think hes real hot and worth the chase but it is quite frustrating and paitience is a must. If i can only get him to meet me outside of work i can get to know him on a more personal level. Do not know if it is up to me to do the asking as i am old school and have had the guys making the moves. S o can someone please help me with this? getting very frustrated.