Just posting so I can subscribe. In the exact same situation

I'm living with my boyfriend of four years. We lived half-together before and a year ago we wanted to get a place together and man is that different. It has definitely been tough even though we had been together for quite a while. So, just a heads up, in my opinion there is a vast difference between almost living together and actually living together. But my best advice would be to do what makes you happy. And why not try for couple of months and keeping both places, just to see how you do.

Well, Statistically speaking people who live together before marriage have a better likelihood of getting divorced (it's a statistical fact that my sociology professor talked about with us) BUT to be honest I've been living with my boyfriend since pretty much the second month we were dating. Although we don't really fight and are financially secure (the biggest pitfall in relationships usually has to do with finances). If you two feel like it's right then do it but COMMUNICATION is KEY. You need communication in a relationship anyways but even more so when living together otherwise it will blow up in your face. If you plan on both contributing to finances you need to make sure you communicate who pays what and when. When living together you also don't get much privacy so you need to take that into consideration as well..I don't mind it but some people think they can handle it and they cant. Also, sometimes living with another person can jump-start marriage talks and prepare you for you life together but other times people get scared and afraid to commit, that is why you BOTH need to be ready. Have you talked about this with your boyfriend? Does he want to live together too? Make sure you are on the same page before committing to a decision. Also be prepared to not just cook and clean for yourself but for your boyfriend as well and to him vice versa. Living together can be a great thing if you both are on the same page and want the same things.

Also, my boyfriend and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary today (YAY! hehe) and we've never really had any serious fights (only small arguments that have been resolved peacefully with communication ). I don't think anything has changed in a bad way after us moving in together, in fact It's probably only gotten better.

Good luck!!!

P.s. if you need any more advice with this private message me and I'll be more than happy to help

P.s. don't let my statistic scare you, i forgot to add that it's not always the case and living together before marriage can in fact be extremely beneficial to a relationship

Bad idea. You two are still in the infatuation stage with each other. Seven months is not a long time in the grand scheme of things.

You're not 'practically living with each other'. You're sleeping together every night, but you aren't even close to living with each other. His stuff is at his place and you have your stuff at yours. Imagine sharing EVERYTHING. TV, furniture, groceries, dish-washing responsibilities, shower time, temperature control, every minute of your day, etc. How modest are you? Becuase eventually you're going to have to smell the results of a shared bathroom - and he's going to find out your potty habits, as well.

It may work out for you, but right now the odds are stacked against you. If the relationship is serious you guys can handle waiting a little longer before invading each other's privacy so completely.

I think you should wait a little longer or at least be on the track to marriage. My husband and I dated for over a year before moving together and were nervous about "the statistic" that KathleenxCouture mentioned. Luckily we were both so busy we didn't see each other that much at first. Once we were engaged and that ring was on my finger our first priority was marriage preparation (one time DIY, one time with a weekend retreat facilitated by professionals) and anything else we could do to combat "the statistic".

Good luck to you. If you don't see yourself with this guy way down the road then I say go for it. If you do see yourself together the rest of your lives then I think you should be more pragmatic about your decision.

I have lived with three boyfriends before, and let me tell you from experience: Never move in with a boyfriend out of convenience. 'Oh... it just makes sense, etc'. It makes for a sticky situation if you ever want to leave. Move in with someone because you both WANT to and you see your future going somewhere with them.

I was with my boyfriend for about a little over a year. After living with my roommates and my parents, living with him was like nothing. The difference is that when I'm upset about something, I can actually tell him. And yeah, that can lead to fights, but I think it's better to work through this stuff before you're married.

As far as that statistic goes, it's pretty useless. Couples who live together before they're married are more liberal in relationships to begin with and therefore would be less opposed to the idea of divorce than say religious couples. And if you count for the time living together as time being married, the statistic evens out for the length of the relationship.

I think you should wait, too. There's no point in rushing into these things. I lived with an ex, we had talked about marriage, but there were no definite plans because we thought we were too young. Our moving in together had nothing to do with our break-up (it was doomed before I moved my stuff in), but what I learned from that is that I will never move in with another guy until we are married or at least engaged with a date set. To me you either commit 100% or you don't live together. If you aren't ready to commit 100%, then just wait. It's not like you have to break up if you don't live together. You still get to share your life with this amazing person, you just have your own apartment. Obviously it's a personal decision & I have friends with great marriages who lived together first--I don't think it's necessarily doomed if you do move into together, but I just don't see any point in rushing into these kind of things. Build your relationship first. I also think that 7 months is way way too early.

My bf and I started spending nights together at my house after about 5months and it just kind of drifted into he was living here at about 8/9 months. We are still together almost 2 years later and are getting engaged etc. I have found that living together has been beneficial for us as we have learnt to live together, compromise and we now know each other in a way we couldnt unless we were living together. However if you have any doubts talk to your boyfriend about it and maybe postpone it a bit longer until you agree on all things to do with living together (furniture, finances, chores etc.)

I dated my husband for a yaer and a half before we moved in together. Five months later he proposed. It can work for or against you. My husband and I decided to live together and see how we got along, managed finances, and problems. He had never been married and had no children and was 35. Now he has it all and we are very happy. If you can't live with someone, you definitely do not have a future. Better to go ahead and find out.

If you both decide to live together, make sure to talk about EVERYTHING before doing so. Are you going to split the bills or will he pay rent and you buy groceries and pay utilities? Who is going to clean what? Who is going to cook? Who is going to do laundry? If you disagree about something, how do you plan to resolve it? Where are you going to live?
Living with the man you love can be a wonderful learning experience, but just make sure you are both on the same page.

I am in the same situation, 7 month boyfriend and my current living situation is tough, but I have decided to wait a while. I don't want to move in for conveinence anyways... probably the wrong reason. Besides, why rush something, ya know?

LISTEN TO ME!!!

I started dating my boyfriend over a year ago. At 6 months, we moved in together. I was definatly recultant at first but it has been AMAZING! It was my first time on my own even, and he really makes sure to take care of me. Msg me if you want to.

ha what is it with 7 months? i moved in with my boyfriend after 7 months. probably after a month and a half of dating i started staying over every night and here when he wasn't home. 7 months i moved my stuff in and we'll be a year officially living together this May.

but i had lived with a previous exboyfriend. that was horrible & we had been together a few years before we moved in together. i should have known better. i agree with LeLuxe & the others who said that you need to make sure you can see yourself with him in the future & talk about finances, bills, chores, etc, and make sure he actually wants this too.

I moved in with my boyfriend after ten months. It's been a year or so since then and all is well. I think it just depends on the person. If you want to do it, do it!

word of advice, dont do it. have you seen the posts on this site alone dealing with the problems of moving in with a boyfriend?

every situation is different, and I dont know you or your BF so its really hard to say yes or no. But in my personal experience, I have lived with 2 of the guys I was with, and both of those relationships were the ones that ended the WORST. I would love to be able to tell you "just make sure you are certian first" but the truth is, you are going to think you are certain. I did both times and I was sadly mistaken. I guess what Im trying to say is that there are no gauruntees, we always think "hes the one" because as women, we look at things from an emotional view, rather than a logical one so before you do move in with him you need to try to look at him with a completely unbiased mind. Take your "love-dovey" glasses off for a minute and try to see him for the person that he really is, and not just "oh my gosh, i love him so much hes so perfect we get along great" because that is rarely actually the case and is usually just our brains getting ahead of ourselves, building up the things that we want to see and overlooking things that we should really be paying attention to.

oh and you should know that "practically living together" is COMPLETELY different than actually living with someone. I mean, right now you guys probably dont get into fights about who bought the last gallong of milk, or who should make dinner tonight, or whos job is harder, or pick your goddamn shoes up from in front of the door or whatever....but you will. (if you arent ready for it, anyway) sorry, but Im feeling a bit bitter today. good luck. just do what you think is right, its not the end of the world if you make a mistake.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.-Ron White

"word of advice, dont do it. have you seen the posts on this site alone dealing with the problems of moving in with a boyfriend?"

haha mine would be one of those.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.-Ron White

I also moved in with my boyfriend after... SEVEN months! The only thing I can say is that there WILL be arguments, and there will be compromises. You have to be honest with yourself, BRUTALLY honest and pay attention to what are things about him you will have to deal with later. Is he messy? Are there a bunch of dishes in the sink? Is he a partier? Does he like to talk things out?

Ask yourself those questions that SUCK. And just so you know, not all of them are going to be good... because he obviously wasn't molded to fit you, but if his "faults" are things you can live with, and yours are the same for him, then start looking for a place.

Another thing I recommend is, write EVERYTHING out. Who purchased or brought what to the apartment, who pays what, and so forth. It might be uncomfortable at first, but in case anything happens... you'll both be covered and your life will not get more complicated. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and this has definitely expanded our relationship.

You will lose the LoveyDovey-ness of the relationship. The relationship will definitely become more real and that's a good thing.

If you need to talk to anyone, you can definitely message me.

GOOD LUCK!

I support cohabitation, but I think it's a bit too soon. It's the best way to find out if you can actually handle the other person's idiosyncrasies. Wait till you've been dating at least a year.

I would have to agree that moving in together after 7 mos of dating is too soon in the grand scheme of things. You should definitely do test runs where you stay with him for extended amounts of time [maybe sublet one of your apts for the summer and stay together to see how it works out?].

My (now ex) boyfriend moved in with me about a week after we started dating, seriously! I think it was because he was 19 and didn't have a place of his own besides his parents. I was 23. We lived together for three years (though he moved out several times for small amounts of time when we'd break up) It eventually didn't work. I had great times living with my boyfriend, but I think it can strain relationships too much sometimes. My ex and I became like husband and wife (in a bad way) and we expected too much out of each other--I expected him to be home every night and he expected me to cook dinner for him every night (whether it was at 7 PM or 5 AM when he came home from the bar).

Now that I'm seeing a new guy, I LOVE that I live alone and want to keep it that way.

I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years and have been maintaining two residences. We spend half the week at mine and the other half at his. We thought about moving in together, but decided that we would not because getting financially involved with someone you're not married to is a bad idea. What if it doesn't work out, then one of you, if not both, has no place to live. I'd rather wait until we're at least engaged to move in together.

My boyfriend and I moved in together after about 1.5 years...ours is somewhat of a different situation though because we are both sstill in college and our parents pay for most of our bills (rent, electricity) BUT we both contribute to making the money that pays for TV, groceries, going out, etc. We were doing the same thing as you...sleeping together every night. And it is definitely different to live with him, but I love it. While I might think 7 months is too soon - you are the only one that knows whether you are ready or not. But living together has definitely brought us closer...we are more open with one another, we communicate much more, we work things out better, and we just have a good time. I still go out with my friends on a regular basis and we don't see each other 24/7, but it's true that you share everything and every decision you will make will be together. I liked what one person said about potty habits because if you are worried about him thinking you poop or whatever get over it! He will smell those nasty poops and you will probably laugh together! Definitely discuss your expectations of what living together will be like and what will come of it. ALso, yes there will be stupid ass fights about cleaning the apartment or picking up tissues or doing the dishes, but those will last about 2 minutes and then you hug and kiss and it's no big deal! You have to remember that first and foremost your boyfriend is your BEST FRIEND. That will help a lot. If you want to know anything more please feel free to message me....I love to talk about living with my bf!

Hey Ladies, I'm the Original Poster and I really appreciate all of the advice.

I wanted to give a few more details because alot of the questions you guys encouraged me to ask have already been handled.

First of all, we would move into my apartment because he currently lives in this disgusting basement suite with his 51yr old cousin... it has spiders. I live on the 22nd floor of a nice building closer to downtown where his friends live and he works. 'Nuff said. We spend most of our nights there anyhow and we stayed at his house two nights ago and he says "I almost dont feel comfortable coming to my place anymore... lets stay at your house tomorrow." He has his video games at my house and we bring his laptop with us to whichever house we're at. He has his clothes at my house though I bring an overnight bag when I go to his house because he doesn't even have a dresser.

Which presents the next question: Who's furniture? Well, he moved to Canada from Jamaica 3 years ago so obviously he didnt bring much stuff. He still lives out of his dufflebag and just tosses clothes in his closet. He has a queensized mattress on the floor, no frame or anything and all of the furniture that he has is his cousin's because his cousin has lived here for 20years. My parents recently moved onto their boat so they gave me all of their furniture, I have a brand new bed with a $2000 mattress, couches, bookshelves, chairs, desk etc etc etc, everything I could need. So, obviously he is more then happy to keep my furniture... all he tosses is his crappy mattress haha Also, we keep his pillows... I like them better.

Next: Cooking/Cleaning
I cook, he does the dishes. I had cleaning and he hates cooking, it works out very nicely. Also, he doenst have high expectations for my culinary experiments. Also, he would NEVER expect me to get up and make him food at 5am if I was sleeping. He RESPECTS me. Nevermind the fact that he doesnt drink and neither do I so I'd be very suprised if he came home drunk at 5am and woke me up to cook for him... I think I'd get a kick out of it if anything, He is self reliant to an extent... he loves PB&J Sandwiches hehe.

We clean everything else together or we would hire a cleaner for a day when we need the bathrooms scoured etc etc. We've yet to have a major problem though I need to start picking up my clothes because it drives him nuts when he finds my sweaters in the livingroom. So far we're doing pretty good but it will be something we will learn to address whether we move in in 3 months or 3 years.

Next: Bills
I assume we'll split them, currently we split the groceries we buy, he buys them one night, i buy them another or I buy them and he treats me to a movie and a night out etc etc. When we go out for dinner we usually split the bill or take turns paying. We're doing good so far, he is a very fair person and hates to take advantage of people, especially me. We have both lived on our own for a very long time, out of the parent's nest since I was 18 and him since he moved to Canada. Again, this is something he and I will discuss when the time comes. We havent had any problems yet and I assume we'll split things.. I'll pay for cable, he pays for internet etc.

The opinions here are SO mixed... some of you say 'Go for it!' others say 'Stay away!!!' this is such a weird decision to make. Thank goodness I'm not in a rush and right now we're quite content in having our own places, even if we dont spend any time apart. It's really helpful to have all of the different view points though. I appreciate all of the help I can get at this point. I prefer to hear from people who have lived on their own for a while (no relying on mommy and daddy, just sounds like you're going from being dependent on mommy to being dependent on boyfriend) and I love hearing from the married women haha Gives me hope! Nick and I have talked about marriage, we both agree that some day we will be married. No specific plans, just a general consensus.

Thanks for all the advice ladies.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Fallen 85, thanks for the info. If marriage is not even on your radar, I would have said it is too soon to move in together, but since it is, let's go from there.

People give advice on this based on their own experiences. That's great. But in my book it comes down to money. If the unthinkable were to happen (he cheated on you, you develop a fluke allergy to him, I don't know...), and you were to break up, what would happen? Remember that post a few weeks ago about the girl who was still living with her ex, and you know, sometimes having sex with him, because she couldn't afford to move out of their place? Yikes!

Before you move in together I think you should make sure, in an emergency, you can afford to:

1. Just up and move out of your apartment if necessary.
2. Buy new stuff if your old stuff reminds you of him (or from your situation, if he needs the stuff because he has nowhere else to go).
3. Take a vacation to get away from each other.

If you really want to do it, if you're moving towards marriage, if you've got a support network, and if you've got the cash/financial security to get out of the situation in the future *IF* you might ever need to, I think you're okay to go for it. Just remember to have these money things for you, not for "us."

Also be careful that you want to move in together to build a future, not just because you think his place sucks. That could cause resentment.

You're ready to move in when you're married.

Look, either you love him or you don't. Either you want to spend the rest of your life with him, or you don't. If you're not sure, then you need to date him longer till you ARE sure. Moving in together will not help this process. In fact, you could find yourself stuck in a loveless relationship bound together only by a 12-month lease.

And don't forget that people who live together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce. This is attributed largely to the fact that it's easier to get married, even if you're not exactly happy, than to break up, break your lease and move out. Add a pet or a kid to the mix, and it's even more of a disaster.

There's also the added issue of "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?" I don't know what kind of guy your boyfriend is, but you moving in with him says he gets all the benefits of a wife (cooking, cleaning, daily sex) without the commitment, and that's the wrong message to send to anyone you want to respect you for the rest of your life.

Yikes - I just read your response. Look at how this guy has lived on his own. A "disgusting" basement apartment, living out of a duffle bag . . .very different from how you choose to live. If he moves in with you, you'll always see it as "HE moved in to MY house." You'll feel like it's your place, not yours and his. You'll resent him bringing his lower standard living habits with him . . .

This just doesn't sound like a good idea.

First of all, we dont plan on having kids. That is a whole seperate issue but we've both decided that we want to be D.I.N.K.S for the rest of our lives... I think a dog may be in the cards in the far off future though hehe.

Also, as per the "Why buy the milk cow when you're getting the milk for free", my boyfriend is already getting the milk for free and frankly he's gorgeous so he could get alot of different kinds of milk for free and is often offered.. um.. others' milk... but regardless he chose this cow.. er... okay I'm not too fond of this analogy anymore. Anyways, bottom line is that he is in this just like I am. We're 100% game for the future together and we talk about it constantly. He knows I want to get married some day, his family is christian and mine is catholic so they wouldnt let us get away with not getting married for too long (Nevermind the fact that his mom is a wedding planner)

I love the idea of having the 'Escape Route' it's a good thing that any independent woman should always have. I've got my own little savings account so I think I'll throw some extra in there each month as a 'Just in Case' fund. You never know! On the other hand, we both have strong family ties, we are both very independent and I especially have a really strong home base. If i needed to escape I would not hesitate. My family would take me in, my friends would take me in. I have escape routes if I ever needed them and he has some too, if worse came to worse though I doubt it will. Also, no plans to sign a lease, I recently moved into my parents' old apartment after they moved out so its month by month because they lived there for so long.

Again.. i dont plan on cleaning, I am not a maid. I cook, he cleans. I'm totally getting the good side of this! He's from Jamaica, women there are held on a pedastal, equality is key. He does not see me as a maid, he sees me as an equal, a person that he respects and listens to and shares issues/duties with. I'm a lucky girl.

Luisamapacha it suprises me that you're the "move in after marriage" type, just never would have guessed.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

I think sunnyheart's advice is really smart.

Luisamapacha, he is a clean freak. He lived out of the dufflebag because he didnt have a dresser and didnt get one because he never planned on staying in this basement suite the rest of his life. His room was always really tidy, bed always made but his cousin had some really gross habits, his cousin also has a 10yr old son who stays over on the weekends.. 3 boys living together is gross, no matter what their own habits are. Nick would clean the bathroom when it got really bad but when he stays for a week at my house and goes home he is revolted.

Besides, what would be the other option here? You're just saying 'dont do it' never do it? Not a great option for this relationship.

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Fallen, awww, you guys are so adorable, by the way I your pic together on your avie.

How do you feel? Are you ready?

Have you guys talked about moving in together yet? Are you BOTH ready for that step?

If you think you are, are you comfortable enough to discuss about bills (each pays half of the rent, divide the utilities, etc), are you comfortable of drawing up papers so that he can sign that he'll promise to pay half of the rent, and pay the internet while you pay the cable, and so on? Because those are the uncomfortable details you may want to pursue if you guys are about to live together so that IF things don't go accordingly, everything has to be sorted out in that way so no one will feel slighted or taken advantage of.
And I agree with the above poster who suggests that you may want to have enough cash/financial security to get out of the situation IF it ever comes to that (it's a just-in-case-er).

If you're okay with discussing such 'sordid' but necessary details, then I'd say if you both know you're ready, I'd probably say 'take the plunge.'

And like every other posters, I'd also give a 'warning,' that whoa, it's really different when you're living w/ someone opposed to dating someone
Sometimes silly stuffs set you off (for example: laundry, the way he just jumped to bed WITHOUT showering , etc) and since you're sharing a space (as I do w/ hubby and my son), when hubby is in the bad mood, he'd get all p!ssy and b!tchy (yeah, I call him b!tchy) and he can rant at me, and VICE VERSA. And you need to kind of expect that to happen. But I can safely say that like you and your bf, hubby and I don't hold grudge for long. You're going to have the honeymoon phase when everything is grrrreat then when things settle down, you get to see each other's quirks and everything is not so rosey, but if you both can adapt to it, it's all good, I think.

Good luck to you, sweetie

Damn, Fallen, you're LUCKY to have a clean freak as a bf.

My hubby is the furthest thing from clean freak. I have a belief that you need to take shower before going to bed, and he just jumped in the bed and that annoys me to no end. I kept making him change his clothes before going to bed.

And I have to CLEAN around the house because no one (well, my son is my little helper now) will pick up the mess. I don't really like cleaning up At least hubby is handy when things go wrong, and he takes out the garbage and I often make him GRILL stuffs for dinner

Haha we're so the opposite nevaeh! I am always the one grilling away (I looove me some BBQ!) and I'm the one who put our BBQ together in the first place, I can fix stuff and he cleans all the time. I am so the opposite of a clean freak so I think I'll drive him batty before he ever has a chance too. How long were you and your hubby together before moving in? Before getting married?

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Well, I used to be a huge advocate of doing things whenever you felt like doing them and not worrying about what other people said about time tables and blabla steps in a relationship (zzzz - BOOORING!) - but then I moved in with my boyfriend, after a year and a half, and even though we had sometimes spent 3 weeks cooped up in my apartment before, nothing prepared me for what it really is like to live with someone. Of course I adore him; and I don't wish it were any different; but some things go out the door pretty quickly when you move in together -

however in love you are, and however hard you work at it, it's just not as exciting to see him anymore. Because he's there. Every day. Every evening. Every morning. And you don't ever get to miss him, even for just one night; and you don't get to wonder "what is he doing, is he thinking about me, when am I going to see him next, is he spending the night?".

Then, suddenly, that wonderful sexy handsome guy pays waaaay less attention to brushing his teeth every night, and sometimes walks around farting without making a cute apologetic face. I'm sorry, what happened to my cologne-wearing, dashing, always in a good mood sex god?

And I'm not even talking about the arguments on where to hang that ugly picture (in the trash, please) or what color sheets to buy (what do you mean you don't like pink?). Or the month you're broke and can't buy much groceries, and that's just when he feels like steak on a daily basis.

All this may seem like details that love surmounts, and they are. But what they do, in effect, is change the relationship. And I think it's great to do that after a little while, maybe a year or so, but as early as 7 months? It's just a shame to bypass the rest of the courtship and the dancing around each other and the being excited all the time, which is so much fun and should be enjoyed thoroughly - once the responsibilities of sharing a life appear, all the starry-eyed breathless head-spinning moments tend to recede. They still happen, and there are many other wonderful things to be had, but now I'm of the opinion that you should take in every minute of the beginning of a relationship, all those magical moments, and make them last as long as possible.

I remember the first time we went to the supermarket together, a couple of days after we moved in together. We were so giddy and excited, we looked like total idiots. We were holding hands and grinning and making out in every aisle. That was a year ago. Now we just go to the supermarket. And shop. And pay. And whine the whole way home because the heavy bags are hurting our fingers. You know what I mean? Some things cannot be caught again; so while you're holding them, cherish them. The first months of a relationship are like that, in my opinion. Magical, and so ephemeral!

i completely agree w/ karlotta

Fallen, it was about 7 months when he proposed. Then again, he is a 'little bit' older (He's going to kill me if I said he's a LOT older ). We moved in together a month after he proposed, then got married at city hall around 2 months later. So it was a quick thing. I sincerely think that he's ready to get married/settle down due to his age (plus I think he's in love w/ me too), and I was ready too so why not.

You're the one doing the grilling? WOW. I can't grill to save my life. I've watched my hubby do it so often, but for some reasons...the techniques never stick w/ me

I think you should listen to your gut here. You're planning on having a "just in case" financial fund that you contribute to monthly, as well as places to move to if things go bad?! That tells me your gut is telling you "no" but you're trying to weasle around it.

Why should you be the one to move if things go south? Isn't it your apartment?

And it sounds like this move may be, for him anyway, more out of convenience. An escape from yucky roommates.

I just don't think it's time.

Luisamapacha, I think you're wrong there. Every smart girl has an escape plan; no matter how perfect a relationship is. Thats why people sign prenuptial agreements... just in case, right?

I think Nick and I have a very very strong relationship and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I can totally see us growing old together, but what if? What if in 3 years something major happens in my life? What if HEAVEN FORBID he passes away or gets sick? Then what will I do?? This is just a safety net for anything that comes my way, every smart woman should have a back up plan no matter how flawless the future may look. I dont think this casts doubt on my relationship or subconciously tells me I'm not ready, it just proves that I am a realist and not a pessimist, like you, or a optomist like a lot of 18yr old girls out there who have their hearts stomped on and their lives screwed up by the time they hit 19.

I'm curious Luisamapacha, what is your situation like? Are you married? Single? Divorced?

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

only u are going to know when you are ready to move in with someone. are you thinking that maybe he is the one. understand that if you move in together and start behaving like a married couple, sharing finances, bills, etc. if you for some reason would breakup things can get very messy very quickly, someone is out a home and money and it really doesnt work well. think about and take your time. whats the hurry

lol fallen85 i am in fact a 19 year old woman. I am not married to my boyfriend but I can say for sure that him and I are on the same page and have talked about marriage extensively (I want to wait until I graduate from college) we were living together at 3 mos. Of course, I did live with my parents before that but I'm a very independent young women and very mature for my age, I know what I want and how to get it. I've also been through a lot and learned a lot in the 19 years I've been alive. I've never lived with a boyfriend before the one I am currently dating. I've been in about 5 (one super serious and the others were semi-serious) relationships prior to the one i am in now. It may seem as though i am too young to be giving advice to you and maybe i am but hear me out when i say..you are ready when you both are on the same page, be it 2 months or 4 years. You will have to be able to put up with his manneurisms (some that may even disgust you) finances, and everything else a married couple goes through without the ring and vows basically.

Today is my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend and so far everything has been wonderful! and we are on the same page. Just make sure you two are ready and willing before you move in together, but to be honest it sounds like so far you two are doing great!

good luck!

Well, it's harder if it ends, but...

I moved in with my boyfriend after about 7 or 8 months. Before that, we had spent almost every second together. Beyond a trip I took to Florida, I don't think we spent more than 3 night apart since day 1. Anyway, we are still together and are moving to a new, bigger place in a few weeks.

I disagree with the poster who said it isn't exciting to see them anymore. I am still happy and excited to see my boyfriend every single day when I get home from work. A couple nights a week, we do our own thing (I have a second job, he has a poker night) and it makes me treasure our time together. We work on home projects together, eat dinner together most days a week, and I get to see his cute face every morning.

It isn't perfect, but it was worth it. I'd go out on a limb to say it was my best decision ever, maybe second to saying yes to dating him

Those statistics that people speak about are really dependent on several conditions of when and why the two people move together. Unfortunately, there are much more people who move in with each other for the sake of convenience, not commitment (i.e. saving money, living closer to work and friends, escaping their own family household, an uncommitted trial run of the relationship in cohabitation, etc). In reality, the couples whose relationships do succeed after marriage are those who, at the time, were already completely committed to each other and moved in together because they simply love each other. Cohabitation was considered the step before marriage and for those who didn't believe in the institution of marriage, they treated their relationship as if were one.

By the way, my boyfriend lived in an awful, gross apartment before we lived together. We keep our apartment fairly neat, even if sometimes I have to bribe him into cleaning!

I'm not the type that listens to statistics but it does seem pretty soon to move in with him. I have been with my boyfriend for two years and we don't even live together yet! even though we're saving up to get a place together. I remember the first 7 months of our relationship I thought I knew everything about him. It actually took a good year and a half for us to discover everything (still don't know it all) and if I moved in with him that soon it would be doomed.

I'm torn on this one.

I would like to know about Luisamapachas situation too...I have been curious.

KathleenxCouture, please dont think my comment about preferring advice from people who didnt live with their parents before going straight into boyfriend cohabitation was aimed at you, i had a feeling you would think that but it was actually aimed at someone else who struck me as the type of person who didnt share my situation. I like the advice that you gave me and because you were in college its a bit of a different situation, you obviously put alot of thought into moving in with your man and i appreciate your advice.

Actually, everyone has given me toooons to think about. It sounds like one of those situations where I'll just... KNOW when the time is right. I'm sure we wont move in wiht each other til the fall but i guarantee it will happen before marriage.

Also, Luisamapachas, you give out alot of advice and always seem to think you're 100% correct in all of your opinions... I think we are all very curious what your social situation is. I like to hear from the married women and the ladies in Long Term Relationships because they relate alot more to what type of advice I'm looking for but I've been quite curious about you Luisamapachas.. all I know is that you dont like fat guys. Lets get some details!

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Well, I don't ever want to get married or have children. I've only wanted to live with someone for the rest of my life. So I don't see a problem with this.

Oh no fallen85, I didn't think of it as you not preferring advice from me i just wanted to clear up my situation haha . But really, my boyfriend and I just couldn't live without each other and we still can't..I can't really even go a day without wanting to be near him or talk to him and he is the same way so even at 2 or 3 mos. i would stay over every night until eventually all of my stuff had accumulated into his apartment and he loved it haha he thought it was adorable that I would go to my parents house and come back with a duffel bag. There were times I would say "okay well, i gotta go home" and he'd say "no just stay i don't want u to leave...actually just move in!" but really we can't stand the thought of being without each other even after 2 years. In fact, last year I went on vacation with my family about 200 miles north and even though it was only a 3 day thing..after 5 hours of not being near him we were calling each other every 30 min because we missed each other so much (and this was even after the lovey-dovey stage at about a year of being together and 9 mos of living together)

so clearly his and my mutual agreement to cohabitate had nothing to do with convenience and everything to do with commitment