Your friend has a tendency to ask you for money. It’s never for anything over $20, but 10 bucks for a drink here, and five bucks for extra cab fare there is starting to add up. You also know she has a spending problem — she’s constantly shopping and splurging on expensive trips and restaurants. She’s always lived beyond her means, but she’s really been taking it to an extreme lately.
You want to say no the next time she asks for money, but you’re afraid it will cause a rift in your friendship. She’s incredibly important to you, and she truly is a wonderful friend, but she’s very sensitive on money matters, so how do you handle this
Maison Martin Margiela
All Saints
H. Eich
I would flat out tell her "No," the next time she asked for 10 bucks. Honestly, though I would have been the shopaholic friend if it were 2years ago..
1Uh, no! Just because someone is a good friend doesn't mean they have a right to my cash. Besides, isn't being a mooch and a good friend mutually exclusive?
2I'm a bit of a shopaholic too, but I can afford my habit!! Haha.
Seriously, though, it sounds like she probably has a spending problem and could use some intervention and some help. Talk to her and figure out what's going on in her life. Ask her why she feels the need to spend all her money on things she doesn't need and expensive trips, when she can't even afford cab fare?? I'm sure she'll be defensive at first, but I think in the end, she'll appreciate you trying to help her.
I actually have a friend like this...a male friend though. I know for a fact that he buys himself a lot of stuff and spends money on stupid things (but he HAS money, we work together so I know how much he makes). But whenever we all go out, he somehow never has moeny to cover his share of the bill, and my husband and I end up covering for him. It's annoying. And I'm on the verge of talking to him about it...there's obviously a problem.
3I had a friend like this...she kept wanting to borrow money from me to help her pay her phone bill, rent, etc, and I helped her out a few times. But then when I would delicately bring up that she owed me money, she would say she can't pay me back yet. In the meantime, she traveled all over the US and went to Europe, went shopping, and partied every night.
The final straw came when I asked for my money since she seemed to be doing fine with all her traveling, shopping and partying, and she said really loud in front of our group of friends: No, I will not borrow you any money, its your fault if you don't have any. (She basically turned it on me!)
In the end, I finally got the money from her parents. I don't talk to that b*tch anymore, and I definitely do not help my friends financially anymore. Lesson learned!
But yeah, in regards to the OP, I would flat out tell my friend no, and remind her of her latest shopping splurge and how she could have used that money to buy her drink instead. If she gets mad, too bad. She's the one with financial problems!
4I would tell her nicely no, and how I'm on a tight budget right now.
5Omg i was JUST talking to my friend about her out of control shopping. She can be a bit intense with her addiction. But I must say her"disease" lol has helped my wardrobe significantly because she knows all the hot spots for deals around town....
6Um, has she looked at a business section of the newspaper lately??
7Spending all that money, especially your money, is downright unwise and rude. Try doing things that don't revolve around money, like going to a charitable event, going on a bike ride, or even seeing a museum or something.
I'd just tell her that you can't afford to give her money at all. If she takes that well you can tell her you're worried about her spending habits and want to help her if you can. Tell her it's her decision and you'll be her friend no matter what but you cannot give her any more money cause you need it for yourself.
8Just say, "Sorry, can't help ya." What's she going to do, get on your case for not having the extra cash to spare? If she balks, tell her, "I lent all my money to you, what do you want me to do? Rob a bank?"
9I have a friend like this, and if it's a small amount and I can spare it, I'll give it her. If it's too much or I can't spare the money at that time then I just tell her I don't have any money to spare. And I've never had her give issue to me saying no. So yeah, just explain to her that you can't spare the money for her.
10Just tell her you can't afford it.
And if she insists that she needs help 'just this once' and you feel like you have to cave, make sure she knows it's a LOAN, and next time you're out ask for the $ she owes.
It would also give you ammo if you're still sensitive about refusing her... as in saying something like: "I really can't afford to pay your portion and you still haven't paid me back for last time".
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