Just ask him.

"I have to say that I'd be just as upset as you are if I was in our shoes. It would be one thing if your boyfriend was going on a guys' trip with old buddies from college, but the fact that their significant others are going, too, and you're not invited, makes me think there are much deeper problems here."

I was going to say the exact same thing Dear!
To the OP: Ask him and if he doesn't have a legit reason (and not I wanted to spend some time w/ my guys alone b/c they aren't going to be alone!) Then you need to have a talk!

I don't think you're overreacting. I'd be seriously pissed. Like Dear said, it would have been different if it was an all-guys trip, but clearly girlfriends are allowed and he made the decision to exclude you. Is he one of those guys who thinks cheating while on vacation doesn't count? Is one of his college buddies' girlfriends bringing a single female friend along? Hmm....

You mention that he never flew to see you when you lived in different parts of the country - sounds like there might be some deeper problems in your relationship that you've been ignoring? Frankly, it doesn't sound like you have a very close relationship. Like the above poster said, the only person who knows the answer why you're not invited is your boyfriend. Ask him! Holy jeez, if that was my boyfriend, I'd be on his case in a millisecond - what is it about your relationship that makes you so afraid to confront him when he hurts your feelings?

I would be very upset by this. I would have a serious sit down and if he doesn't have any answers for you (good ones) I would probably be done.

But maybe he has good reason.

You have been dating for about a year and a half, and the whole time its been you making the trip to see him (first clue, he didnt want to make the effort) you both talk about taking trips but neither follow through (second clue)Now he is planning a trip with some old buddies and doesnt mention it to you? (third and final clue that......he is just not that into you) believe me, if he loved you and wanted to be with you (for something besides sex) you would be going.

Honestly, you sound like someone he can walk all over and you take it! He can plan a trip with friends and other women and he knows you won't say a damn thing and he can get away with it, so why not?

I get the feeling that even after you confront him...if you do. He'll say whatever excuse he feels like pulling out of his ass and you'll still be there waiting for him to come back from his trip. Self respect starts with YOU not him.

This "relationship" screams trouble, I'm sure even more than your letting on to!

Hey, there is about a .1% chance that maybe he got you a surprise ticket...

i totally stopped at the part where u said u flew out to see him and he didnt do the same and now he's giong on a trip with his friends and their gfs without u? he's clearly not interested enough. and frankly who knows if you are the only one. i say talk to him but really i think he may be need to be dumped.

im with everyone else. i mean shoot I felt bad just reading this. Its very rude of him not to invite you ESPECIALLY after the two of you spoke about vacationing together AND there are OTHER women going. Not to say you shouldnt trust your boyfriends but there is something about that alone that is very weird. Like Dear said, let him know how he's made you feel. maybe he's just been too caught up in the excitement to realize he's leaving you hurt and left out.

Ouch ouch ouch. Honey why oh why are you on this site asking for advice? Your own boyfriend doesnt make any effort to make your relationship work AND goes off on a trip without you and expects you to get over it. Your friends tell you you are over-reacting? Is there more we are missing? Because you can damn well be sure if my boyfriend behaved this way my friends would all say I should re-evaluate if this boyfriend is really truly my boyfriend.

Dump his ass. He doesn't make an effort to come and see you and isn't taking you with him to Prague, time to move on. Plain and simple.

Im just getting mad all over again at this!! I hate that I seem to always advise a person to "dump" him but honestly - all these posters are at the last resort- they know what to do but need the advice and the support to do it. I bet if you dump this guy...give it a few weeks. He STILL wont come back. And that should be a loud and clear message how much he loves you.

DROP HIM...

I would be furious and hurt, and I don't think there would be any explanation that would make it better, for me. I don't get your friends telling you that you're overreacting; do you have bad friends as well as a bad boyfriend? I don't really have any good advice here, I can only say that it doesn't sound good, and that I wouldn't want that type of behavior in my life. Especially since he didn't tell you; that's like lying! Good luck with what ever you choose to do.

I'd be so furious, I can't even tell you. I wouldn't jump right to dumping him, but I would ask where in the hell he got the audacity to do that, and why he wouldn't think to not invite you if the others invited their SO's...let alone TELL you in the first place. If he can't come up with a good reason, or he keeps up this selfish behavior, I would be over it completely.

Yeah, it really sounds like he's not into you - not enough to go out of his way to include you in his life at all. I'm sorry.

If he's not willing to make an effort in your relationship, then you need to break up with him. My boyfriend lives in Chicago and I visit him once a month. But guess what? He also visits me once a month. Unless your boyfriend's schedule just wouldn't allow it AND he was paying for some of your flights, that was a totally unacceptable arrangement. Now that you moved, it sounds like he doesn't really care. I would be so pissed if my boyfriend went on vacations with other couples and didn't invite me. I cannot think of a good explanation for this. But I agree with Dear--you need to flat out ask him why you weren't invited. You also need to have a serious discussion about your relationship--do you both want the same things? are you BOTH willing to put the work into it? If he's not willing to do his part to make the relationship work, then you have to leave. It's not fair to you.

drop him like its hot!

i had a high school boyfriend like this. i always drove out to see him. he planned things with out me.....

d d drop him like its hot!

He needs to go. If he's planning vacations without inviting you, he doesn't see the need for you in his life. Bad sign, very bad sign.

I agree with DearSugar. You should tell him how you feel left out and hurt by his going off on vacation with his buds and their SO's

He doesn't make an effort to come and see you, so exactly why are you still with him??? I can't even imagine what kind of lame excuses he could possibly come up with to weasel himself out of this disaster.My only advice(and exactly the way i would handle it) is to tell him to lose your number ASAP, have a nice life, and proceed to show his sorry butt the exit......

I think there are some details missing. There clearly is a reason behind why he went ahead and planned this trip without you. Until you put on your big girl panties and ask you will never know to me there is a much larger issue here and that is I do not think he holds your relationship in the same regard as yourself. This relationship if you can even call it that is so one-sided but than again I am not sure if he is paying for any of your flights to visit. Something just does not add up at all!

He's giving you a loud-and-clear message. Too bad he's a gutless pansy who can't just state it outright, that you don't mean as much to him as he does to you. But there you go. Heed his message and get out of the heck out of the relationship. You deserve much better treatment.

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Plan your own trip with a bunch of girls and guys and don't invite him.

I'd be pissed if my bf did what your bf did. Ask him what's up, and you can accept his excuse, but do realize that the relationship isn't going down the right path here.

Wait a minute.. you have friends who say you are overreacting? Maybe they need to be replaced too.
You are TOTALLY not over reacting!
I agree with the other posters, if it were an all boys vacation, fine, if it were a co-ed group of just college friends, fine, if it was a group of co-workers, fine, but the fact is, it is a group of friends (who I assume you know) and their significant others.. making it a "couples vacation".
I'd seriously want to know why he didn't invite you. And I'd be furious too. Not even that you weren't invited, but that it seems like he was hiding the planning of the event from you too.
Shady.

If my boyfriend wanted to go on a trip with some old friends, fine. If he planned the whole thing without mentioning it to me, I'd think it was pretty weird.

I agree with the others that it doesn't sound like he's as interested in the relationship are you are. Sorry

Dump him.

If it were my boyfriend, he had better pack everything he ever hoped to keep when he went... Because when he got back from Prauge, he so would not have a home.

The fact that his friend's significant others are going and yet you weren't invited makes me feel like there's something else going on beneath the surface. Maybe he plans on meeting a bunch of girls while on vacation, or maybe he doesn't want to be around you 24/7 on the trip.

I'd definitely ask him why you weren't invited when his friends are bringing their s.o.'s.

It's ok if he goes on a trip w/o you with his old college buddies ... to maybe Vegas or something! NOT PRAGUE!!

Ask him:
1) And is he still going on that big trip with you? He BETTER!
2) Why didn't he ask you to come if other sig. others were invited?
3) why didn't he even tell you about the trip in the first place?

I see this as serious grounds to break up if he doesn't have the right answers.

Donkey KONG!!!!!

i'm going to say this with all the love in my heart . . .wait . . .it's TUESDAY. YAY!!! i can be a b*tch (yesss!)

okay, first off when a girl makes trips to see the guy in a long distance relationship and he doesn't, that means that you're the jump-off girl. ie you're that chick that is soo sprung off his sclong that you are crazy enough to pay at least $100 for a plane ticket to come and see him. and it's all FREE sex! (score 1 for the team).

then YOU were the one who MOVED to where HE lives. (i'm going to assume you were a smart enough girl to secure your career before you made such a move), but nevertheless.

you're probably the one who makes a big deal about Valentine's and he is like whatever about it. You're the one who wants to live together, but he's like whatever about it.

you want to go on a mini-getaway with him and he's like whatever about it.

now, he's going to Prague (been there, it's really a great experience) with all of his friends, both male and female. and of course they are bringing their boo. but you're not even invited.

do you know why????

a) he doesn't want to share a life experience like that with you

b) he doesn't consider you a go anywhere except McDonalds type of girlfriend

c) he's got another gf that he is taking instead

d) you're JUST a jump-off who thinks you're his girlfriend

i agree with Hotstuff; self respect starts with you.

i'm sorry, but who wants to be with a man who plans a trip halfway around the world and doesn't even tell you, let along invite you??!?!?

what? was he going to call you and say, "hey babe. i won't see you for a few weeks, i'm in Prague. could you walk my dog while i'm gone?"

Don't be a donkey!

I had to come back. I've been thinking about this all day. If you don't live with him, I wouldn't even waste time asking him his reasoning for this. seriously, let him go on his trip. If I were you when he came back, I would be MIA and have a new phone number.

Take the two weeks he's gone, go out and find a hot little fling or some great girls nights out.

Obviously, the 4 years of your life you have wasted on him were NOT worth it, I wouldn't waste not one more second on him. OR give him the satisfaction of even letting him THINK it's bothering you to be rid of him.

You're not blowing this out of proportions. If I were you, my head would have exploded. I don't usually say this kind of crap, and I'm sorry if it hurts to hear it but I feel like honesty is the best way to go here - I don't think this guy loves you, and I think you should get the hell out and despise his heartless ass for the rest of your life. You sound like a wonderful girl and you deserve a million times better.

THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE WITH THEIR HANDS FULL OF ROMANCE AND WILD DESIRES TO GO ON A BEAUTIFUL TRIP WITH YOU. DUMP THAT JERK. AND DON'T SUFFER TOO LONG. PLEASE. WE ARE WITH YOU.

Karlotta, are you okay?

do you need a Midol???

xoxoxo

you know things are bad when Karlotta thinks the guy is being a jerk.

Dump him.

this situation might be okay if it was just his guy friends, but since their girlfriends/wives or whatver are invited and youre not.. he clearly doesnt want you there for some reason. its not like its just the guys and theyre going to get angry if you went too. this is definitly a bad sign.

He NEVER visited you when you lived apart?! Unless there's some great reason I don't know about, that behavior in and of itself is pretty bad. I don't think you're over-reacting at all; it really just seems like this is the straw that broke (maybe will break?) the camel's back. He seems to have treated you insensitively for quite a while.

Just the fact that he didn't visit you had to be a big red flag. I'd be pissed at that alone. This vacation would be fine if it were just the guys but if their girls are coming than there is something wrong with this. Have you met any of these friends? Maybe they don't like you. I'd ask him about it and not let him off until he gives you a really good reason.

i agree with all of the above! i've gone on vacations with out boyfriends before and its usually been one of these reasons
a) it was a girls only trip
b) it was planned before me and the bf were seriously dating, therefore it wasn't something i would have asked him to
and c) well there is no c lol those are the only two reasons that were really valid! otherwise i would have either brought him or realized that he wasn't important enough to bring and broken up with him!

i'm going to mexico with my 4 best girl friends in a month- we are leaving all husbands and bfs home- are they all over joyed about it? no. but they understand its a girls only trip and they accept it!

I had a boyfriend who did this twice. The second time I broke up with him.

get out of that relationship now!!!!

omgawd a similar thing happened to me!!!!!!!!!
I WAS sooooooooooooo furious.
except, it wasn't a trip to PRAGUE.
PRAGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when I confronted my boyfriend, he seriously HAD NO IDEA that I wanted to come along.

he's either:

a) a horrible boyfriend that doesn't care about you or the relationship as much as you do. (and you know you don't need to be with someone like that)

b) clueless that you deserve to be invited to the trip, and how much this not-inviting-you effects you.

if you talk to him and he doesn't immediately apologize and recognize that he messed up, then he really doesn't deserve you.
Otherwise, don't break up with him right away, he really might not have had bad intentions!

You are UNDER reacting.

I mean, it's POSSIBLE there's a good explanation for all of this, and one that is reasonable and doesn't make him a total jerk.

But it doesn't seem very likely, now does it???

But let me tell you, JUST IN CASE, I had a friend who's boyfriend was going away on a special weekend, and she was FURIOUS and read him the riot act, and it turned out that he was going to surprise her and propose, but she was such a b*tch to him that he changed his mind, and they broke up instead.

SOOOooooo, while I would also be absolutely FURIOUS, I would advise that you find a way to talk to him about this that still makes you look like a classy, well-bred lady, while letting him know that you are upset - just make sure you don't do or say anything you could be embarrassed about later, and no matter what happens - whether he's surprising you OR he's an inconsiderate JERK who's clearly not that into you, you can be proud of the way you handled yourself.

Someone above said it, and they are right - if he's just a jerk, there are PLENTY of great guys out there who will cherish and love you and WANT to have you around them, and you should find one of them. We're with you, BABE!!

That would be IT for me...he's walking all over you and so are his friends by telling you...you're overreacting...

Oh...some of YOUR friends....well...is just one friend? a girl? is she going away for two weeks soon?? (kidding)...

damn with those friends....