I think if he loved you, he'd look forward to seeing you. Especially in times of crisis. Ask him what's going on - this isn't about his family. It's about his feelings for you.

He's either truly had a random series of unfortunate events, or he's cheating. I'm a cynical bastard so I'd opt towards the latter option, because if he really loved you and wanted you around, you'd have gone to visit him already. Sorry.

Or why not give him some trust and space! Sounds to me like you are being exceptionally clingy and unsupportive. Men handle issues differently and if you love him you should be there for him without needing to be next to him. It would be supportive of you to show him that you'll be there waiting for him after this is all done instead of adding to his pressures with having to deal with a needy girlfriend.

The best thing you can do for him right now it just let him know that you are there for him and not pressure him with spending time just with you. Wouldn't you expect the same from him if your family was going through a tough time? While he is close to his family the stress of older parents bad health and a sister having issues is enough to deal with. Having to deal with a clingy girlfriend is going to put him over the top.

I think you should be honest with him, but try to use humor and start out by acknowledging his difficult situation.
There's nothing wrong with telling him that you understand how much stress he must be under with his family, or that you miss him, or that you get anxious if you haven't been able to hang out with him for a while.
Just so long as you're not screaming or demanding he see you instead of them.
Then, if he really doesn't make any effort for you two to spend time together... get rid of him.

I say - in every relationship ask yourself "Has he done things just because they make me happy?" whatever those "things" might be for you...

Yes = keeper
No = user

I'm going through this w/my boyfriend now. The only you can do is support him and keep in mind that it will get better. I did all the things you are considering. I sent him mean emails, countless phone calls...it was too much. I'm sure he realizes that the situations are causing changes in your relationship. Just stick it out.

As long as you trust this man and he's telling the truth, you should be doing the dance of joy and getting down on your knees to thank the Lord that you found a man who is MAN and is taking care of his family! Why would you expect to be able to see him just as much if he's taking care of his family? I think your being a little unreasonable! If his parents are as sick as you say it's probably hard for him to think of having a good time with his gf while his family is sick. If you complain to him about this you'll only be showing him your true colors that you aren't a supportive gf. A nagging gf is the LAST thing he needs. It's fine to let your man know you love and miss him but PLEASE do not hound this man at this rough time in his life. This is what family is all about, your there for each other especially in times like this. Be thankful that he's showing you that if you two ever decide to marry in the future this is a man that will step up to the plate and handle things!

I totally agree with Berlin, cubadog, and hotstuff. Men sometimes deal with crisis differently than us, so it can seem like he's pushing you away, but you have to trust that he really needs the space and he needs to be with his family - it's nothing personal towards you. He needs to deal with things his own way, not YOUR way. He's under enough pressure as it is without having to worry about keeping you happy as well. Getting anxious and clingy will only put additional strain on him, and that's not supportive at all.

I suggest that you express your support and then offer to meet/go there to give your support face-to-face.
Tell him that you just want to be there physically to comfort him. If he's worried that he won't have much time to spend with you, you shouldn't complain, and just say that you want to be there to physically be a support for him.

I know that when I was having a hard time w/ my parents (when they're both sick)...I was a little bit 'distant' because I was running around, busy picking up meds, driving to the doctors, to the hospitals, and so on. But I kept in contact with my hubby (I updated him on everything), and boy, it felt GREAT to have him waiting for me at home (and being very understanding although I couldn't spend much time with him and our son at that time). His mere presence made me feel good that I was able to have someone close by and to talk about the problems.

So your bf should feel glad if you offer to come and give him as much support as you can. If he said 'no' to your offer, then back off and still offer support but I do think you may want to investigate if him rejecting your support is a sign of him changing his mind of the relationship or he's just depressed.

Good luck.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

it could be worse...he could say f*** my family i don't care. You should be lucky that he is a real, true family man! In the end family is really all you have. Don't put pressure on him to CHOOSE between you and his family. Be supportive and loving and offer to help. Someday this might be your family as well. If you don't support him and start nagging him he will only grow to resent you.

"Should I tell my boyfriend how I'm feeling" I see nothing but a fight coming out of that. Don't do it. Maybe you can make positive suggestions that will help, like can you go with him to just be there and support him and his family? Can you be the one that runs to the grocery store while everyone else is stressed out? Just be there to help and support, and maybe you will feel differently, thus no need to mention how you feel now.

Why don't you go to him?
Make sure he knows that you just want to spend time together, even if that means the most alone time you get is driving to pick up dinner... and show him that you're willing to support him through the tough times.

I would be very supportive, and let him know you're available to visit if he needs some help dealing with things. Other than that..I wouldn't push it or say anything else. He has enough on his plate right now so, don't give him something else to worry about. Treat him like you would want to be treated if you were in his shoes. I know when family stuff happens...some of us deal with it better without our partner...and some of us want our partner there for support (also, take into consideration how his family members might feel with someone there who isn't family....I know if I was sick..I really wouldn't want a non-family member around unless I was close to them). Offer to come for support and help (like making meals, driving parents to the doctor, etc.). Let him make the decision if he wants you there, and don't pressure him when you ask (make sure you say you're fine either way)...also, this should be done out of complete selflessness on your part. I hope things get better with his family. Take care.

I'd just try my hardest to get a visit in with him and be there for him. Tell him you know the stuff is going on but you want to see him and let him talk things over with you. He needs to get away from all the family drama for a while anyway.