Girl...I feel the SAME way sometimes.
And on top of all my priorities I am starting school (part-time) next month and I am super worried I will jsut have no time!
I think what I need to do, is re-evaulate everything on my to-do list and make SURE that I need to do absoutly everything.
Have you tried to think about moving closer? You need to change something or going to to crack. So look over your schedule and figure out something that you can change to make yourself less busy...

Girl...I feel the SAME way sometimes.
And on top of all my priorities I am starting school (part-time) next month and I am super worried I will jsut have no time!
I think what I need to do, is re-evaulate everything on my to-do list and make SURE that I need to do absoutly everything.
Have you tried to think about moving closer? You need to change something or going to to crack. So look over your schedule and figure out something that you can change to make yourself less busy...

I think instead of spreading yourself so thin that you need to sit down and really figure out how much and what you to survive you are going to make yourself sick working that much. I am not in your relationshp but I think if it will get rid of some of your stress than definitely ask your boyfriend to leave. Does he not contribute anything? Spending 90 minutes a day which I am sure depends on what traffic is like in a car is an insane commute you need to move closer to work and maybe find a roommate that is not your boyfriend. I am not sure what you do for a living but what you are doing now is not healthy. You need to find balance before you collapse from exhaustion and stress.

BTW you will never be everything to everyone you need to live for you and not worry about others.

I second what cubadog said. You can't be everything to everyone. You need to live for you. You have to take care of yourself before you can worry about doing things for others.

What types of outrageous bills do you have that require you to work three jobs just to pay them!? If you pay for the yoga class, that's one expense you can cut out right away. You can buy a yoga video and exercise at home for a lot less.

If you need 3 jobs to pay the bills with a live-in boyfriend, I think it might be helpful to re-evaluate your lifestyle. Do you have a lot of debt that you can consolidate? Or is the area you live in expensive? If so, you might need to consider moving. If he isn't financially contributing, that's a whole other story, and in that case, hell yes TELL him to leave. The point is something drastic needs to change before you self-destruct completely. If you can't or don't want to change your lifestyle, then I really think you need to break it off with your boyfriend anyway. It's not fair to him (if he's mooching off you already I don't give a crap about what's fair to him, though), and is only adding to your stress.

You sound like I did about a year ago, minus the boyfriend situation. I was also teaching college courses on top of working 50+ hours at my regular job.

Take it from someone who has been there: You have to stop the insanity, and you have to do it now. Seriously. I'm living proof that continuing to push yourself even when it no longer makes sense is terrible for your physical and mental health. My crappy job situation led to enormous amounts of anxiety, depression and migraines. I never felt like I could keep my head above water. I reached what I thought was my breaking point not once, but several times last year.

I quit my job in November and found something else. But guess what happened as soon as I quit? My body broke down. So much stress had built up that once it was gone, I literally could not get out of bed. I was so tired and weak and couldn't figure out why. Eventually, I was diagnosed with mono. Not a great way to start a new job, by the way. My migraines have mostly subsided, but I'm still living with the effects of mono and anxiety. It is going to take a LONG time for my body to heal from the hell I put it through.

I wish like hell that I'd left my job and made some life changes much sooner. Back then, I KNEW my life was insane, but I managed to convince myself to tough it out and be "stronger." That was the worst thing I could've done. It would've been better for me to quit on the spot and spend a few months working at Starbucks than spending another day in a toxic work environment.

Take a few days off work to put together an escape plan -- and follow through with it! Really think about what you want your life to look like and whether your current lifestyle is getting you to that point. I'm guessing that it's not. The only good thing about hitting rock bottom (and you sound awfully close, if not there already) is that there's nowhere to go but up. Take this opportunity to start fresh, take care of yourself, and plan your future.

you got 3 jobs but take Yoga?? LMAO

you probably spend more money getting to and from work than actually making money.

d*mn are you trying to pay off a Bentley?!?LOL

i thought 3 jobs meant that you're struggling and trying to keep a roof over your head.

but you got yoga, and this movie you're trying to write a screenplay for.

what the hell???

you have a few health issues, but you run yourself ragged.

you're a walking contridiction.

how the hell you got a man, but you still working all these d*mn jobs??

you need to grow up. an dwhen i say grow up, i mean you need to reevaluate your life. you need to take care of yourself, but you running around like those Starbucks Hipsters here in L.A who are soo annoying.

i don't think you're THAT annoying. but my point is, get it together.

you're not Superwoman. you're not even her cute step-niece who idolizes her.

Something has got to give. Ask yourself this: how much easier would life be with the boyfriend gone? Would it shorten your commute time? No. Alleviate your food allergy? No. Shorten your work week to a normal 40 hours? No. Breaking up would not solve anything. In fact, things may get worse as you wouldn't have anyone to share living expenses.

Your overextension of yourself is wearing you down so badly that you don't even have time for yourself, let alone anyone else. This is not good. People won't look at you and think "Wow, she's so accomplished." They'll look at you and say "Yikes, she's losing her mind."

Why do you need to work 70 hour weeks? Why do you have 3 jobs? What exactly are you paying for? Whatever the situation, you're living outside your means.

Sit down and make a list of everything you have that requires a monthly payment, then start scaling back. Studies have shown that people who have smaller homes but live closer to work are actually happier. Think about it - you spend 1 1/2 hours in the car every day. What a waste of time! Do you really need a 3 bedroom place, a late model car, new clothes every month . . .what are you spending your money on? There's wiggle room somewhere. You just have to find it.

Unless your boyfriend lives with you for free, there's no reason to break up.

if you're working 3 jobs to pay bills and make ends meet, why are you taking a yoga class, that i'm assuming costs money? i work full-time, tutor part-time to make ends meet and pay off debt, but at least i'm not paying extra for something that could definitely be done at home for free.

You could just do like me: quit at least one of the jobs, and live poorer; but happy with your guy. I used to work long hours in finance and I had a boatload of money which I never had the time to do anything with; then I moved to France, went back to my real career (photography), which allows me to spend a lot of time with the guy I love, sleep until noon whenever I feel like it. Okay, so I eat pasta instead of fancy food at expensive restaurants. And I can't shop for cool trendy clothes anymore. And I haven't been able to take a trip in six months. But I've never been happier!! Your standards of living adapt to your financial situation after a while - except maybe, just maybe, if you've got 3 jobs and still have trouble making ends meet, it's because you're spending too much on silly things, and with a little self-control, you wouldn't need as much money - AND you'd be able to relax (and not throw out the poor BF who didn't ask to be on the end of your priority list...)

You definitely have too much on your plate. I think we can all agree on that. I think though, that before you ask your boyfriend to move out, it might be a good idea to try to see if you can simplify or streamline your life a little bit, for the sake of your sanity, your health, and your relationship.

First off...three jobs, 70 hours a week, 45 minute commute each way? Insanity. Try to see if you can cut expenses to eliminate one of the jobs, or if that's not feasible, try to see if you can find one or two jobs that will pay the bills; hopefully the job(s) will be closer. If these options aren't viable, talk to one or all of your employers about reducing your hours, compressing your work week, carpooling or telecommuting. Maybe you could even move closer to your jobs to reduce your commute...if the rent was lower in your new place, that would your finances too!

Obviously you can't do anything about your dietary issues. As far as the yoga...that's a lot of yoga (4.5 hours a week), and it is yet another time intensive commitment (although a pleasant and healthy one) that might be causing conflicts for you. Perhaps you could do a 30 minute dvd in lieu of one of the 90 minute classes and spend an extra hour sleeping or spend some quality time with your boyfriend.

Like the yoga, your film project is voluntary, and it is unpaid. Maybe you could move the production back to July, August, or even September. This would give you more time to help get everything in order. After all, this is your film, so it's one of the things that is under your control. With your job, your relationship, and your finances in order, I'm sure you'd be in a better palce to more fully devote yourself to this creative endeavor.

If your finances are really not doing well, I think it might be a good idea to talk to a financial advisor or debt counselor. Unhealthy finances are a huge stressor, and getting this under control will really improve your quality of life. If you haven't already, make a solid financial recovery plan, and stick with it!! Also, I know you said you're doing your best to cut expenses, but as someone else mentioned, cutting a yoga class and reducing your commute could help to reduce your costs even more!

If you really care about your boyfriend (and you must if you were engaged), I think you need to make some time for him in your life. You will never be able to address the problems in your relationship if you don't spend some quality time with him. At this point, it sounds like he comes in dead last to your three jobs, your yoga class, your film, and your other obligations. I might be reading too much into it, but it seems like you almost seem to think of him as a burden. In a healthy relationship, your significant other should be seen as a person with whom you want to spend time, someone who shares your burdens and lightens your load, someone who you can be yourself to and not feel obligated to show only your best side to, and someone who you want to lavish attention on. He might even be able to help you. If he has more free time, maybe he could do some of the chores, help you prepare your meals, or he could even help you tackly your debt. After all, if he's someone you might spend your life with, you need to learn how to tackle major problems together. It's really a matter of what you want...if you want to stay with him, try to spend time with him, be honest with him, and work on your relationship. I think asking him to move out might be likely to end it.

It's really all about priorities and choices. You need to let go of the idea that you can be everything to everyone. If you try, you will fail, and the only person who will really lose out is you. You need to figure out what YOU want, and you need to go for it and make it happen. Try to think outside the box for solutions; I bet you have way more options than you realize.

Personally I don't think you should cut out yoga like some say. It's probably one of the few times you can just stop and breathe. But maybe only go once a week and do a video at home? Yoga videos have gotten a lot better, check out Rodney Yi, I like his videos. Also, maybe have a chat with your boyfriend. Maybe he needs to be the one to step up and help more around the house. I don't really understand why you're so willing to break up with him. You were recently talking about marriage, wouldn't you want to work things out? Maybe he needs to get a second job and you guys can talk about moving closer to work.
Try keeping a diary of everything you spend every dime on and see where you can cut back. Starbucks, clothing, maybe cut down your cell bill. There's always places to scrimp. Maybe talk to one of your bosses about a raise. Maybe even just a cost of living raise. If you're working 70 hrs a week and struggling to get by something is askew. try lowering your living expenses. Roomates, have your bf chip in more?

yoga with a sh*t load of unecessary stress.

that's like me going to get a facial and then going to work at a chemical plant.

Don't let yourself get so busy that life will pass you by. You don't want to live life and find that you never had time for the people you love.But that may not include your BF. You have the power to change your situation. DO IT!!! You don't want to spend your life in regrets, live for the now. Life is not about being perfect, its about living.

You do all that, yet you have time to write that post?

I don't quite understand why you need 3 jobs...your boyfriend is living with you, if you're having problems paying the bills, why don't you ask him for some help? He better be contributing and not just mooching off your busy, stressed-out a*s.

I agree with the above posters about quitting one job and living with a little less. You need to make time for yourself (and yoga doesn't cut it).

I agree with secrethoughts. Only you can decide what is important to you and what is necessary for you to get by. Maybe you should change jobs, move closer to your work, stop yoga etc. but only you can decide whats important. I too have a hard time seeing how you need to work 3 jobs/70hrs per week to live, however I dont know what type of jobs you have or what type or life you lead (scrimping by or owning all the latest gadgets). Maybe you should start looking for just 1 full-time well paying job. Anyway good luck to you and start trying to change your life now before you do get sick and/or lose everything (bf, movie script etc.)

I don't know where i'm getting this from, it may not even be right but, i get the impression that you took on all these things as a way to compensate for something you don't have or something you're not actively willing to deal with. I totally get the impression that you aren't dealing with things the way you should. If you're going to do something, they have to serve a purpose. Always.
Ehmmm, you didn't state what those big problems with your boyfriend were.

what kind of bills do you have that you need to work 3 jobs? damn
is you boyfriend paying any bills? because you are sharing apartment and stuff so if he is not he shouldn't stay with you

well what you need to do is to sit down and figure out some answers. Maybe take one day off from your jobs and yoga and just sit at home figure out what is that you need because unless you live in 5000 dollar apartment i dont really see why you should have 3 jobs. Maybe you should seek professional help to manage your time or help you quit one of those jobs. Do you pay for your yoga? because they got tapes in best buy for 20 dollars (i own few) I must say they are quite good, so you don;'t have to stop doing your yoga you just dont have to pay for it that much.

70 hours week yoga 3 times a week? maybe you are just trying to get busy to kill some issues or problems that you want to avoid.

good luck

It is not necessary to work three jobs to pay the bills unless you're living FAR beyond your means, or your jobs pay a very low wage per hour. In either case, there is a solution. If you can't keep up with your expenses, then you have two options: cut your expenses, or increase your income.

If you're making lots of money and can barely keep up with your bills, then you need to immediately stop ALL non-essential spending and reduce your fixed expenses. Move to a cheaper apartment, sell your car, or ditch some other major expense so that you can quit one of your jobs.

If your expenses aren't very high but you can't keep up with them, then you need to increase your income. This is not as hard as it sounds. First off, is your boyfriend contributing to your household expenses? If not, he needs to start contributing or move out. Period. If he has no income to contribute, then he needs to immediately start seriously looking for work and once he's found it, he must contribute to the expenses. That would give your budget some breathing room. Next up: ask for a raise and/or promotion at all three of your jobs. Do a bit of research on what is a fair wage for the type of work, what promotions might be available, how you can take on a project that could save your employer some money, and prepare/practice your request. It's possible one of them may give you an increase in pay or a promotion that should come along with a raise. If so, maybe that would allow you to quit one of your other jobs. If that doesn't work, consider job searching for ONE job in your field that will pay you a much higher wage so that you'll only need to work 40-50 hours per week to bring in the same amount of cash. You have three jobs' worth of experience on your resume (at least); you should be able to qualify for something one level higher than what you're currently doing. The experience is worth something. Don't sell yourself short working in dead end jobs that underpay you. You're worth more than that.

*Deep breath.* There have been a lot of responses to the OP about money. To me the red flag is the sentence "Where do I find time to be everything to everyone?" This is the real problem. Everyone says quit the yoga. Some people need yoga like other people need Jesus. Don't quit the yoga if it's keeping you from falling apart. The number one thing you must do is try to investigate why you feel you must please everyone. You may need to talk to a parent, friend, or that great guy of yours and ask for help on how to say "no" to people. Many women hate to say no. They think "I can't quit this bad job because they NEED me." Honey, they don't need you. They will hire someone else.

In private, make a list of all of your current obligations. Draw a vertical line. Next to each obligation put a number from -10 to 10 about how much joy this activity brings you. Maybe one job you enjoy going to, but another job you dread and it saps energy from you. Look especially for negative numbers--things that make you feel exhausted and unhappy. Quit those activities, and don't worry about what those people will think of you, after all, you're not going to see them anymore! Trust me, they probably don't think as highly of you as you might hope already. "Oh there's OP, always running herself ragged!"

If you don't love your bf but feel like you should, do the man a favor and let him go. If you want to save your relationship but don't know how to make things better or how to say no, give your man the list with a post-it note that says "I need help." If he loves you, he will help you re-organize and get rid of the things in your life that are breaking you. Remember, everything you say "no" to let's you say "yes" to other things, happiness and sanity included!

I agree with everyone that says keep the yoga. I think it is the one thing that is keeping you somewhat sane.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that she give up yoga. She is complaining about a lack of time and money, yet paying for (we assume) and traveling to a yoga class, when she could save some time and money by doing yoga at home for free.

Not everyone works for money...she's probably doing it for other reasons. I think if money were a problem she'd have said so. Sounds more to me like she's looking for a way out of the relationship, or just having a bad day and blowing off some steam online.

Maybe you don't need the three jobs like people have said. But I don't know if your planning on paying this unpaid film. As a film student myself, I know how expensive it can be to fund it. Are you working in a city to earn more money? Evauluate if you should move closer to work or find work closer to home. I know working, trying to go to school, paying rent in a city & having a relationship is seems nearly impossible. I am in a similar situation myself, and I have serious crash & burn moments. In the end I waste more time recuperating my crashes, than I would if I gave myself mini breaks throughout my work week. Try cutting things out that are stressful. Do you enjoy your jobs or they just a way to help pay your way through bills & school loans? Maybe help yourself out by submitting in writing compeititions (some have money prizes) or finding jobs with flexibility to have down time. Spread things out a little more and make sure to get at least eight hours of sleep. I don't think this issue is about growing up, but learning how to figure out work/life balance. I know how hard this is sometimes.