i hope my boyfriend proposes soon... he keeps giving me little hints

I think 8-12 months is perfect, but unfortunately, i have to wait for grad school to be over (no summer breaks for me!), so ours ill end up being 18 months.

Engaged for 11 months, I think it was great for us- we didnt really talk about how long we wanted to be engaged, it was more that we picked a date and it just happened to make our engagement 11 months long, but I would have wanted at least 6 months to get the wedding planned.

I'm getting married in August, I'll have been engaged for 8 months at that point.

i wish i could choose OTHER! i think 1-2 years is ideal....long enough to enjoy the engagement and plan without stress, and not too long that it just loses its thunder

I would allow enough time to get living arrangements settled, and then have a civil ceremony. After that, I'd want to take as much time planning my reception as a big event. So 6-12 mos to get married, and then another year to have a big badass Desi reception with all my friends and family.

imo, once engaged the person should begin planning the wedding, so maybe 6 months to a year. I've never understood those who get engaged, then wait forever to even begin thinking about a wedding. I've always had the thought that "being engaged" equals "getting married". If you're not planning to get married soon, why get engaged?

We were a week shy of 6 months to get married, and only because the diocese we got married in required 6 months of prep. I was READY! I would have hated being engaged for more than a year and he knew that. Thankfully he planned ahead.

We were engaged for 2 years. And Linb, the reason being we had to save up for the wedding. We have been together for 10 years, with the engagement coming 7 years in. Obviously, we don't rush things

Wow, I guess Im in the small majority that is going for about an 8 year engagement lol. Maybe if people lengthen out your dating period, then the engagement for a few years, divorce rates won't be 60%! Think about it

So apparently I fall into the first category, because I've been "engaged" for almost 4 years. Crap, seriously? That sounds like such a long time.

I don't think we'll ever get married, and honestly, I'm okay with that. We've lived together for over 3 years and I don't see any reason to change things.

I will never understand engagements that last for years on end. To me, getting engaged means you're ready to commit to each other in the very near future. If something is keeping you from making that total commitment, why not date for awhile longer and not worry about getting engaged until life circumstances are a better for you? JMO.

A year at most. Less, even better.

I would also pick between 1 and 2 years (not sure why that isn't an option). Based on what friends and family members said it takes about 18 months to plan a fabulous wedding.

I agree Stacey. A year to a year and a half is great if you're planning an elaborate wedding.

If you're holding the event at an exclusive spot you'll need that much time in advance just to book the reception site!

Oh about 1 - 1 1/2 years.

We were engaged for 11 months before we got married.

I don't think there's any rule of thumb for this, whatever works for you...every couple has different circumstances and things going on.

But I personally didn't want one of those long "we've been engaged for three years, but haven't set a date yet" types of engagements. We set a date two months after we got engaged and started all the planning.

before i got engaged it was 1 year. after i got engaged i enjoyed it for about 2 months before the people puloling me in different directions started to make it less fun. i'd say no more than 6 months. you start to think about how much eaiser it would be to elope after that.

I want a long engagement.. there's no need to rush... u have a life time to be married

My now-husband and I spent just over a year engaged. Most of that was because we wanted to get married on or very near to Halloween (we're both a bit strange like that) and that meant we'd either have to pull off a wedding in about 6 weeks or we'd have just over a year. Since I'd never though anyone would ever want to marry me, I'd never given any thought to what kind of a wedding I'd want, and Nyghtfall (his online name) and I had never discussed getting married before he inadvertantly proposed to me.

We'd only dated for six months at that point, but we'd been friends for six years, so we already knew each other pretty well. The two biggest problems in planning our wedding were money and my mother. We ended up needing the time to find way to get what we wanted on the VERY small (less than, maybe $4 or $5 grand for the wedding, reception and honeymoon, total) and to get my mom to quit freaking out about the lack of tradition in the ceremony. I don't know HOW many times during the planning I wanted to just give up and elope, but when I think back on it, as tough as that year was, I'm really, really glad we had the wedding. Even though I'd never dreamed of what I wanted, when it happened, it was like an absolute fairy tale, with my handsome prince waiting at the altar for me.

I'm gonna post more about my wedding at my blog if you want to know more.

Now, on the subject of shorter engagements, those can work just as well. My parents met in June and were married in September, and this year, they'll be celebrating their 45 anniversary. What really cracked me up was that my mom had always told me that when Dad asker her to marry him, she had to think "long and hard" about it because she's 11 years older than him, and, especially 40 some-odd years ago, that wasn't exactly the norm (and she gets on ME about breaking traditions?)

When I finally found out just how little time there was between meeting and wedding, all I could do is laugh and ask when all that "thinking" took place! But it's worked for them, they're still very much in love and very happy. And while my mom and I have had our differences, I look at how they've handled their marriage as a good example for me in how to handle mine - and luckily, Nyght's parents were married for about 25 years, until his mother passed away a few years back, so he had the benefit of a good example as well. When we printed up our wedding programs, we made sure to include a note thanking our parents for having given us those examples to follow and I can only pray we stay as happy as our parents have.

licket split--i agree with you. my fiance and i will be gettin married in a lil more than 6 months after he proposed. honestly, i dont need a long drawn out engagement. unless you want to book a spot in an exclusive place, IMO anything too long just seems like youre prolonging it on purpose...

I think it depends. I've been with my guy for 5 years and we've talked a lot about getting married, but the timing is not right. We want to, but we can't afford to right now. He would like to finish school and that's about 3-4 more years. I feel that's long, but we'll see. I think he fears that if we get engaged, we're getting married right away, and I had to remind him that people are engaged from 6 months to 3 years or so. Just depends on the couple and their situation. So hopefully him and I can find a happy medium cuz 4 more years . . . yowza!

peachesmel9- do you watch the office? the Pam and Roy situation was the first thing that popped in my head when I read your comment lol

I don't really think it matters, although I would have liked a longer engagement. My hubby and I were engaged for 6 months before we got married, he proposed on New Years and we wanted a June wedding. But planning a wedding in six monts was SO stressful, it would have been nice to take our time.

we're not officially engaged yet, but I already started the wedding planning. Well, OK, I started when I was 13 long before I ever had a boyfriend, but now I'm making guest lists and stuff. I just love the whole wedding planning thing and I want to enjoy it for as long as I can, lol. Plus it takes me forever to make decisions... not about the guy, about the dress and stuff
Once we're officially get engaged (probably in October), the wedding will be a year to a year and a half from then.

Hmm,I would get married after exactly two years of being a couple. I'd bring up marriage as soon as the two year anniversary comes up. If he says he's finally ready to walk down the aisle? Then, I'd go to the store pick out my setting, when I get the ring announce to everyone I know about the good news. Finally, I'd get married in three-four months. as simple as that!

we'll end up being engaged about 18 months....i want to get married in october, when my parents got married, and so when we started talking about getting hitched, we decided to wait until next year to give us time to save and NOT plan in 6 months....i'd probably go crazy. about a year i think is ideal, but when he proposed in march, and i already knew when i wanted the ceremony....it turned into 18 months. which i imagine will go by a lot faster than i plan =)

i'd say ideally, 18 months. that's plenty of time to snap up your ideal location and plan without going crazy.

my engagement is going to last about 3 years, because we need to save money. my ton of student loan debt + huge family = needing a long time to save. we wish we could get married sooner... we've been tempted to head over to city hall a few times, but it just wouldn't feel right without my family there.

Our engagement will be 17 months, and it is WAY TOO LONG in my opinion. Maybe it's because we dated over 5 years before getting engaged, but I hate having such a long engagement... it just worked out that the best time for us to get married was between graduating medical school and starting residency, so we had to wait until May. Almost done...

Ugh. Is engagement week over yet? No offense to all the happy newlyweds, but I wish there were a way on my TeamSugar to never see another wedding related post! Everyone is getting married, it's all my friends talk about, I am so tired of it!

Oh wow, only nine of us would elope!? Geeez....

Haha...girlfriday, I'm feeling your pain. I think the wedding obsession (not just on the sugar network!!) is one of the reasons I would rather elope. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and the more options the wedding industry churns out, and the more obsessed women are getting with it the more I want to avoid all of that when I get married.

I do have to say that I am enjoying my friend's engagement though, but it's my first close friend to get engaged.

I'd like to take about a yr. I don't want to rush into things as soon as I'm engaged and then be consumed with wedding planning right after. I'd like to bask in the joy of it for a bit.

I think 1 to 2 years if you want time to plan a well organized larger wedding. We only had a little over 100 guests, but the location for the reception was not available for over a year.

I like the idea of being engaged for a while and not even living together.

I don't think there should be a specific amount of time someone should be engaged.

I think whatever is right for the couple is fine. Also if you're having a large wedding you'll need more time to prepare. My engagement was exactly 3 months and sometimes I wish it was longer and other times I love the fact that we couldn't wait to be married.

We have been engaged for 16 months.. together over 3 years. We're tying the knot in October and I'm so glad we've been patient because now we get to have the wedding of our dreams!

i only been engaged once, but he proposed 08/18 and we were married 08/14 the next year. it was a little under a year

i picked the one year one, but really i think between 1 and 2 years is good. that way there is less stress trying to plan the wedding quickly and you can actually enjoy the engagement. but i have no problem with shorter or longer engagements.

i was engaged for 5 months. small wedding, no need for a long time to plan, it was perfect for us.

I've been engaged since December and haven't even thought about setting a date yet. It's a matter of personal preference. If I want to wait until my family (that lives far away) and his family (that lives in another country) can take some time to visit and discuss planning the most fabulous wedding, then that is what I am going to do. I want to make sure I don't rush anything so it is the most wonderful day of my life, and not have people scampering around frantically with last minute details. Right now, I'm thinking Fall '10, but that could change.

i think you should wait some time and actually get to know the person before you get married. also be sure that you two can start a life together from the beginning and not still living at home after you get married. that's lame.

I think a year is just nice. It isn't too rush and gives the couple time to work out whatever they need for the wedding. More importantly, it gives them time to save up for the big day!

I dont think there should be a time limit. Being engaged doesnt mean you have to start planning a wedding asap. I would say that once we were both ready to say "I do" then we do. Im also not a big fan of big weddings all that stress for one day. Nope not for me. Keep it simple and remember the day is about the two of you. Not what you serve for the main course.

PS I was engaged before for 5 years in my last relationship and I am so glad I didnt rush into anything because divorce is expensive.

We got engaged in Feb '06 and the wedding is this June. We decided to wait until we were done with our BA and BS before we got married. Things don't always go as planned because neither one of us is graduating this semester but we lived together unofficially for two years and officially for almost one year now. We definitely took our time planning but it depends on the pace and the lifestyle of the bride and groom. We are really laid back so we sort of do things at our own pace. I know of a couple that are getting married after two months! I can't imagine planning everything that quickly!

im waiting 1 year and 10 months only because i want a August wedding, and i did it right away id only have 10 months..i need more time to plan

I just got engaged on 6-2-09, and we're getting married august 30th-2009!why have a time limit when u already know each other and love one another and know that u want to spend ur life with the person Why wait? But to each their own

i'm about to propose to my partner, we've been together for almost 4 years. we haven't really discussed it, but i know i'd prefer a short engagement so that getting married doesn't take over our lives. i know that i want to spend my life with her and have a family, and i believe marriage comes first. the big day will be amazing i'm sure, but i am actually dreading the preparation and all that stuff! it'll be like choosing paint or furniture - just nod and agree, and it'll be over sooner!! the most important thing to me is that she is happy.